The G Manifesto

The Club at Home and Amsterdam Naps

The Club at Home

We already know that The Nightclub, The Gentleman’s Club, The Lobby Bar, The Fights, The Race Track, Top-Notch Resturants, and High-End Gigs are where The G is most at home. But every now and then I switch up speeds like Bruce Lee riding a Fuji in a movie. Enter The Club at Home. The Club at Home is exactly that; having a Nightclub type experience at home. The best way to do it is Control the Guest list. When I do the Club at Home is I am the only guy invited. As far as girls, you are best if you go with a Regining Nightlife Princess, a few Fly Go-Go Dancers from a NightClub, or a mixed bag of Exotic Dancers. Better yet, it’s better to have The Club at Home at her crib than yours. Less mess to clean up.

Taking a page out of all the Asian-Themed clubs that are ridiculously overdone these days, get an order of Sushi on the books delivered over. Make sure to get plenty of Sake too. The Milky cold stuff is kind reminds me of the Korova Milk Bar. Moloko Plus. I can hear Vivaldi in the background. Dressed in the Height of Fashion. The Clear cold stuff is good to. The hot stuff is for rookies. All the Japanese Execs drink the cold sake. At the Atlantis in the Bahamas, I was chillin with a couple of cats from the Yamaguchi-gumi and they told me the same thing. Who am I to argue. Make sure you get Plenty of Sashimi also (It’s no secret that Nightlife Princesses love sashimi). I usually get plenty of Hamachi, Hamo, Inada, Uni, Maguro, and Toro. It’s wise to double up on the Toro. Get some rolls and maybe some Soft-Shell Crab Handrolls too. Monk-Fish liver (don’t tell her what it is) and Orange Clam for style points. Have it delivered. (You really need to have a Sushi Joint that delivers Top-Notch Sushi in your bag of tricks. If you don’t have a place that will deliver you sushi, you really need to give your self a reality check and start stepping it up.) Make sure you Grease the Delivery driver, that way he won’t mind making deliveries outside his normal area or after hours and he will keep you laced with the best cuts of Fresh Fish.

Make sure you have plenty of booze as well. The last thing you want to do is have to leave the crib to have to get more Goose or Champagne Mid-Club at Home. If the girl wants Beans or Beeks, I suggest not holding her back. But the decision is up to you. I have done an extensive unofficial Case Study and I have found that there is an inverse relationship between intoxication and girls clothes disappearing (keep in mind, I am not fully convinced on the data thus far and this study may turn into my life’s work). But hey, be my guest if you want to re-invent the wheel. Just make sure that the delivery guy doesn’t “make himself at home”. Side note: make sure the girl/ girls don’t get any bright ideas of inviting any guys over. More girls good. More guys bad. It’s really as simple as that. Don’t rule out turning off the girl’s cell phone or spilling a full glass of Chateau Leoville Barton St-Julien 2003 on it to render it not functioning (Armand de Brignac works well also).

One of the best parts about the Club at home is you can DJ the gig. So many clubs these days spin such wack records. And the DJ’s don’t count beats. I am not a professional DJ, but I can operate the One’s and Two’s. But Word Life, I can serve 90% of the DJ’s out there today. Most of the DJ’s today don’t know their history and haven’t done their homework. Like Mike D once said, “A lot of people claim to be Funky, but they are not students of the Funk”. Personally, I have a PHD in the Funk.

Once you have the pieces in place, spark up a smoke, kick up your Gucci Loafers and enjoy the entertainment.

The Amsterdam Nap

I invented Amsterdam Naps in Amsterdam back in 1994. They have been an important part of my Arsenal ever since. This was back when Raves were King and Beans could be had for two bucks each if not free (I had mad damage connects in those days). This was also during the music wars between Amsterdam and Rotterdam to see who could make there music faster. Girls had mad pony tails and pigtails, like Pippi-Longstockings. I think its cause of this period of my life that I pigtail a lot of my girls today, Pippi-Longstocking them. After a successful title shot Runner that some of my local Dutch G friends (one of whom was Top-Ranked Psycho-Killer/ Playboy) took me on, I needed to recharge my batteries. I slept for like 72 hours straight. No joke. Very different from the Vampire Nap (which is like for 5 to 20 minutes) but no less functional. Today, any nap over 24 hours qualifies as an Amsterdam Nap. Make sure you use a Tempra-pedic pillow or Tempra-pedic bed and some high thread count Egyptian Cottons. Turn the alarm clock off. The Rest is Up to You……..

Side Note:

Right now one of the most interesting Beefs in Hip-Hop is going on Between Jay-Z and the Dip-Set. The craziest part is that it seems Jim Jones is winning the battle. Now he has dragged in Nas as well (By the way the Nas track “Hip Hop is Dead” is off the rails). He is obviously in very deep water, going against two of the best lyricists in the Game, (and I not sure Jim Jones even raps that well) but the lesson to be learned is sometimes you have to take shots at the Main Guns. Jay might end up burying Jim Jones, but you have to love the underdog that has the guts to make a move (Jay does have some very futuristic word play on his new album that very few can touch, “I heard muthafuckers sayin’ they made Hov…,
Made Hov say ‘OK, so, make another Hov’…”). “Mami always told me to aim for the stars/ and now I’m beefing and I’m aiming at stars/ I pack heat like it came with the car, you catch em in the streets I’m a lay him like a broad/ Told Juan tell your old ass to chill/ Better slow down before your old ass get killed.” –Jim Jones

Side Note II:

Thinking about Amsterdam reminded me of a little story. My friend lets call him “Laurens” who I mentioned above was a Local Amsterdam G who I met when Game recognized Game…player recognition. He was at the time making a move in the Bean Trade, but some older Guys, real hoods, killers even, were the Top Kiddies. Laurens, who was along with being a funny guy and could Spit the Gift, was a first rate Sociopath. His ambitiousness was not looked upon too favorably by the older more established firm and when I was rolling mobb deep (and I am not talking about Rolling Deep that fresh London Grime Group either) with him the situation was a sneeze away from a full-on warfare. But amazingly, as the war heated up, “Accidents” befell both of the Main Guns of the other Firm. One committed suicide (and I don’t mean Suits VS SuicideGirls) fell asleep in his garage with his car running, death by affixation/Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. The other fell down an open elevator shaft in The Red Light District. After that he was the Top Bean Flipper. Just goes to show when you aim for the Stars.

Side note III:

Back in March in The Smoking Gun I gave a free investment tip: “Go long oil, long gambling, and long cigarette smuggling.” Exxon (XOM)was trading around 59 dollars then last week it was 75. Wynn (WYNN) was around 64 dollars last week it was almost 95. Obviously Cigarette smuggling has been profitable. I hope you took my advice. And yes, I do except thank you cards.

Email of the week in regards to Impeccable Technique: Vegas Beyond Undefeated:

“I never stopped believing in the G, you motor boat riding son of a bitch. Since I am a full fledged G now, I can appreciate the work of another fellow G. The “Vegas Guy” has defeated me in the past, I cannot not lie, but not anymore. I am quick to throw bows and draw my Nickel Plated these days like any other G, but I don’t find it necessary since I shit roses, piss Cristal and can talk Rosie O’Donnell out of finishing the last piece of cheesecake. I enjoyed last weekend at the Wynn when I swooped on pumpkin head Derek Jeter’s bitch, he looked at me, I flashed my silver and said “stick to your little wooden stick skippy”, I proceeded to take her to my dungeon and treat her like a soccer ball at a grade school in Portugal. Fun times, true story. Besides slinging gold Bullion coins, closing small arms deals with cartels in Belize and successfully drilling in Texas infill sites I have been pretty much the Dapper Don of G’s. I was in a high end liquor store in Tuscany last night and a fine woman with Royalty in her beautiful veins winked at me and said it smelled like a fresh Cuban Cigar, end of story!!!”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Your Favorite Player’s Favorite Player
AKA Your Favorite G’s Favorite G
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

The girls in this video remind me of my crib last Tuesday at 3am……