Death Threats and Voice Mail Gangsters
Death Threats and Voice Mail Gangsters
I don’t know about you, but at least once a month I get some guy on my voice mail giving me some kind of death threat (and I will bet my last Dunhill Lighter the guy leaving the voicemail is wearing an Affliction Shirt or maybe a Ed Hardy shirt).
Usually, these death threats are in the form of “If you don’t stop calling (insert girls name here), I am going to find you and kill you” or “I know you hooked up with my girl. I am her boyfriend. If you don’t stop seeing her, I and going to find you and (insert violent verb here)”.
The whole “Death Threats from Voicemail Gangsters” (and their little retarded cousin the “Text Message Gangster”) thing raises some interesting points:
1) If you don’t say the girls name on the voicemail, I probably have no idea who you are talking about. At any given time I am “dating” at least forty girls. And that is just in the U.S. Hell, I probably have intimate relations with at least 15 girls in Las Vegas right now. And at least that many working fly model girls in Miami Beach. And don’t get me started on Buenos Aires or Bogota. So, say the girl’s name on the voicemail, Skippy.
2) If you want to discuss the situation, don’t call from a blocked number (it is always from a blocked number). And no yelling a screaming. Don’t get so emotional and sensitive. Be calm and cool. I have no problem giving you some free schooling to The Game. I am that kind of G.
3) Don’t worry. I don’t want your girl permanently. You can have her back. I prefer not to have “girlfriends” for many reasons. And you can bet your last minimum wage Down Economy dollar that I am not going to have a girlfriend that is unfaithful. The World of Game is No place for beginners or sensitive hearts. Be a Smooth Operator.
4) Realize that I am actually doing you a favor. Now, at least, you know you cannot trust the girl. You should be thanking me. (For some reason, boyfriend guy never looks at it this way, but that is neither beeks nor beans).
5) If leaving a threatening voicemail on my phone is your way of scaring me, well, it’s not working. Just to clue you in (and I don’t mean DJ Clue either) real tough guys don’t threaten people. They take care of business. Real bad boys move in silence. So screw on the silencer.
6) If you think I am scared of dying, you are mistaken. I have stood down the barrel of a gun on many occasions. And I have always been Tranquilo. I have lived with contracts on my life. I have already lived a very fulfilling life. I have traveled the world. I have swooped thousands of beautiful women. If I do get gunned down, suited up while sipping on champagne, I will be laughing all the way to the Afterlife. Hell, I am probably more afraid of living.
Besides, what are you going to do?
Kill me twice?
So don’t sweat it “player”. I’m not.
The Rest is Up To You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Game Doctor Spock
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Ice Cube – No Vaseline (N.W.A Diss)
The Leopard Kill in Krugerpark
AZ feat Daddy Rose I’m Back
06/08/2008 at 2:54 pm Permalink
reminds me of that cam skit on his rocafella album!
06/08/2008 at 3:27 pm Permalink
the point about bad boys moving in silence is something that consistently needs to be reinterated to kids these days. running around and talkin smack is weesh and we all know it. nothing like showing up flashing the bank roll suited down and spitting game so hot ur printing so many trades the house is running out of ink.