The G Manifesto

Why you shouldn’t Valet Park your Car

This week we are going to address an email that was sent to The G Manifesto:

“I wanted to let you know that I love the G Manifesto and all your advice. I dont mean to disrespect you but it seems like all your advice is for people that have a lot of money. I want to get girls and be a G. I am young (19) and want to be like you so if you if you could tell me how to make some cash that would help. Thanks. John.”

Alright John. First of all, you can never be me. Second, Stay in School, study hard, take a corporate job, marry an ex-sorority girl that can’t cook and move to the suburbs. Do you really want the life of The G? Do you really want sleeping with beautiful women to seem mundane because it happens so frequent like flight mileage? (Actually, sleeping with beautiful women never gets mundane) But, do you really want to dodge bullets, deal with hit squads, experience betrayal, have friends sellout, avoid snitches, Cops, date models, Exotic Dancers, high-society blue blood girls, have mad cash flow, travel to beautiful locales, get treated like a king in nightclubs, Sushi Chefs giving you the best cuts of Toro, and have a wardrobe and gun collection that’s equivalent to most “successful” peoples net worth? Maybe you do. Either way I am not going to give you any advice, but I will tell a little story of what I did when I was younger and you can take from it what you will. Fair Enough?

When you are a typical 19 years old guy you don’t have many options for work or girls. No one is really going to hire you for 150k a year to come to the office every day. And no self respecting girl over 22 years old is going to date you. You need CASH or you are basically fu**ed. Here is what I did:

When I was young I got a Valet job at one of the hottest nightclubs in Hollywood. You know, Celebs, Actors, Actresses, Fly Girls, Playboys, Working class stiffs who wanted to be a part of it all etc. A perfect spot for a young up and coming Prototype G. So pay attention John, here is your Blue Print for Money Making:

Take over the Valet Stand

This very important. There will usually be some sort of hierarchy established already at most Valet Stands. You stage a Takeover like Jay-Z (just make sure you don’t get Ethered). You need to get rid of the top guy by any means necessary. Get the top guy fired if you need to. This is what I did: My Running Partner at time and I were hired the same day. I then proceded to tell the top guy who we will call “Shane” that we were taking over. Shane then told me to “f*** off”. So I dropped punches on him from all angles on him like Chuck “The Iceman” Lidell and finished him with my Signature, Six Punch Combo (Jab, Jab, Straight Right, Left hook to the body, Left hook to the head, Right hook to the head…gets them every time). In his defense, he was from somewhere like Irvine, California and I am from, well, The Streets so it wasn’t like we were in the same “weight class”. Plus, I think he was a Mormon or something (no offense to Mormons, but when was the last time you saw a Mormon on HBO PPV holding a belt above his head?). Now that we took over, my Running Partner and I were in charge of all the scheduling and we gave ourselves all the best shifts so we could Cake UP. Give the other guys the Sunday brunch shift where the walk with $45. Keep the Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat nights for you are your crew where you can split with 3 bills each.

Establish an Inner Circle

You need to create an Inner Circle of Valet guys who count, control and distribute the money. This way, you don’t have to split the cash evenly between all the workers. Lets say for instance there are 5 guys working on the night and $800 in tips to split up. Say three of you are in the “Inner Circle” and two are not. Give $200 in tips to each Inner Circle member and $100 to each guy outside the circle. Just that easy, you are making twice as much money as the next guy!

Learn Cars and who tips well

If you see a 60 year old cat roll up in a Sick Vintage GTO, let him know you will take care of him and give him a spot upfront. He might flip you a fifty. A 22 year old girl in a two door stick shift metallic purple Toyota Tercel is going to kick you a buck…..at best. Be wary of famous people. I parked Robin Leach’s ride(that jackass from “Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous” of all things) and he gave me $2! I wanted to grab the Louisville Slugger we kept at the Valet stand and destroy his ride, but my Running Partner stopped me. Who knows about how these young Hollywood actors tip today? My guess is they are cheap f***s. But then again, these days, it’s more likely that Ashton Kootchar chump would park my car than me parking his. (By the way, what is up with “young Hollywood” these days? What a collection of Fools. Every time I am partying in LA I can’t help but think how paper thin these guys are. I mean, come on, ripped jeans, dog tags, trucker hats, t-shirts ALWAYS with some gay design or writing on it, rings and bracelets? Weak. Not like I really care or give it much thought, but when someone finally wants to make a movie of my life, not one of these guys could play me on the big screen. Where are the DeNiro’s, Pacino’s, and Steven Bauer’s these days?)

Pretend like the Valet is full

This is a great hustle. Especially if you see some cat roll up fronting in a BMW with his girl. Tell him the lot is full but maybe you could make an exception if he takes care of you. He won’t want to seem like he is the cheap jerk like he really is in front of his chick. Good for a 20 plus every time. Make sure you exchange phone numbers with his girl when he is not looking. Guys like that just ask to get “knocked”.

Borrow the Fly Rides

One of the guys I worked with always took the NSX’s, Ferraris, and Porches for rides around town after the people entered the club. I personally liked the vintage Muscle Cars, Cadillacs and occasionally the Lincoln’s with Suicide Doors (and I don’t mean Suits VS SuicideGirls either). I would cruise the cars to say hello to girls I was trying to swoop on so they could see me in different fly rides all the time. This doesn’t really help you make Scratch, but it does help you Pick up Girls.

Crash Cars

We used to crash and dent cars all the time. When you return them to the people leaving the club, just make sure the person drives off the lot. Once they drive off the property you are no longer liable. Know where to pull the car up that is not well lit so the person can’t see the scratch all the way down his Lamborghini Countach. You don’t want to pay for all the damage you caused out of your own pocket, trust me.

The Skim

Every Valet lot has some system with tickets or what ever to track how many cars are parked every night. This is to determine how much money goes to the Club or the Valet Company. What ever the system is find a way to make it seem like you are parking less cars. Re-use tickets, make phony tickets, etc. You are the one doing all the work and you should make the Lionshare. Skim.

Swipe Pocket Change

Every car you park has at least a dollar in change in the ashtray. No one is going to miss it. Lets say you park 180 cars during a six hour shift, make sure you take a dollar in change out of every car. Who cares if the change is jingling in your pocket all night as you run around parking cars, you just increased your hourly pay rate by $30 an hour!

Swipe Drugs

If you are working at the right Nightclub/ Restaurant, plenty of Cars will have drugs in them. If a Mortgage Broker Type Guy pulls up in a Jaguar (actually, make that a two door weak BMW), “decent” girl in tow and they both have white rings around their nostrils, you better inspect the ride. When you park the ride, rifle thru the glove compartment, under the seat, and the center console. You will score. And it’s not like the guy is going to start yelling “Who took my Coke?!!!” when he realizes it’s gone. But know where the limits are. For instance, if an Asian Guy in a SharkSkin Issey Miyake Suit that looks like Brandon Lee, koi fish tattoos creeping up his neck, rolls up strapped in some Crazy Japanese Sports car with a super hot Asian Girl, “Blak Drgn” on his license plate, and you search his ride and find 20 kilos of heroin, you might not want to take it. Its up to you.

Deal Drugs

You have a perfect built in, ready made, supreme clientele (and I don’t mean that dope Ghostface album either). Other Valets, Club cocktail Waitresses, bartenders, Chefs, sous chefs, promoter guys, and bouncers all want drugs. Plus, a lot of the drugs you are getting are free. If you are working at the right spot, you should get solicited about 30 times a night for drugs by customers. I swooped some well known Actors girlfriends in those days because I was flipping, and the Actor guy thanked me for hooking them up after our transaction! Make sure you have it all; grass, beans, beeks, etc.. Start bankrolling other Valets. Who cares if you get fired? It is just a Valet job! Just make sure you save a little for a good Criminal Defense Attorney. (I am not certain, but I think the government doesn’t agree with some of this stuff…check your local laws). Who would have thought you could make $124,800 a year parking cars?! Tax free. Not bad for a 19 year old.

Lessons to be Learned for People who want to Valet their cars:

1. Never Valet your car

2. If you Really have to Valet your car, Never leave anything in it of value i.e. Guns, CASH, Drugs, uncut Emeralds, etc…

3. Always check your car before pulling away. (Unless you stole the car in the first place, which is the only circumstance that I will Valet)

4. Never Valet your car….

Keep in mind, there are a hundreds of us just like me, who cuss like me, dress sharp like me, walk, talk, act like me, might be the next best thing, but not quite me. The Rest is Up to You………………

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Yeti
AKA Snow Man
The BluePrint for Money Making
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Off The Books….Beatnuts, Big Pun (Rip), Cuban Link……

Street Game…It’s kinda like The Crack Game

“Yo she took me out my stinkin’ Asics, to the pinkest bracelet
Face it, the basics, no way you could think I’m racist
Got a white girl, tell you that she’s quite thorough
Borough to borough, move me through this white world (from what?)
From Columbia, then she moved to Canada
Now she live in Harlem, right, and you could say I manage her
Met her in ’90, Jeru was the Damaja
I wasn’t understanding her, that everyone was a fan of her
That was confusing her, they was abusing her
That wasn’t new to her, bought me a Luger brah
Of course, of course, never had intercourse
Of course, of course, without her wouldn’t of been a boss
I would flip for my mama, got me getting them commas (get it?)
Paid for my 1st va-kay, a trip to Bahamas (YES!)
Swam in the ocean, I was ditching pirannas
That’s my girl girl, yup, so give her some honor”

Solid wordplay and metaphors By Cam’ron on “White Girls” (I met her in ’88…)

Cam’ron – Rush Rush (Get tha Yayo)

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Street Game is the ability to Swoop girls “cold” off the street, Cold. Many people think that because I am so effective at swooping girls in Nightclubs, Gentlemans Clubs, and High-End restaurants, that my skills are limited to those spots. In actuality, Street Game is the Foundation of all my Game. Many players today, lack a good Street Game foundation. You will often see West Coast Players lacking good Street Game Style. (Too much time spent in Cars not enough time on Corners).

History

Back in the Day when I was a younger Prototype G, my crew was involved in the Powder Game. The Barons in our neighborhood didn’t let us “Shovel Snow” in our hood so we went to a neighborhood that was neutral turf. This was a great neighborhood, lots of clubs restaurants, college jerkoffs, Snow Bunnies, professionals, etc. Business was good. We were like some kind of Powder Get fresh crew and we primarily worked the clubs. We were Snow Men on the Rise. We had fools who couldn’t feel their faces. SnowBlind. Puro. There was another crew that worked the side streets, alleys, and parking areas. They were the Crack Rock Crew. Both crews co-existed in a very delicate balance. We worked the clubs they worked the Streets. As the streets heated up, both crews were pushed to the brink until it was like two Scorpions in a Bottle. I had to negotiate a treaty with their leader who we will call “Jaheed”. After the treaty was settled I became good friends with Jaheed, a true Prince of the Streets. He truly worked the streets, the streets didn’t work him. He had mad style and an ill crew behind him from Muscle to runners to lookouts. He had his Game, his Cain, his Cane, and his limping together. Peeled shortys right off the Ave. I often used to chill with him on his stoop and philosiphize about The Game. It was in these days that I was working on perfecting my Street Game which is very similar to The Crack Game.

The Post Up

You need to have the proper post up. You need confidence, swag, sway and presence. Ready for anything. You need to be aware of your surroundings. Like the flipper is aware of customers and Five-O, you as the G need to be aware are girls in every direction. Be creative with your post ups. Maybe post up by a Ferrari and pretend its yours. Post up on the street near a College, a girls Clothing strore, a Modeling Agency, or around the beach. Very important to protect your turf. Dark parking garages are obviously terrible places for Street Game. Too Scary. High-End shopping districts are the best. Madison Avenue in NYC, M Street and Wisconsin Ave in DC, Avenue Foch and Avenue Montaigne in Paris, Rodeo and Melrose in LA, Bond street and Regent Street in London, Shibuya in Tokyo, The Magnificent Mile in Chicago, Grafton Street in Dublin, Recoleta in Buenos Aires, Bloor Street in Toronto, Las Mercedes in Caracas, Passeig de Gracia in Barcelona, Via Montenapoleone in Milan and Via Mazzini in Verona. I scuffed my tim’s on many International streets. And I have done it like Penny and Anfernee…The Hardaway…..

Style

Style always wins over technique. Just like with Graffiti Burners. Resort Style is always good. Wife beaters and winter beaters were king in the mid 90’s (and I am not talking about TI’s album KING either) depending on the weather. Also Tims, baggy jeans , Helly Hansen jackets, and G-Town Jerseys were chainsaws in the Shower for Street Game in those days. Today, Sneakers like BAPE Stas, BAPE, BBC, Ice Cream Sneakers, Black SB’s could be fresh if you’re a young and up and coming prototype G. Planet of the BAPES. I consider Nigo a contemporary and a peer. You want to seem like you have dough (even if you don’t). If your twisting Caine you want to seem successful. Same thing if your Street Gaming Girls. You want to look fresh. It’s like marketing. I prefer a custom tailored Dior Homme Suit by Heidi Slimane with a Blood Red Duncan Quinn shirt (black cuff interior) blown open with pearl cufflinks and Prada loafers. Mad Rakish.

Smoking

Very important. Show me someone who does not smoke, and Ill show you some that hasn’t mastered Street Game. One, smoking makes you look like you are doing something. Two, Smoking Cures boredom between strikes. Three, Smoking give girls an excuse to talk to you and ask you for a smoke or a light. Four, it looks cool as f***. If your somersaulting Pebbles or Snowballing you want to seem like you are doing anything but somersaulting Pebbles or Snowballing….Right?

Reactions

When you are spitting Street Game, you need to have quick reactions. Talk to every girl that rolls by. If you don’t you are going to be kicking yourself that you didn’t. And if you wait too long it will you can seem kind of shady and un-natural. Make Heads-up plays. A Model girl dropping her portfolio book is a perfect time to strike. Approach quick. The Brick Pitcher has to have quick reactions also. Always has to watch out for Homicide, DEA, Swat Cops, Squalie, turncoat Snitches and murderous rival crews. If you’re slow at Gunplay you don’t get to play slow.

Vibe

You want to give off a non-threatening vibe when you spit Street Game at girls. Smiles, happiness, you are having the best day ever, etc. You don’t want to be intimidating at all. This is not the same Vibe that you throw out when you are robbing a Underground Poker Game full of Pimps (and when I say “Pimps” I mean Pimps in the Urban sense, like a guy who makes money by putting girls to work on the AVE, you know, Goon Hands, Cadillacs, fresh vines, icy demeanor, and heated coat hangers and such. Not “pimps” in a Suburban sense, like some skippy who gets girls every now and then, hair gel, 2 Door BMW’s Banana Republic Gear, Humor from Will Ferrell movies, corner cubicle, and the “coolest” guy in the office). And its not the same Vibe that you use to Extort some scumbag Pornographer either. Quite the opposite. The Fiend Leaner has to throw out a Vibe that is not soft but not too hard that the Lawyer in the Lexus is too scared to cop rocks. Jaheed was a master of the Vibe.

Numbers

When your floating Street Game your goal should be to Number Crunch. And think volume. You want to move “product”. Street Numbers also have a high conversion rate. I have done an unofficial Case Study and I have found out that Street Numbers convert at a much higher rate than say Nightclub Numbers. You want stacks and stacks of Numbers. The Street Pharmacist Needs to move Volume as well and also wants stacks and stacks. He needs to stay on the grind like clockwork. Keep that block work rolling. Fiends buying like clockwork. Hotter blocks are the best.

Street Game Close

The Rosetta Stone of Street Game is you need to pitch a lot of girls and don’t hesitate. You are always going to run into girls that are clueless and faithful to their dorky boyfriends. Those are not the girls you really want anyway. (News just in, girls that date dorks are dorks themselves. These types of girls don’t really make good sparing partners, are going to be relentless about hassling you for smoking cigarettes, will say that everything is like “So Random” like 500 times in an hour, and best case scenario they are going to think you are a complete psycho). After a good Number Crunching section look for a girl you can close. Always pitch a girl for some future date i.e. “Lets go to (insert shitty nightclub that she thinks is “really cool”) for my friends birthday party, Vip, DJ Zero Skillz, Bottle Service, blah, blah, blah, it doesn’t really matter, just get her number. It doesn’t even have to be a real gig.

Once you can pick up a girl off the Street and swoop her to a hotel (or yours or her crib) within 45 minutes of saying “Hello, do you have a light? Thanks. My name is Michael Mason…..” consider yourself a black belt at Street Game. Just so you know, I am Black Belt Seventh Degree…..The Rest is Up to You…….

Email of the week (un-edited) in regards to: Platinum Diggers

“Dear Champ,

Nice write up testicles tingle. I love gold diggers as well, especially on their backs. Although one of my mortgage broker friends was in Vegas and got hustled for his high end rollie by a couple of strippers whom he thought he was going to get a fresh tossed salad from. I was in Bel Air this weekend after reading your Manifesto all tipped over on exotic beans from Morocco and I met this high end actress who thought my game was tight. She proceeded to tell me what she expects out of her men, I made up more stories than Walt Disney about my net worth and houses across the world (I think I even convinced her I had a 3000 sq foot ocean front villa on Mars at one point), got her drunk of Dom and popped it in her pooper at 3am, stole her purse and some jewelry and just sold it on Ebay for a half a stick. The life of G couldn’t be better, all thanks to you Champ!!!”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Yeti
AKA Snow Man
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Grandmaster Flash – White Lines

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

The Smugglers Blues

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

“Pyrex Stirs turned into Cavalli furs
The full length cat, when I wave, the kitty purs
All my niggaz caped up, selling grey and beige dust
Had that money right or end up in the trunk taped up
We don’t chase a duck, we only raise the bucks
Peel money rolls until our thumbs get the papercuts

Wanna know the time? Better clock us
Niggaz bite the style from the shoes to the watches
We cloud hoppers, tailored suits like we mobsters
Break down keys into dimes and sell ’em like gobstoppers”

(Sick lyrics from “Me too” by Pusha T and Malice from Clipse featuring Pharrell, G Manifesto Certified Track of the Week)

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

People are constantly saying to me, “How do you have the CASH to cruise around the world, stay out all night, date models and live the Charmed life of an International Playboy? Great question. Everyone seems to be strapped for cash these days. Everyone seems to be a few dollars short on the lunch bill. Go to a dinner with ten people? Better not be the last around the check or your going to get stuck for a grip. Everyone is forgetting to tip their waiter these days. Who knows what it is? Gas prices? Credit Card Juice payments? Overleveraged on exotic mortgages? (as a rule of thumb go with exotic girls, not exotic mortgages)

The G Manifesto is going to deal with some of these issues. A true G doesn’t really have a lot of these problems. Gas Prices? I make CASH off rising gas prices by buying “calls” in the Commodity Markets (in fact, if the cost is going down I by “puts”. I don’t really care which way the market moves as long as I am on the right side of the trade.) Credit Cards? Don’t use them. I use CASH. Mortgages? I can’t stand real estate people. I pay CASH for cribs and get them out of my life as quickly as possible. So “..Where do you get the money?…” Again, Great question. Here is one answer:

I was having a conversation recently with one of my childhood friends (who shall remain nameless) over dinner at The Restaurant, Alex in Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas. (By the way Alex is really first rate. Alex Stratta really knows what he is doing, if you need to make sure you get a good table, you can drop my name, I am easy like that, but that is neither here nor there.) My friend, who is a first rate G, put simply, is a Smuggler. He is a true legend in two games like Pee Wee Kirkland. He has really none of the cash flow problems that most Americans have. He has a closet full of custom Italian suits, dates models, travels tons, lives the life of an International Playboy, and most important, he is liquid. (I would be lying if I didn’t say that my tie collection is far better than his, but in his defense he doesn’t roll ties too often and usually opts to go “blown open”). Being a Smuggler is a tricky job where like Big Daddy Kane said “Ain’t no half stepping”. You really need to go “all in” like Johnny Chan at the World Series of Poker. The upside is you can take all the vacation time you want and you don’t have to fill out any forms during a job interview. There is also excitement, challenge, adventure, and tons of Scratch. For the type G personality, this job is like Nirvana (and I am not talking about that early 90’s band where the guy shot him self and left his head all red like that little orphan Annie either). I figured I would share some of the highlights of our conversation on the Keys to being a Smuggler and the similarities with being a G. (keep in mind I have never been involved in this line of work, but I have worked for a Import/ Export company that was based out of Miami, so draw your own conclusions.)

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

It really doesn’t matter what you Smuggle; Columbian Beaks or Dutch Beans, Croatian Cigarettes or Cuban Cigars, Russian Heaters or Panamanian Platinum, Sierra Leone Diamonds or Sri Lankan Sapphires, its all about not paying tariffs (avoid human smuggling and sex trade smuggling, leave that to the Snake Heads). The basics are the same.

1. Data gathering, planning and Execution. These are really the cornerstones for the Smuggler G. You have to know what you’re doing and really visualize the mission going down the right way. Glass half-full type stuff. Very similar to Components of a Magical Night.

2. Always work in a small team. This again is very similar to a night out for the G. Never allow anyone in your crew that you haven’t known for a minimum of 5 years. Don’t bring anyone “along for the ride” either. Every person must have a function. Pilots, Mechanics and Boat Captains are worth there weight in gold (and I don’t mean Solid Gold that Gentleman’s Club in North Miami Beach). Same thing when you go out at night. You don’t want to bring some skippy along for a major heist who isn’t gonna pull his weight with CASH, connections, juice, on the fly ideas… etc.

3. Have a reliable Source Man. This is one of the most important aspects. I can’t even comprehend how many times I have heard my friend say “no product, no money”. The Source Man needs to get the loads prepared, make sure the landing strips are legit and make the payoffs. It’s not unlike knowing the Doorman and VIP host at a nightclub. You need someone to really take care of you. You don’t want the VIP host to give away your table just because some jackass Actor guy rolled into the spot, for instance.

4. Have good tools of the trade. Transportation (boats, planes), radar detection, and weapons (many old school smugglers swear against weapons….my friend always brings a Desert Eagle for rival crews…who am I to argue with him?). Also, my friend dresses sharp when he smuggles. He has a penchant for Valentino and Roberto Cavalli suits and Gucci Loafers. It’s important to look smooth when you’re smuggling if you want to be the best.

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

5. Always use aliases. When you’re a Smuggler, you have to do everything with fake identification (remember all this is illegal, although it has been around since government imposed taxes). Its also standard practice for a G to use Aliases when he is in any city for any extended period of time. With the amount of girls that I know and date, it’s imperative that I use fake names. Dating four girls at the same that work at the same nightclub is nearly impossible without the use of Aliases. Hell, I’ve dated two sisters at the same time by using aliases…true story. The key is you have to be careful when one sister says “You have to meet my sister, you and her will get along so well……” I was really surprised a few years later, when I saw both of them at the same time in a Nightclub. But, I was smooth enough to convince them that I had an identical twin brother…..

6. Getting the product In-country. The main thing to figure out is if you are going to do it by boat or by plane. My friend prefers plane. This is similar to when you are going to a dope nightclub. You need to figure out if you are going to pay your way in, talk your way in, or use the back or side door. In smuggling however, you can vanish (and I don’t mean Vanishing Pinstripes on my new Etro suit….thanks Kean) if you don’t pay off the right people.

7. Making the transaction. The best way is to already have a buyer for your product. You don’t want to be sitting on product and negotiating and crap. This will only expose you to potential problems and gets you in closer contact with people you want no part of. This differs from when you roll out at night. It’s more fun to “wheel and deal” with girls at the spot than to have something already set up. If it’s already set up, what’s the point of going out in the first place? Better off settling into a Super Tuscan or California Cult Cabernet and some Goat Cheese Raviolis, and Carpaccios or some Squid Ink Linguine. Or a lamb filet and côtelette, ratatouille, goat cheese liquid, pommes Briana and thyme essence with a Snow Bunny.

Obviously, you have to deal with many more aspects to be a Top Ranked Smuggler, like Rinsing Money (we will handle in a later installment of The G Manifesto), dealing with snitches, people flipping, hideouts, and cool out periods. This should be enough to get you started for now, those credit card juice payments can be a real pain. The Rest is Up to You……………

Emails of the week from Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes:

“I couldn’t close a screen door before reading this and after studying each line after receipt I popped my turtle into 2 skanks this weekend fresh out of Stingaree rolling on beans.
You have a fucking aura about you Kizer, I am bitch slangin’ male gigolo now. I picked up a nickel plated Eagle a few weeks ago and keep that in the inner pocket of my Baby Blue Armani custom fitted. I am jet broke right now, but looking to pull off a heist soon. I hope we don’t butt heads at the same bank, going against a legend is a scary thought.”

and

“For those that are not skilled in the science of the “close” this was a real eye opening article. For so many years I tried to be the nice guy and if it happened it happened. I saw these beautiful women hanging out with skinny white kids with wrinkly shirts from Tahoe pulling bar snacks out of their pocket and I just didn’t get it. I took your words to the streets, to the hilltops and to the nightclubs and to my amazement they worked. Another great life changing article Mr. Mason. I don’t think the average person understands the gems that are found in your wisdom. This is like studying Martial Arts from Master Azato or Master Itosu. It’s one of life’s opportunities that only come around every thousand years. I’m sure that some just push the G Manifesto aside as the misogynistic ramblings of a mad man but there is real genius to it if one has the patience to read between the lines. Master Mason I am forever indebted.”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Moon Curser
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Mr. Me Too by Clipse featuring Pharrell Williams

Mr. Me Too – Clipse featuring Pharrell Williams

How to Get the Girl of your Dreams

This week we are going to address an email that was sent to The G Manifesto:

Email:

“First of all, I wanted to say I love the G Manifesto, and I read it all the time. I really think it’s the best thing going out there and I really owe you a lot, Mr. Mason and I think you are the greatest. I hope one day to be the G that you are. Here is my problem: I have met the girl who I have waited all my life for and we are in love. She is beautiful, young, and very intelligent. She and I are madly in love. The bad part is that she is a mistress for a very rich married older man in town. He pays for everything for her and even bought her a condo. She wants to be with me but says the rich guy would never allow it. Please give me advice, how do I get the girl that I love? I know your extremely busy, but please help me! Pete”

First off, Pete, lets stop with all the flattery. I know where I am at, and I don’t need some guy telling me how great I am. And what do people think this is? An advice column? Ok, I actually will help you, Pete, by telling you a story of how I handled a similar situation when I was younger. I really liked this girl, “Bianca” (we will call her), who was a mistress to an extremely rich captain of industry. He was married to an unattractive women, had kids, and now that he was rich, I guess, he felt he could enjoy the “fruits of his labor” by keeping a young beautiful mistress. A timeless story. So pay attention, skippy, and listen to how to solve your problem, G Manifesto Style……….

The first move that I did was to pay a visit to this rich older guy, who we will call “Stanley”. The key to meeting the guy was to really tone down my whole act; no suits, no flash, seem very polite, resist any temptation to spark up a smoke in his office and appear very innocent. Believe me, this is not easy routine to pull for a guy like me. Stanley, appeared exactly how I imagined him, an older weakling rich guy corporate jerk that probably got to the top by stepping on everyone he met. I then proceeded to tell Stanley about how Bianca and I were in love and wanted to get married and raise a family (this was all part of the act, I did like the girl, but even when I was younger I had enough sense not to get married). I told him about how we appreciated all he had done for her; given her money, bought her clothes, bought her an apartment in the city, etc. But I told him that true love could not be denied and I just wanted to be up front with him.

Stanley did then exactly what I thought he would. He immediately called Bianca and asked her to verify everything I said. She very emotionally told him that we were in love and we wanted to be together. Stanley then took the “man to man” approach that I knew he would. Being a very successful business guy, who is used to getting his way, he started to interrogate me. He asked me, “What kind of background do I come from? What is my family like? How will I be able to support Bianca and give her a good life?” I told him that I came from a family of modest means but we had come on hard times and I had a little sister that needed a life saving surgery. I also said that I was trying to find work and my family would pull through. (Actually at the time I was doing really well financially through Amsterdam connections and I don’t even have a little sister).

Being a smart Business man, I knew Stanley would hone in on my financial “weakness”. He told me that he would help me with my family “crisis” if only I would stay away from Bianca forever. He said I was young and life would go on and he would give me a great opportunity to help my ailing sister. “How could you do that, sir?” I responded. Stanley said he would give me $30,000 cash if I would just walk away. I then put on the best poker face of my life up until that point, and acted hurt that love could be bought with money. I contemplated it long enough for him to up the “pay off” to $40,000 (keep in mind this was during the recession in the early 1990’s, today I would crack the guy for way more scratch). I acted hurt but took the freshly scribbled check for 40 G’s from Stanley and agreed I would stay away from Bianca.

My next step was to cash the check. Once the check cleared, I returned to Stanley’s office only this time with two of my childhood friends from the neighborhood that could put fear into almost anyone. Both of them started doing “collections” at age 16 and had been very ambitious ever since. I also changed the way I dressed when I entered his office. If I recall correctly, I was wearing a Black 3 button Kiton suit with Black Zegna shirt and a grey and Black Armani tie with a grey and black Canali pocket square. I mean, my suit alone could have knocked this guy out. I then proceeded to tell Stanley about how he needed to stay away from Bianca or my friends would take care of him even before his wife would find out. Stanley almost had a coronary. I could hardly feel bad for his misfortune.

As “luck” would have it, I got the apartment, the money, and the girl. Not bad for a Wednesday. As for Bianca and I? Ended up not working out. So Pete, let me know how it all turns out for you, The Rest is Up to You……………………

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

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