The G Manifesto

The Blueprint of a Perfect Night in Las Vegas

Las Vegas is leading the way for Western cities as far as Nightlife, Restaurants, Architecture and Design. A lot of this is due to Southern California’s need to be ultra conservative about things. Last call for drinks 1:30? Whose bright idea was that? Huge crack down of illegal night spots? Makes sense. Basically, they have made Southern California into a place that is very difficult to have fun at night. If someone tells you there is good nightlife in southern California, I will bet my last dollar that they are from some lame backwater or crappy suburban Middle America town……guaranteed they are from somewhere that’s way worse than Southern California. This all being said, Las Vegas has really stepped up to fill the void. But what is the best way to attack Vegas? First of all, never, ever, under any circumstances, yell, “Vegas Baby” or say “What ever happens in Vegas, stays in….” or any other genius, original sayings. If you get that part down, you’re better off than most people out there. But if you really want details, here is The Blueprint to a Perfect Night in Las Vegas (G Manifesto style):

8:00pm: As we have already covered, The Vegas Battlefield is won and lost on two questions, “Where are you staying?” and “What did you do earlier in the night?” That being said, you want to stay either at Wynn, Venetian, Bellagio, The Hotel (in Mandalay Bay) or in a pinch the MGM (not bad actually, if there is a Boxing Match). At 8 at night you want to be dipped in fresh gear (suits obviously, I prefer going with a tie in Vegas as well as pocket square….Brioni works well) and ordering a cocktail at the main casino bar for an opener. This is a good opportunity to lock down the bartender girl and some of the waitresses. Feel the vibe of the casino and make sure your ready for the night. Get your stories straight. Make sure your Zippos have plenty of fluid, working pen, plenty of smokes …etc. Pull data from bartender about any tips that might be new since the last time you were in town. No need to get panicky with the Grey Goose, you have plenty of time if you start at this time. That’s really the key, you want to start early. The more face time the better. If you’re dressed properly, and you use G Manifesto tactics, civilian girls will start gravitating over to you. Number crunch if there are some good prospects but don’t hang out too long because you need to eat a high-end meal and fuel up for the night…..

8:30pm Depending on which hotel you are staying, get another cocktail and an appetizer at the Second best restaurant in the Casino. This way you can hit two restaurants in a night. You might see a reasonably famous person (like a celebrity attorney or Aging athlete or actor) sitting at the restaurant bar eating solo. Go up and introduce yourself. Rap out with the cat. If you have game, and you make a good impression, he probably will pick up your tab for you (always offer to pick up the tab yourself). He might even give you some words of wisdom. Get his card for future and …..

9:15pm Shoot over to the best restaurant in the Casino and eat at the bar. This “chamber” is one of the best of the night. Again, pull data sheets from the bartender about new night spots. Now is a good time to intermix water in between the Gooses and Vino. Now is the time to enjoy yourself. Take your time. Chew your food. If you’re at Daniel Boulouds spot, get the short rib…..it’s slow cooked for 3 to 3 and a half hours. Although I have never been to a TGI Fridays, I am sure it’s better than anything they have on their menu to say the least. If you hit the best restaurant in any of the above mentioned Casinos, you are in for a real treat. If you get good rapport with the bartender he will probably pro-bono you heavy. If you are in a financial pinch, throw the meal on a phony credit card, or on someone else’s room number, preferably an enemy’s room number. Personally, I always pay CASH, and tip huge to keep the wheels greased for future. Make sure you get the Matre’ D’s card in case the next night you have a date with one of Steve Wynn’s friend’s daughters.

11:00pm The Casino Crawl. This part of the night is always interesting. This is the time of night when the girls who are smiling and winking at you from across the bar are not tourist girls who think you look like a young Andy Garcia and want to date you. The vast majority of these girls are pros. Real pros. The kind with a fee attached. This is another good opportunity to get your game up and running if you haven’t already. Talk to a few. Hey, if you meet one that looks exactly like Mariah Carey or Catherine Zeta-Jones, take her up on her offer. To each his own. I won’t judge you for it. However it’s better to leave the casino and move to the next step……….

11:45pm Shoot in cab over to Scores or some other Gentleman’s Club. You only want to be here for about an hour. This is where the “One-Three” rule applies. Your whole goal during this “chamber” of the night is to get One strong lead or Three loose leads. Girls usually can’t leave at this time anyway. You just want to get some good leads for later in the night. It’s like investing. Only this is much safer than Michael Milliken’s Junk bonds…..You want to try to split by 12:45 because that’s when status quo drunk Guy starts appearing at the Gentleman’s Clubs. If you stick around too long, you will start hearing people say, “Vegas Baby” or “What ever happens in Vegas, stays in….” So trust me…..get out of there.

12:55am The Nightclub. This is probably my least favorite part of the night. But it’s a necessary evil. I look at this point of the night as killing time. A good move is to “piggyback” on someone you know who has a VIP table so you don’t have to deal with the 500 people line to get in. Or freestyle it. It’s really not too hard to get into clubs in Vegas if you’re dressed sharp. For all of Vegas’s dapper history of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Bugsy Siegel, today’s Vegas, let’s face it, is a real Slob-fest. Very rarely will you see someone dressed as sharp as you. Personally, I never see someone dressed as sharp as me.

Once you’re in the nightclub, try to stay positive. Believe me, it will be hard to stay upbeat once you realize the DJ isn’t mixing and plays songs like “Jump Around”. The fact is, even with all the E Channel and Paris Hilton-Hollywood Hype, Las Vegas clubs are very sub-par. The DJ’s are generally speaking, horrible and the clientele is dressed up people who were eating at their local Dairy Queen two days prior. That being said, some of the girls are decent looking. But generally speaking, it’s a “Girls Gone Wild” crowd. Girls bringing back the Women’s Movement by lifting up there short skirts and doing phony “lesbian” dances. Don’t fall for it. Let “status quo Guy” fall for it. Guaranteed you will hear him say, “Vegas Baby”. Resist the urge to shove a rocks glass in his mouth or slit your own wrists. It will be all over soon. Most of these girls are sorority types on some kind of “Vegas sexual awakening” vibe that’s total crap. The bottom line that these are mostly Middle America white girls that can’t dance. Total amateurs. Personally, I like girls who Can dance. As you know by now, if its not models, I prefer pros……………..

3:00am Showtime. Head over to the best Gentleman’s Club Dejour. Shake hands on your way in and post up at the bar. Refer to the Manifesto Tip on Gentleman’s Clubs. Your home free now. Shift change is coming up and that room at Wynn you have will really pay for itself. In some of the Gentleman’s clubs in Vegas I have a better record than Rocky Marciano….and remember he was 49-0.

4:30am Roll back to your suite with girl(s) and enjoy……The Rest is Up to You.

(Repeat above night for as many nights as you mentally and physically can handle)

Side note:

To address all the rumors, yes, 50 Cent is a regular reader of The G Manifesto. The Manifesto was actually inspiration for his new “Window Shoppers” video being set in Monaco.

Now for the email of the week:

“With so much to be thankful for as the Holidays approach, no one is more thankful than I am for having Mr. Bond, sorry I meant Mr. Mason enlighten me with tips that have gotten me more hot ass than a toilet seat and a boy band combined in the past few months, cheers to you MPM, like the Guinness commercial BRILLIANT!!!”

—-never seen the Guinness commercial, but thank you—-MPM

“The G Manifesto is how I have lived my life..Sometimes people will call me a “bitch” but hey, I take it as a compliment. Why show Mercy to those who will destroy you if they get a chance??”—Cherilynn

—-There are girl G’s out there…….—–MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Matador of Metaphor
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com