Check it:
11) Slaughterhouse 90210
Slaughterhouse 90210 combined lowbrow TV screencaps with highbrow literary quotes, making it kind of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups of Tumblr blogs. Another comparison: an intellectual I Can Has Cheezburger. Seeing a quote from, say, The Bell Jar underneath a Friends screencap is pleasantly shocking — especially after you realize the quote fits the show perfectly — and a reassurance that it’s okay for smart people to like stupid things. Could be a good candidate for a book deal, if it weren’t for those pesky copyright issues. (See also: The G Manifesto and Fuck Yeah Subtitles.)
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Here are the 2nd G Manifesto Awards. The 1st G Manifesto Awards, are here: The G Manifesto Awards, The Best of 2007. I missed 2008 as I was busy swooping girls and had a little street War to contend with at the time. (Also check out the Outlook for 2008, where I was like the Nouriel Roubini of this Game s*it, of sorts).
Again, these Awards are places or things that I have been to or experienced in 2009. So don’t get itchy if your local nightclub in Cleveland doesn’t make the list.
Best Comeback City: New Orleans. My love affair with New Orleans is well documented. This year was the first year since Katrina where the swagger seemed to return. Do as a G does; visit often and drop CASH.
Best High-Action City: Tijuana, Mexico. I wouldn’t exactly call it a love affair with Tijuana, but I have spent mad time there and turned mad dollars there. The place is actually a lot safer now than the papers would lead you to believe.
Best Day Game City: Buenos Aires. The volume of fly girls for Street Game makes it hard to ignore.
Best Beach Locals: The Somali Pirates. These guys made the boys from The North Shore and The Bra Boys seem tame. They made mad dough, raged hard, protected their coast, swooped mad girls and even caused real estate bubbles in other countries. Hell, I have been seriously considering rolling down there and joining the fun. I wonder if there are some un-crowded points to be had to the brain?
Best International Restaurant: Restaurante Arzak in San Sebastian. Spain is really kicking out the best grinds right now. And Restaurante Arzak is top rank. I am frothing at the mouth thinking about it. Will be there again in May.
Best US Restaurant: Galatories. The best goddamn restaurant in America. I love how they even make President’s wait for a table.
Me?
I get top tier service.
Honorable Mention: Gramercy Tavern. I have to include this spot because of the first class treatment, pro-bono wine pours and the sweet breads. Nothing about it the meal was “so-so”, more like “fabuloso”. Additionally, I was politicking with this fly chick and digging her moves because she smooth and she choose to pay dues.
Best International Hotel: Four Seasons Hotel George V, Paris, France. Decadence since 1928. I really like the indoor pool surrounded by tromp l’oeil murals of the Versailles gardens.
Best US Hotel: The Waldorf Towers, New York. The one bedroom Grand suites with the separate entrance are style and elegance defined. They are not cheap (about 5k), but they really do pay for themselves.
Best Fight: Juan Manuel Marquez VS Juan Diaz. Marquez proves once again how he is The G in a come from behind devastating knockout of an 80’s baby.
Most Masterful Performance: Floyd Mayweather, Jr. VS Juan Manuel Marquez.
Best Blog: Roissy in DC. I would have said The G Manifesto, but that would have seemed rigged, right? In all seriousness, Roissy kicked out gem after gem almost every day of the year and truly transcended.
Best Forum: RooshV Forum. If you like traveling and swooping fly foreign girls, then this is your forum.
Best Hip-Hop Track: I Hate My Job, Cam’ron. Nothing captured 2009 better than Cam’s “recession rap” track when most American’s were coming out with a pitiful rookerful of money.
Funny too.
Ayo I’m lookin’ for a job, ain’t nobody hiring,
Then I ask the boss, “when y’all doin’ firing?”
Great sample from Barbara Mandrell’s “Sleeping Single In A Double Bed”.
Best Break out Hip-Hop Artist: No, not Asher Roth or Drake. It’s Black Milk. “Losing Out” was enough to do it.
Best Soul Track and Album: Maxwell – Pretty Wings and BLACKsummers’night. The cat was gone for eight years. No wonder this decade was terrible. Come to think of it, anyone seen D’Angelo?
Woman of The Year: Ashley Alexandra Dupré. It is truly amazing how this girl has kept her mouth shut (so to speak) for the entire year. She deserves all the props in the world, and a shining beacon of hope for her self-absorbed peers of her generation.
Honorable Mention: Sonia Sotomayor
G of the Year: Joaquín Guzmán Loera. No one did it bigger in 2009 than “El Chapo”. Untouchable like Elliot Ness. Hell, he even came in at #701 on Forbes’ list of richest people in the world with an estimated net worth of $2 billion. A low estimate if I have ever seen one.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
If you are me, you make a bunch of sandwiches, throw them in a backpack, head to the roughest neighborhood in city and hand them out to the homeless. Custom Suited Down, of course. Smoking street grits for maximum style points.
Giving back to The People. People’s Champ Style.
I actually do this type of stuff periodically. I don’t talk about it much, because I am not looking for any “credit”, but I thought it would be a good idea to let the Younger G’s out there know how to get down.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Lately, I have been just slipping, sliding, gliding, lowriding and realizing.
When I wrote Orange County’s Top Bachelor, it reminded me on how many of these media “hype machine” created “players” I have defeated over the years.
Musicians, Actors, and Athletes have not been spared. I have named some names (re-read The G Manifesto) but for me to rip the lid off, a publisher has got to come at me like they came at Gary Vaynerchuk. 7 figs min.
Hell, with all the noteworthy scalps I have, I was mildly shocked that Time Magazine didn’t ring me up for Person of The Year, instead of Ben Bernanke.
Maybe they don’t have my cell (I do change numbers very frequently, and I am thinking seriously of ditching cell phones all together).
But that’s neither seared foie gras on the menu or a fly Nightlife Princess to attend to.
To kick it real, I have probably done more good for the economy than Bernanke. I have dropped heavy dough this year on fast living, fast women and umm, fast women. The rest I just squandered.
The more that I think about it though, I have been spending CASH in “emerging markets”; that is on swooping fly foreign girls.
So, even though Bernake is setting us up for even worst economic failure. I guess he can have the award.
Because, it’s like that, you know it’s like that, I got at him, now you never get your girl back.
All jokes aside, Manny Pacquiao should have won “Person of The Year”.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
It was only a matter of time before Tiger got his hip-hop shouts. Thanks to T over at http://therawness.com/ for putting me up on the track.
“It’s funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on the screen.” – Alex
First off, what do we even call this decade? The zeros? The Aughts? The New Millennium? Secondly, this decade had a terrible start. Most people forget that we had two Wall Street Crashes during this decade. The NASDAQ hit an all-time high of 5049 on March 10, 2000. Peep it today.
Then we got wacked by 9/11.
This was followed by a retarded war in Afghanistan, a farce in Iraq, Enron, a stupid hick in The White House, WorldCom, Anthrax, and DC snipers, the Terminator getting elected, Hurricane Katrina, Asian Tsunami of 2004, median household income dropping, obesity skyrocketing, police state, more terrorist attacks, school shootings, Detroit, and another financial crash.
Weesh.
These are all pretty bad, but here are the Top 10 Reasons why this was the worst Decade ever:
Hip-Hop
Hip-Hop had its worst decade yet. The cats putting out the best music this decade were the same cats from the 90’s. Jay, Nas, Wu, Mobb Deep, AZ, Eminem, etc. Is there any doubt that Biggie and Tupac would have been the biggest stars out there today if they didn’t pass?
Boxing
Boxing was afflicted (and I don’t mean those gay Affliction Shirts either) with the same disease as Hip-Hop: a rehashing of 90’s stars. De La, Trinidad, Vargas, Sugar Shane, Bernard, Arturo Gatti, Roy Jones etc. Where are the 80’s babies? The only two fighters that made huge trax in the New Millennium that didn’t in the 90’s were Manny Pacquiao and Money Mayweather (both 70’s babies).
We can all look forward to them fighting in 2010.
Hurricane Katrina
I could think of many better cities for a “natural disaster” to ruin than New Orleans. LA perhaps? Orange County, maybe?
We really don’t have that many great cities in America. Why did Katrina have to wreck one with great Gentleman’s Club’s, smoking in bars, 24 drinking and Crab Maison, Shrimp Maison, Shrimp Remoulade?
9/11
9/11 sucked for many reasons. But one of the main reasons it sucked was it turned plane travel into a major pain like Damon Wayans. And it was low down dirty even, like his brother Keenan, Scheming.
This really affects the International Playboy and anyone who likes to swoop mad fly girls all across the bubble.
George Bush
I still can’t believe we elected this hick twice.
Then I look at a map of our country and I understand.
Bruce Jenner
No one has captured the essence of this decade better than Bruce Jenner.
When I was born, there wasn’t a baby G in the land that didn’t think Bruce Jenner was cool. He was like a pseudo super hero. Sure, I liked Roberto Duran, Marvelous Marvin Hagler and Jim McMahon way more, but Jenner was smooth. Just recently, on a hungover day, I caught the cat on TV. I was shocked.
He is now a plastic surgery, tranny looking, beta male. Went from first to worst. Kind of like America.
No smoking
The “no smoking” movement really caught speed during this decade. Thousands of years of tradition of smoking, drinking and swooping fly girls flushed down the toilet.
And the craziest thing is the only one who seems to care is your humble author.
Reality TV
I don’t really care about television, but you have to see these annoying people when you roll out at night. Just like school on a holiday. Whatever happened to shows like All in The Family? And people with style and taste?
Men’s Style
Where do I even start on this one? Trucker hats, shiny shirts, multicolored striped shirts, designer jeans, rhinestones, Affliction, Ed Hardy, Christian Audiger, tight jeans, glitter?
Technology
The incredible efficiency of Web-based communication and our Google-fueled appetite to know everything about everything (or everyone) right now are combining to make Tiger Woods the canary in the privacy coal mine. Expect personal privacy — or rather its continued erosion — to be a hot media topic of 2010.
If I see another person “twittering” on their IPhone at a bar or trying to film, I am going to slap it out of their hand. And shove a rocks glass in their mouth. Word life.
All in all, what we did this decade is change Main Street for Wall Street, Mom and Pop for Wallmart, and small farms for Factory Farms.
To the ruin of us all.
Keep the toaster in the shoulder holster; things are going to get interesting.
America is in a bad need of a rebirth, a renewal, and a rediscovery.
(And by “bad need”, I mean like a person who has been hit over the head with a Louisville Slugger is in bad need of a band-aid, some ice and a nice lie down.)
An American Renaissance (if you will) will be the only thing that will save us.
(Or you can just split. I am posting this poolside from the Caribbean).
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
