The G Manifesto

Analog Game, Digital Game

“Play ya cards, go against all odds

Shoot for tha moon if you miss, you still amongst those stars”

–Beanie Siegel “Feel it in the Air”

There is no denying that Technology has changed “The Game”. For better or worse, you need to adapt if you going to stay one step ahead in The 21^st Century. Today we will analyze how The Internet, Cellphones, and The Digital world has changed the world of the G. And listen up, because I have gotten inside more skirts than washing instructions.

Caller ID and Voicemail

Obviously the invention of the telephone or the invention of the Printing Press (which was invented by Johannes Gutenberg, probably the most important person of last millennium next to Jack Dempsey, Muhammad Ali, and Don Juan) had the biggest impact on Game. But those two inventions happened way before my time. Probably the biggest technological innovation during my lifetime effecting Game has been Caller ID and Voice Mail. Gone are the days of constantly calling a girl until you get her “live” on the phone. Game has mutated from being skillful on a “hot call” to needing to leave innovative voice messages. This is certainly the case today as most girls won’t even answer calls where they don’t recognize the phone number or blocked calls. Unless you have multiple cell phones (like I do) you really only have one chance to hook a girl that you met at the bar and got her phone number. In the old days you had a million chances. So you need to up your leaving voicemail leaving skills in the Digital Game. Saying something like:

“Michelle, It was great meeting you during happy hour last Friday afternoon, I was the guy drinking the Miller light with my Mortgage broker buddies, and I was thinking maybe uh, sometime we could meet again and we could meet at the sports bar and have some potato skins and “brews” and you could meet all my buddies that wear khaki pants and striped shirts…..” isn’t going to cut it. At least not any girl that’s going to electrocute your nervous system.

You need to leave a message like this: “Davinia, Hola, Its Michael, I am having some Lobster Ravioli’s with my Godfather and a glass of Robert Biale, Black Chicken Zin, getting ready to go to the airport to go to Punta Del Este, but I will be back soon if I don’t go to Buenos Aires to check on the construction of my cousins nightclub, or to the Caymans to meet my Uncle who is doing some Banking down there, so give me a call so we can meet up when I am back in town. Ciao.”

Email

Now when I was coming up, and you wanted to keep in touch with girls in different cities or different countries, you had to write them a letter. Suprisingly, Email has actually made life easier. Personally, I never thought it would. In fact, I still remember when one of my friends (who is a G in his own right, good idea man, good visionary, and a good hijacker and has moved more Miami Base than Luke Skywalker from 2 Live Crew, now known as just Luke) first told me about Email. After he gave me a demonstration about how to use it, I remember saying “No one is ever going to use that crap”. I guess I was wrong. Email actually is a lot easier than having to go to the post office, and helps people with poor handwriting. Less personal, but saves you time that you could spend scheming, relaxing at a Gentleman’s Club, monitoring Armored Car routes, or spitting some street game.

Text Messaging

Text Messaging is actually a technological advancement that has helped the G. Here is the perfect situation: You are winding up a great business dinner; Mac and Cheese (Gruyere), Foie Gras 4 ways, Fresh Free Range Scallop Tartare, some raw little neck clams, some Winterpoint (Maine), Cape Breton (Nova Scotia), Malpeque (Prince Edward Island), and Tatamagouche (Nova Scotia) Oysters and a Bone Dry Sauvignon Blanc from the Graves District of France’s Bordeaux region. Suited down of course (Charcoal pinstriped Zegna Two Button, Grey Alexander McQueen Shirt, Deep Blue Kiton pocket Square, no tie, I think), with some friends and its only 11:45 pm and you are wondering what you should do with your head buzz and the rest of the evening. The best thing to do is shoot out a “Text Blaster” to ten girls you know and see who else is out on a Wednesday night. I usually get a better than 50% response rate, and I work off the fresh leads. This is way quicker than calling a bunch of girls and saves you precious (and I don’t mean that girl that works at the Penthouse Executive Club in NYC who goes by the stage name Precious, real name Sara, either) time. Text Blasters are one of my secrets to staying Undefeated, night after night.

Camera Phones

Anyone who has gone out in the last year has noticed the proliferation of Camera Phones in the Nightclubs and Restaurants. Personally, it annoys me and I avoid pictures at all costs. My Uncle (who was a top-notch Heist man in his own right) always told me to avoid pictures so there is no record of you being somewhere at sometime. Constructing alibi’s and things like that (and I don’t mean The Alibi, that great Exotic Dancer meeting point in New Orleans either). Regular 9 to 5 girls and Tourist girls will always try to get you in their pictures. Avoid them. If you stuck in one, get good at mastering the “turn your head” move before the Pic is taken. The only real purpose for the camera phone is documenting some girls you swooped on if someone in your crew doesn’t believe you swooped two Model girls, one blonde, one Latina, the night before.

Internet Dating Websites

Some people say you can meet mad girls on these. I don’t doubt it. But these sites are not really G Manifesto Material. Not Tactical. I have never done them and never will. Call me old-school if you want. I’m fine with that.

Evites

On paper, Seems like a great way to let a lot of people know your having a gig! In reality, it’s a great way to get a lot of un-interesting people together all at once. Try to think of any gig you have gone to from an Evite that was fun…..Exactly. Avoid all gigs from Evites.

MySpace

Many younger proto-type G’s swear by MySpace. I have checked it out and there are Mad Girls on it. But I am simply way too busy hanging at The Race Track, The Fights, Hotel Lobby Bars, Planning Heists, Counting Money, Grading Gems, Adjusting my Triple-Beam, Swooping Models, and Taking The G Manifesto to the next Chamber to screw around on that website (I barely have enough time to write For The People on The G Manifesto, and line for line, rhyme for rhyme The Manifesto is the Dopest site on the Internet, right?). I don’t knock the hustle though. I think if you are a Rhyme Spitter, a DJ, an artist, or whatever I think it is a great way to get your Product out there. The one good thing about it for the G is DATA. Here is the Situation: you meet a girl at some high-end gig and you think her family could be loaded with tons of Scratch. Grab her email address and plug it into MySpace and check her profile (almost every young girl has one these days, It is completely ludicrous, and I don’t mean the MC from ATL either). Check out her photos. If she has pictures of her family in front of their Track home in Phoenix or pictures of her and her girl friends drinking with some guys that could be part of The “Jackass” crew you know you’ve been duped and she is after Your dough. Information is the greatest Commodity.

I am sure this will be updated as new Technology gets created. Personally, I think we have enough. I think we should have stopped at Pagers (which was one invention that I thought made it easier to somersault Bricks) and I have recently toyed with the idea of returning to them. Well see. Till then…The Rest is Up to You………………..

Emails of the Week in regards to: Surf and Turf: The Race Track

“Gitty Up!!! Simply fantastic advice a real treat for the up and coming G, you were born to be a mentor. As for the 4 dead bodies, it would have been 5 but my SIG jammed up. Last time I was at the track I dropped 3 beans, got super wasted off the guitar margaritas in the peasant section and passed out in horse stable if it weren’t for a jockey with a moped helmet urinating on my face at 6 AM the next day I may have been raped by Seabiscuit. My game is on a whole other level now, I plan on hitting up this Del Mar gig soon after my next heist in LA, I plan on coming in fresh threads and bank roll big enough to fill up Santa’s Sleigh. Locals have been calling me simply “The Machete”. Going from Dickies and GAP tees to Gucci Loafers and 36 D’s is a tribute to your greatness Mr. Ghost Hands, see you in the French Riviera Mutha Fucka!!!”

–Two words: Colt Python. You should look into it.—MPM

And

“You think you are so fucking cool. Please tell me you didn’t come up with all the foolishness on that stupid page yourself. If you did, #1 – you have too much time on your hands. #2 – You are modeling your fantasy life from Puff Daddy’s world. #3 – You take yourself way too seriously. Nice Try. Real “players” that have “game” would never, EVER waste time posting about it on Blogger. You need to stop reading hip-hop lyrics and modeling your fantasy life from it. You lie! You sound like someone who watches too many music videos on BET. Remember that!”

—–First of all Skippy, watch the language, ladies read The G Manifesto. Second, I do like BET, and I have drank Champagne with Puff, but I like underground Hip-Hop more or just kicking back and watching “Wild Style”. Third, “We all know that Game is not truth. Game is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” And you can quote me on that G Manifesto original. Remember that……. Squeaky—MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Coffin, The Shovel, and The Headstone
AKA Michael Digital
AKA Miguel Analog
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)