Michael Mason on: Facebook, iPhones, and Twitter
Michael Mason on: Facebook, iPhones, and Twitter
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Over the last six months or so, people have been constantly asking me things like: “Michael, what’s your thoughts on Facebook and Game?” and “Yo, G what is your take on the iPhone?” and drivel like, “Does an International Playboy Twitter?”
Here is my take:
Admittedly, I am a very low-tech person. Call me Miguel Analog instead of Michael Digital. But I do keep up with tech trends because I am friends with some Tech Crim Crews and they tell me I should open accounts on these things. (Here is my Facebook and Twitter)
In fact, I was happy with the days of pay phones.
Facebook, however has completely taken over nightlife with the rise of the Beta Male, Hipster and Wimpsters.
Every time you enter the club, cameras are going off like crazy. I have mentioned before how I always avoid “Party Pics”. For no other reason, that I cannot be placed in a certain place and a certain time. I may need to “snuff” someone after all. Or pull a Heist.
It is getting so ridiculous that the other night, I went to a wine bar opening and some “legendary” (I am using that term loosely here) Nightlife Photographer was trying to take a snap of me while I was trying to “Vicky Christina” these two fly girls. I quickly covered his lens and “accidentally” pushed the digi cam into his eye socket possibly a little too hard. (An accident, I swear).
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Young girls these days are snapping non-stop pictures in the club destined for Facebook. It seems like today’s youth is more concerned with documenting the night than actually enjoying it.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, the most popular drug this decade: Celebrity.
I wish we would go back to beeks and beans.
Young girls also can’t seem to shut up about Facebook. I swooped this ideal girl on paper (parents with long dough, half-latina, close to beautiful, feminine, crib on a cliff overlooking the beach in one of Southern California’s most exclusive beach towns etc), but I had to 86 her after hearing her and her friends yap about “de-friending” and “friending” and crap for an hour. It was painful. If I had some heron I would have snorted it.
Facebook has also given rise to a “Facebook Player” of sorts. Typically, some young Hipster/Wimpster that pitches girls all day long on Facebook while wearing a fedora.
Weesh.
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iPhones
Every time you have some kind of sitdown or meal with a bunch of cats, trying to conduct some biz, there is always at least one f$ckhead going on and on about how much he loves his iPhone.
And it is always an unsolicited conversation. “I love how functional the iPhone is!”, and “Check out this new app!” or “This touch screen is so responsive!”
Look you nonce, first of all, I didn’t ask you about your iPhone. Second, I change cell phones every month, so I typically buy some weesh one I can toss. And third, I don’t even really know what an “app” is.
Girls are always flicking around on their iPhone screen trying to show you some “Party Pics”, that I have no interest in.
Unless the girls are topless. Since civilian girls these days are as trampy as Exotic Dancers, they usually have mad top down photos.
I still don’t really understand Twitter. The way I look at it is if you were having a great time, you have no time to “tweat” or whatever it is called.
I am always busy and pulling dope moves, hence my minimal “tweatering”.
I typically spend my time getting fitted for custom suits, peeling dollar bills till I get paper cuts, huffing jacks, wacking down steaks, gulping vino tinto, kicking up my hand made loafers at the RaceTrack, Entering The Dragon, chilling Ringside, swooping mad fly girls or taking bolt cutters to rivals.
Wait, I am starting to confuse myself.
Either way, you wouldn’t be twittering if you were swooping a fly girl like this:
And I do. So I don’t.
Very much.
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The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Wale – Say It Again (Prod. 9th Wonder)