The G Manifesto

A Typical Tuesday Night in Southern California

“California’s like a beautiful, wild girl on heroin …Who’s high as a kite, thinkin’ she’s on top of the world, not knowing she’s dying even if you show her the marks.”

– The Motorcycle Boy, Rumble Fish

Its 9:30 pm when I roll Dolo in the Southern California “party sushi” joint like the Fly Girl Racker, Bean Stacker, Zippo Clacker, friendly neighborhood International Playboy you know and love.

The Scene breaks down as it usually does:

Multiple tables of Girls with fake boobs partying for “Jenny’s”, “Sara’s” or whoever’s birthday, a few weesh guys in Ed Hardy shirts, I’m guessing a few “Reality Stars” from their hollow, insecure posturing, and some hipster cats in fedoras. Maybe a few actors. Who cares, I am sure their movies are wack.

Not bad, since Me against this type of competition is like Obama going against Hillary.

Especially, considering that I didn’t leave anything to chance and I am dressed Sharper than Health Care:

My President is Black and so is my one button Gucci bespoke suit with peaked lapels and Cookie Monster blue interior. My shirt and Brioni pocket square are Baby Blue as if my name was Gerber, and I am not talking about Rande either.

My Bontoni loafers: c’est si bon and my E. Marinella tie: magnifique, and of course, I have the Brushed Chrome Desert Eagle for any sashimi style Kobe Beef.

Pockets: Greener than “energy tech” and Bankroll: thicker than Azerbaijan “daisy-chained” spot crude oil.

My Game: sicker than Hong Kong Chicken Flu and I got The John the Conqueroo.

I am by eons the dopest, sharpest dressed, most brutally handsome cat in the spot, but Hollywood has never come up with a movie star that is half-IRA, half-ETA so the girls in the party sushi joint have no frame of reference for me.

I then exchange glances with the target: A Orange County fake boobs blonde wearing a dress from South Coast Plaza and shoes from Fred Segal no doubt. Her boobs are Faker than the Horsehead that Tom Hagen puts in that bed.

She is not some fly Estonian Model Girl or the daughter of Hungary’s richest businessman, but sometimes you have to work with what the Nightlife Gods have given you.

I then float, like a Mardi Gras parade, to her table of three of her girlfriends, drinking sake, and get ready to sting like a Mayweather Jab (Roger or Floyd Jr., doesn’t matter which one). Two of the other girls look identical to her, the fourth: weesh. I pull up a chair holding a far superior bottle of Nigori.

I then introduce myself as the DJ is spinning some wack crap that every single other person in the joint is loving. (Doesn’t anyone have Special Ed’s “I Got it Made” on wax anymore?)

Special Ed – I Got It Made

I then wave to the DJ (who I have carefully cultivated a “functional” acquaintance with over the last few months) who gives me a “finger point” and a smile back.

Instead of “Defeating this DJ”, I have “locked down” this DJ simply for him to give me high-fives and finger points so I don’t seem “weird” to girls when I roll in the sushi joint Dolo to pick up girls.

I then yap to the girls about how the live lobster sashimi is the best thing on the menu, which, of course, they have never tried. When I describe it, one of them says it sounds “gross” as different waitresses say hello to me and I get a few “finger points” from the sushi chefs.

The Girls tell me they come here for “the california rolls”. Another one of the girls tells me that she loves “the rice”.

I roll my eyes, but I have been through this literally a million times before so I keep calm and don’t start ridiculing the girls or stab myself in the eye with a chopstick.

They then ask me how I know the DJ and I yap about how I have known him forever and blah blah blah. Topics fire back and forth at a rapid fire pace as we down the bottle of Nigori.

The Girls tell me The Hard Rock in Las Vegas is their favorite place to travel. I tell them The Hard Rock is wack. They ask me where I would love to vacation next and I say “Seychelles or Mauritius” and they look at me like I am speaking a foreign language. I ask them if they have been to France, and they said they haven’t but they heard people are “rude” there. When the girls ask what I do for fun, I am tempted to tell them I have been experimenting with Voodoo to help me swoop even more girls than I already do and to destroy my rivals, but thankfully the owner comes by to shake my hand.

Junior Wells – The Hoodoo Man (1966)

The owner then gives me another bottle of Nigori (pro-bono) and the girls ask me how I have known him and I lie, “we go back a long time” as I think the owner is weesh, and barely know him, but I remain friendly with him for situations such as these.

The girls now think I am the coolest thing they have ever met.

But then again, I have paid the cost to be the Boss, so it shouldn’t be a shocker that they are loving me like Ugg Boots and Mac Gloss.

Styles P- The Key

After polishing off the Nigori, I invite the girls to another nightclub where I know the owners to get in “libre”.

On the way to the club (located a few blocks from my crib, coincidentally or is it strategically?) I light up a smoke with a dope “reverse” Zippo Clack, that, I invented when I was 12 years old. None of the girls notice how dope I light the cigarette but one of the girls says she “hates smoking”. “Smoking is so gross…and so unhealthy”, says the most out of shape and unhealthy member of the girl crew.

I ignore both of them, and keep “Pied Pipering” the girls. The main “Orange County blonde fake boobs girl wearing a dress from South Coast Plaza” says she “loves smoking when she drinks” and takes a drag off my cancer stick. I notice she doesn’t inhale.

Almost to the club, I spark up a another smoke with a snap of my Zippo and interrupt the yapping from the girls by saying “Hey!” so they pay attention to the dope “snap light move”, but it gets zero reaction.

We skip the line like an old Run-D.M.C. record and enter Le Club.

I spend the next hour with more mind-numbing conversation, winning over the group, and deflecting “SliverBack Style” some beta male Ex-Mortgage Brokers in I am guessing, Christian Audigier shirts (One beta-ex-mortgage guy I make scamper off simply by saying, “Did you know there are free Red Bull and Vodkas at the back bar?”).

I then invite the “Orange County blonde fake boobs girl wearing a dress from South Coast Plaza” girl back to my crib for Champagne. (Really just a $9 bottle of Processco, but she can’t tell the difference).

After swooping her till 3:30 am, getting more two lips than a florist* and shimmying her out the door to her cab, I can only wonder:

Was this night worth it?

Probably not.

Even International Playboys win some and lose some.

But most likely, I will do it again next Tuesday.

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

*In case you are stuck. Blower = Two lips = Tulips. Get it?

Chaka Khan- Stay (illest intro ever)

Stay – Rufus Featuring Chaka Khan

Styles P – The Key of course samples this:

Spandau Ballet – Nature of The Beast

Nature Of The Beast – Spandau Ballet

Commodity Trading: It’s All About Confidence

For March 30th– April 3rd 2009
By: Matthew Bradbard
http://www.mbwealth.com

Click Here for Pit Bull: Lessons from Wall Street’s Champion Day Trader

Have things gotten better? I don’t know, but investor’s confidence has returned. It’s not so much that things have improved dramatically, but rather that investors are willing to take some risks now that we have gotten more clarification from Bernanke, Geithner and Co. After weeks of waiting, we finally received more details on the programs that the government is trying to institute in order to remedy the problems at hand. The chatter has been on the recent rally in stocks but low and behold look at the recent uptick in a range of commodities. Looking at the CRB Index ytd, it has out performed stocks moving 8.5% lower when the S&P is off 10%. Bottom line, money managers and investors alike are looking at commodities as a way to hedge against the coming inflation in addition to diversifying their portfolios.

Livestock

After the close Friday, the USDA estimated the week’s beef production at 474.2 million pounds, down 0.5% from a year ago. June live cattle were lower all 5 session last week closing down by 1.925 cents. Support is seen between 80.40 and 80.80 with resistance at 82.50. May feeder cattle were lower by 1.20 cents last week. Resistance is seen at 96.00 with support at 93.80 followed by 92.90. We are advising clients to re-enter the cattle spread from previous weeks that we traded. Long August live cattle and short April feeder cattle; enter the spread between -1100/1075 and look for the spread to narrow exiting near -800.

After the close Friday, the USDA said that there were 65.389 million head of hogs on March 1st, down 2.7% from a year ago. The December to February pig crop was down 0.6% from a year ago, slightly more than expected. Pork production was estimated at 451.8 million pounds, down 1.9% from a year ago. June lean hogs lost 2.60 cents setting up a better long entry which we have suggested starting this week. We have multiple ideas in both futures and options but the bottom line is we are expecting higher prices.

Support is seen at 70.40 followed by the contract low near 69.50 with resistance at 72.50. We are expecting to see a trade up to 78.00 in the coming 30-45 days. See lean hog report from the previous week: The other white meat.

Continue Reading about Financials and Grains

Click Here for Pit Bull: Lessons from Wall Street’s Champion Day Trader

To find out exactly how we are positioning our clients in commodity futures and options,
Contact us today at 1-888-920-9997. Don’t forget to tell them The G Manifesto sent you.

To view our full commentary which includes the sectors of energies, livestock, currencies, financials, grains, softs, and metals, subscribe to our 4 week free trial by visiting this link: http://mbwealth.com/subscribe.html. Don’t forget to tell them The G Manifesto sent you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________Risk Disclosure: The risk of loss in trading commodity futures and options can be substantial. Before trading MB Wealth recommends that you should carefully consider your financial position to determine if commodity trading is appropriate for you. All funds committed should be purely risk capital. Past performance is no guarantee of future trading results. There are no guarantees of market outcome stated, everything stated above are our opinions. Calculations of profit and loss have not factored in commissions and fees.

Best South Beach Miami Hotel Pools

Click Here for Fool’s Paradise: Players, Poseurs, and the Culture of Excess in South Beach by Steven Gaines

Click Here to Buy Cocaine Cowboys

Click Here for The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics

1. Delano – Getting past security may be harder than scoring a table at Casa Tua on a Saturday night, but it’s well worth it. If waving to a pretend friend on the other side of the velvet rope fails, head to the bar; chances are, spenders will be welcomed. Plan your wardrobe around lounging; no one comes here for dipping.

2. The Shore Club – More modern than tropical, getting into this pool is fairly simple. No special trickery required. Put away your camera; shooting celebrities will get you kicked out.

3. The Setai – Access to this sought-after pool is doable from the outdoor restaurant by the boardwalk. Favorite among the Parisians and hip-hop moguls, Setai is “ze bomb.”

4. Mondrian Miami – Either the management is desperate or lost or both, but getting in is as easy as spotting fake boobage. Mondrian faces the bay, so be ready for jetskiers and their tranquil ways.

5. Flamingo – Technically not a hotel, but with the well-documented shenanigans, who know who pays for what at this notorious residential building. Pool area hosts frequent weekend parties rivaling the beach clubs.

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Not a bad list actually. Agreed on Delano #1. I have swooped too many fly girls there to disagree.

My personal #2 is thankfully not on the list, which will help keep it Tranquillo.

I am not going to say it either (as of now), in an effort to keep it Tranquillo.

Click Here for Fool’s Paradise: Players, Poseurs, and the Culture of Excess in South Beach by Steven Gaines

Click Here to Buy Cocaine Cowboys

Click Here for The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

2 Live crew – Mama Juanita

Belfast: Cars Burned, Roads Blocked

Click Here for The IRA

Click Here for Making Sense of the Troubles: The Story of the Conflict in Northern Ireland

Suspected IRA dissidents and their supporters hijacked cars Monday in working-class Catholic areas of Northern Ireland in a coordinated effort to block roads and threaten police stations, police said.

The Police Service of Northern Ireland said it was receiving a wave of reports of vehicles being hijacked by masked gunmen in several parts of Belfast and in the Kilwilkie district of Lurgan, a power base for Irish Republican Army dissidents southwest of Belfast.

Click Here for The IRA

Click Here for Making Sense of the Troubles: The Story of the Conflict in Northern Ireland

Some vehicles were being set on fire in roads to disrupt traffic at rush hour, while others were abandoned near four Belfast police stations and on Northern Ireland’s major motorway near Lurgan.

Police said they were treating all the abandoned vehicles as potential car bombs, although they cautioned this was unlikely. They urged motorists to avoid Kilwilkie and parts of Catholic west Belfast entirely.

Monday’s upheaval came at the end of a month in which IRA dissidents shot to death two soldiers and a policeman — the first killings of British security forces since 1998, the year of Northern Ireland’s peace accord.

Police said at least two cars were hijacked in Lurgan’s Kilwilkie district, the power base of suspected IRA dissident Colin Duffy. Duffy, 41, was charged last week with murdering the two soldiers.

Continue Reading

Click Here for The IRA

Click Here for Making Sense of the Troubles: The Story of the Conflict in Northern Ireland

Ireland, keep the peace.

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Peace in Northern Ireland

Joseph Cassano: The Big Takeover by Matt Taibbi

Click Here for The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion by Matt Taibbi

Click Here for Top Ten ways to Make Money in a Down Economy

I just finished this article by Matt Taibbi, its long, but worth reading on the real. There are very few writers on the internet that write long articles that are worth reading. Joshua Davis who wrote Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist Matt Taibbi, and myself.

Here is The Big Takeover:

It’s over — we’re officially, royally fucked. No empire can survive being rendered a permanent laughingstock, which is what happened as of a few weeks ago, when the buffoons who have been running things in this country finally went one step too far. It happened when Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner was forced to admit that he was once again going to have to stuff billions of taxpayer dollars into a dying insurance giant called AIG, itself a profound symbol of our national decline — a corporation that got rich insuring the concrete and steel of American industry in the country’s heyday, only to destroy itself chasing phantom fortunes at the Wall Street card tables, like a dissolute nobleman gambling away the family estate in the waning days of the British Empire.

Clipse – Big Dreams

The latest bailout came as AIG admitted to having just posted the largest quarterly loss in American corporate history — some $61.7 billion. In the final three months of last year, the company lost more than $27 million every hour. That’s $465,000 a minute, a yearly income for a median American household every six seconds, roughly $7,750 a second. And all this happened at the end of eight straight years that America devoted to frantically chasing the shadow of a terrorist threat to no avail, eight years spent stopping every citizen at every airport to search every purse, bag, crotch and briefcase for juice boxes and explosive tubes of toothpaste. Yet in the end, our government had no mechanism for searching the balance sheets of companies that held life-or-death power over our society and was unable to spot holes in the national economy the size of Libya (whose entire GDP last year was smaller than AIG’s 2008 losses).

Click Here for The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion by Matt Taibbi

So it’s time to admit it: We’re fools, protagonists in a kind of gruesome comedy about the marriage of greed and stupidity. And the worst part about it is that we’re still in denial — we still think this is some kind of unfortunate accident, not something that was created by the group of psychopaths on Wall Street whom we allowed to gang-rape the American Dream. When Geithner announced the new $30 billion bailout, the party line was that poor AIG was just a victim of a lot of shitty luck — bad year for business, you know, what with the financial crisis and all. Edward Liddy, the company’s CEO, actually compared it to catching a cold: “The marketplace is a pretty crummy place to be right now,” he said. “When the world catches pneumonia, we get it too.” In a pathetic attempt at name-dropping, he even whined that AIG was being “consumed by the same issues that are driving house prices down and 401K statements down and Warren Buffet’s investment portfolio down.”

I. PATIENT ZERO

The best way to understand the financial crisis is to understand the meltdown at AIG. AIG is what happens when short, bald managers of otherwise boring financial bureaucracies start seeing Brad Pitt in the mirror. This is a company that built a giant fortune across more than a century by betting on safety-conscious policyholders — people who wear seat belts and build houses on high ground — and then blew it all in a year or two by turning their entire balance sheet over to a guy who acted like making huge bets with other people’s money would make his dick bigger.

Click Here for The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion by Matt Taibbi

That guy — the Patient Zero of the global economic meltdown — was one Joseph Cassano, the head of a tiny, 400-person unit within the company called AIG Financial Products, or AIGFP. Cassano, a pudgy, balding Brooklyn College grad with beady eyes and way too much forehead, cut his teeth in the Eighties working for Mike Milken, the granddaddy of modern Wall Street debt alchemists. Milken, who pioneered the creative use of junk bonds, relied on messianic genius and a whole array of insider schemes to evade detection while wreaking financial disaster. Cassano, by contrast, was just a greedy little turd with a knack for selective accounting who ran his scam right out in the open, thanks to Washington’s deregulation of the Wall Street casino. “It’s all about the regulatory environment,” says a government source involved with the AIG bailout. “These guys look for holes in the system, for ways they can do trades without government interference. Whatever is unregulated, all the action is going to pile into that.”

Click Here to continue reading The Big Takeover by Matt Taibbi

Click Here for The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion by Matt Taibbi

Click Here for Top Ten ways to Make Money in a Down Economy

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Skull splitting rhymes:

The Clipse – “Numb It Down” [Road To Till The Casket Drops]