The G Manifesto

Dates and The Vino Move

So, you met a fly girl out at night and she has agreed to go out on a date with you. What should you do? Should you take her to the movies to see that new Hollywood blockbuster? Should you take her to that new “hot” club in town where every guy is wearing striped “party” shirts and the DJ has no skillz? Should you take her to go see the new band she really likes? Should you play the “intellectual guy” and take her to a coffee shop for stimulating conversation? Should you just let her pick the place?

There are many different angles to take on a date with a girl, and most of them are wrong. In fact, the answer to all the above questions is “NO”. Movies are terrible in general and the girl will probably fall in love with the actor in the movie (who actually probably doesn’t even like girls). The club is a bad move because you leave yourself open to all kinds of sharks who “prey” on girls that are with guys on a first date. The live music thing? No dice. Why would you bring a girl to some gig where some other guy is the star? Coffee shop? Hell no, no cocktails. Let her pick the place? Are you insane?….that’s the easiest way to get “Behind Enemy Lines” (which of course we know how to deal with from a prior G Manifesto Tip). Here is how you do a date with a fly girl………. G Manifesto Style…….:

1. Choose the place. Never let the girl pick the place, or you’ll end up going to The Olive Garden for what she calls “the best Italian food I have ever had”. You need to pick the spot, preferably your “Base of Operations” or a new spot that’s mind blowing that you heard about from word of mouth or referral. Taking a fly girl to your Base will only increase your status at your Base, and also the girl will be impressed by the red carpet treatment you’re receiving. So everything works all the way around.

2. Make her meet you there. This part is extremely important as you will find out soon enough. Meeting the girl at your Base of Operations keeps your more agile and you don’t have to drink and drive. Also, this is what the Europeans and sophisticated city people do…they “meet up” or as the French say they “rendezvous”. White Trash suburban people go pick up the girl for the date…

3. Stake out a good spot in the restaurant. Always have your back to the wall. This way you can see everyone coming in….i.e. her current boyfriend, rival players, hit squads or members of P-2 (Propaganda Due, the renegade Italian espionage organization). Also, try to get there before her. This way if anything unforeseen happens (like your favorite bartender is sick) you will have plenty of time to establish rapport with the new bartender and Lock the place down “on the fly”. Plus this will give you some time to drink a couple of Grey Goose and Sodas to smooth it out…..

4. Once the girl arrives, always greet her with the “two-kisses” greeting. This always puts American girls under the “ether”. Or maybe it’s the custom made Canali suit with no vents. Either way, keep her hypnotized with upbeat, positive conversation. Travel is always a good topic of conversation to make sure there are no uncomfortable silences until the booze kicks in. Tell her stuff she has never heard before like, “the history of nightclubs in America” (which is easy for me since my parents took me to Studio 54 when I was seven years old) or about the real life “Keyser Soze” (who I won’t mention his real name) and how he controls America (which is easy for me since I know who he is and in fact my little brother is good friends with his son).

5. The Vino Move. As the night progresses, keep the Vino flowing at a brisk pace. Grease the bartender or waiter to make sure your wine glasses always stay full. In reality, these bottles don’t have to be the most complex/expensive bottles. First of all she probably won’t be able to tell the difference anyway, and second, sometimes it becomes a head ache analyzing every sip (“do you taste the black currant?” “Can you see how the wine is opening up?”) Just pick a good solid red; I prefer Bordeaux or a good Rioja. The whole point of this is you want the girl to be too drunk to drive herself home. (Lets be honest, the whole point of the date was too able to bring the girl back to your crib or a boutique hotel anyway.) After multiple bottles of red the girl will probably be in love with you anyway, and if she isn’t, she will be when you tell her that “I can’t let you drive, we have had too much to drink, let’s go to my crib for a glass of water”. The craziest part of all this is she will think you are a true Gentleman!

At this point in the night you will usually hear her say, “Ok, I will come to your crib, but I will not sleep with you…..” It is at this point in the night when you can truly relax and light up a smoke with your Zippo, because you are truly home free. Anytime a girl utters those words you can bet your last dollar that she will be tearing off the expensive Canali fabrics you have on the minute your key touches the lock of your door………..The Rest is up to You……….

The emails of the week in reference to: G Manifesto Tip: San Francisco, North Beach Cioppino, and The Pizza Move

“Once again the “Big G” shows how to manipulate the inner organs of America’s finest cities.”

“Man, i never even wanted to be a player, and now that i have seen the shining light from above, i know i was meant to be a “G.” I have just a couple of questions though… Where do you find a tailor that can make polyester look good, and should i put new duct-tape in the backseat of my pinto?”
———-skip the polyester, go with Italian silk, and ditch the pinto, pick up a cadillac———MPM

“Do people really live like this? Um, I don’t really see the point of this. Well written and all, but shouldnt it really be labeld ‘how to be a player’? Essentially, thats what you were describing, or maybe a a playboy, or a trustfund baby. Is this all you think there is to life? Well written, but maybe you need to evaluate your priorities some more. Maybe it’s just me, but this bothered me a little. You are a good writer, maybe you can actually write something of substance next time. Amy.”

——–Aren’t all girls named “Amy” the same? I met tons of girls named Amy in my life, and I can’t picture one of them. And you know what they say about pictures……… To be honest, Amy, this is written for true G’s and aspiring G’s. My “priorities” include (but not limited to): getting more out of life, having fun, dressing sharp, being a protector of the helpless, getting in touch with my spiritual side, dating models, influencing world politics for the betterment of humanity, making money and rolling around with High-Society girls (in no particular order). If these “priorities” are a crime, then lock me up…….——–MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Butcher
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com