The G Manifesto

Hotel Review : The Delano Hotel, Miami Beach

Whenever I go to South Beach, The Delano is the first stop I make. Its ground zero. Sure its not 1997 or 1998 (way before MTV got a hold of the place and ruined a great thing) but the floor to ceiling white drapes billowing in the tropical breeze are as welcoming as ever. The Delano will always hold a special place in my heart, how could it not, I have swooped mults Model girls out of here and bagged and wrapped more O’s that a box full of Apple Jacks.

Atmosphere:

Again, it’s not the South Beach Renaissance, when It was Models, Murder and Mayhem but the white décor here stands the test of time. It has always reminded me of A Clockwork Orange meets the Tropics, which is a good thing in my book. Although I think he has made some missteps in recent outings, Philippe Starck earned G Manifesto Certified Status for his design on this spot. Ian Schrager is obviously G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame. A true innovator in the purest sense of the word.

Rooms:

Small and Spartan, but who cares? I have never been overly concerned with desk space for a laptop when I am sharing it with a naked Model Chick from Budapest.

Competition:

I always think the competition in South Beach is formidable. It is not paper thin like Hollywood as a comparison. You never know when your going to run into some Cartel guys from Dagestan (former republic of the Soviet Union, to those of you who don’t know the first thing about The East) who are veterans of the Narcotic and Caviar Wars of that region. Always pack Ninas. I like going with a Vintage Ruger just because it goes nicely with a lot of the lighter weight suits I tend to wear in South Beach.

Features:

The Pool at the Delano is on of my favorite pools in the world. I am still not sure I can verbally explain it. You just need to check it out and you will understand. The lobby is beautiful and gives you great opportunity to spit “Lobby Game”. I also love the faucets in the Lobby Bathroom. Inside tip: The faucets are a great gauge of how dope a place really is. The Blue Door Restaurant is mad overpriced, and the food isn’t that great, but you don’t expect an interesting, reasonably priced wine list of low-pro cult finds and great value Foie Gras at a place like this. If you are having dinner with a girl at The Blue Door, and you can’t swoop her, your problems obviously don’t end there. In fact, let me take her out and I’ll show you how it’s done. The Rose Bar is dope. You can be doing a lot worse than posting up here with a Goose and Soda. Great meeting point, temperature reading, and spark spot also (and I don’t mean Sparks Steakhouse in NYC either). The Agua Bathhouse Spa is first rate and its on the hotel’s roof. Great to use for a Spa Close. The Delano’s Gym is also good for Entering the Dragon.

The G Manifesto Move:

If cash is no object, get the Penthouse. Miami Beach is the kind of place where a ridiculous room really can pay for itself. If you are a G on somewhat of a Budget, go to the Delano early in the night. Spit some Lobby Game as you enter at the Girls in Short Skirts, maybe spit some Poisonous Darts at the table of eight girls at the Blue Sea Sushi spot to sharpen your game. Then post up at the Rose Bar and get a Goose. As long as you are Dressed sharp (Maybe something like a light Grey Paul Smith Two-button, with lavender pinstripes center vent, Cookie Monster Blue interior, Gucci shirt with a Grover Blue and Miss Piggy Pink Striped Gucci tie and loafers by I think Gucci) you should be able to generate some good leads. Roll by the pool and plan out your evening of Pleasure in South Beach…. Worst case scenario is that you will have Momentum on your side (no pun intended)…….The Rest is Up to You……………

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Your Favorite International Playboy’s Favorite International Playboy
AKA Your Favorite G’s Favorite G
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

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Sick Sample on Jim Jones “Summer with Miami”