Someone sent this to me a few days ago. Worth watching. Certainly better than anything on the tv, except maybe that Anthony Bourdain show or 24/7 Manny Pacquiao vs Antonio Margarito on HBO.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Seventh Letter
AKA Your favorite International Playboy’s favorite International Playboy
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
There are a lot of issues in the upcoming election: Jobs, Taxes, The Economy, (Lithium) Wars, Healthcare, Energy, Environment, Schools, National Security, Immigration, Veterans, Witches, Aqua Buddhas, Fascism, Puppet Politicians, Corporate Socialism, our “fake” Free Market, Nationalism, Foreign Military Bases, Freedom, Erosion of Human Rights, Money Junkies and Power Junkies that need a “hot shot”, Agflation, Modern day Wall Street Robber Barons, The Sell-off of America, Maintaining our Global “Empire”, Suppression of the Arts, Terrorism, disintegration of quality through corporations like Walmart, worthless College Diplomas, The Federal Reserve heisting the Middle Class through Inflation and transferring wealth to Wall Street, Cronyism, Corruption, and Weed to name a few.
The sad this is, no matter which political party wins big, we are all still screwed. (And we will continue to be until all political parties are abolished and the bloody heads of The Corporatocracy are hoisted up on pikes, but that is another story for another time).
This all being said, I make all my voting decisions on one issue.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Seventh Letter
AKA Your favorite International Playboy’s favorite International Playboy
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
“I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
It was a large bare warehouse room, dark and damp with concrete everywhere. It was difficult to say whether it was intended as a storage facility or a shipping and receiving area as it was dark and my vision was hazy as I started to come to.
There was a table in the centre under the alabasterine ceiling light with all types of power tools and other instruments of torture.
I sat, tied up, in an incongruous-looking throne-like chair in carved maple with a ripped blue velvet seat. My wrists were bound to the arms of the chair and my ankles to the legs of the chair. A rope was passed three times across my chest, under my armpits and through the back of the chair. I could barely move. The knots were tight with very little “give” in them.
I was a prisoner, completely defenseless.
Regardless, I still looked smooth in my Cookie Monster Blue Custom Suit with the interior so purple, you might have thought I was from Grape Street. And some gators from Barbados and I have never seen anyone else play those.
Four large Russians in leather jackets stood around me smoking jacks and drinking.
I struggled, chafing my swollen wrists and contemplating with myself how much energy I would waste by resisting.
One of the large Russians lit up a cigarette, picked up a mini sledge hammer and smashed my knee cap.
My whole body went into an excruciating spasm, as I screamed and my whole body knotted up and perspiration flowed down my face, dampening my Custom Suit.
I deeply groaned in pain, from a place in my body that I never knew existed, and all I could think of was having a cigarette.
Another of the large Russians, who seemed to be the leader, walked up to me and said, “Tell us where the money is, and we can put a stop to this unfortunate trouble you have gotten yourself into.”
I have no idea what the cat is talking about as the last thing I remember is a 19 year old Russian girl giving me a shot of Black Balsam in a nightclub earlier in the night. At the current moment, I was really regretting coming to Riga, Latvia as I felt reminded of my fast life ventures.
He then says, “If you are not going to talk, the Game is over. This is the end.”
The Russian then nods to the sledge hammer Russian, who picks up a Dewalt power drill and turns in on, drill bit whirling…
F*ck.
I have been having some trippy dreams on this trip.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Seventh Letter
AKA Your favorite International Playboy’s favorite International Playboy
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
“With most women his manner was a mixture of taciturnity and passion. The lengthy approaches to a seduction bored him almost as much as the subsequent mess of disentanglement.” – Ian Fleming
“If you catch me sexing a chick, its a bisexual chick or something foriegn, I’ll never forget” – Juelz Santana
I wake up feeling pretty brutalized, and contemplate pulling an Amsterdam Nap, as frustration, depression and suicidal thoughts start to consume me.
I shake those thoughts off, thankfully, and decide instead to Enter The Dragon, late in the Riga afternoon. During a jump rope session by the Daugava, little Latvian kids and some teenage girls stop to watch me in action. I can’t really blame them as they probably thought they were witnessing a young Roberto “Manos de Piedra” Duran in action.
The pseudo-Celebrity I am gaining in Riga, Latvia, bolsters my resolve and contemplate what I am going to do for the evening (Friday Night). After a shower, I go on a little reconnaissance to check out the nightlife scene, which, surprisingly, has been somewhat lackluster so far.
Friday night is definetly on in Latvia. The streets, bars and energy are heightened 10 fold compared to Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. Dope. I do notice that there are some sightings of the infamous, goofy “Stag Parties” I have been warned about. But nothing that can’t be overcome.
Now, I am caught in a classic dilemma after two nights of raging till 6 am:
– Should I pack it in early and save it for Saturday night as I only feel 80%?
– Or should I just power through Friday Night, beat up, and also feel sub-par on Saturday Night?
Fortunately, my questions are answered by the form of a text message from Inga, that super fly 19 year old Latvian girl from the night before.
Inga: How your day? (8:16 pm)
Michael Mason: Let’s meet up tonight for a drink. (8:46 pm)
Inga: Meiby! (8:48 pm)
I hate text messaging, because, well for one, its super gay, so I call Inga instead of perpetuating world wide nonsense. We make plans to get a drink in an hour and eat dinner.
I get dipped in the freshest fabrics, and meet Inga with a two kisses greeting. She is wearing high heels, and a short skirt with leggings covering her Succulently Youthful 19 year old Latvian body. She is down.
We get a couple drinks and go eat at this hotel restaurant that I have locked down over the course of the last few days. Hand shakes all around to the restaurant staff, we sit down to eat. I am now in my element.
I keep the wine flowing at dinner and during numerous smoke breaks, there is blood in the water.
Coincidentally, (or maybe strategically) the hotel restaurant we finish eating at is directly across from my hotel.
I suggest we check out my hotel. She agrees.
You know how this ends.
You really thought I would get blanked in Riga, Latvia?
(For those scoring the fight at home, I am now 1-3 with 1KO in Riga, Latvia. And still 1-0-1 on the physical confrontation tip.)
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
I decide to get some culture in me, so I check out Latvijas Okupācijas muzejs or in English, The Museum of the Occupation of Latvia. Definitely, worth checking out. Real depressing though. Here is the basic rundown of the spot and the recent history of Latvia:
1. The Soviets took over Latvia and screwed them over.
2. The Nazi’s took over Latvia from the Soviets and screwed them over.
3. The Soviets took back over Latvia from the Nazi’s and screwed them over again.
Something like 550,000 people died, were murdered or disappeared. About 1/3 of the population. Not too many bright spots either. Like I said, pretty depressing stuff.
As I was leaving the Museo, I get a text from an 18 year old girl, named Karina, I met during a Street Game Session the day before while getting a SIM card from Rimi.
She wants to roll tonight.
She is not the flyest girl I have met by a long shot in Riga, but I figure 1) She’s 18 years old, 2) She speaks English really well, and 3) The whole affair has the promise of entertainment value and I can learn about the culture.
So I agree to meet up.
After another Vampire Nap, I get dipped and roll to meet her.
When I see her, she is with a girlfriend named Inga. 19 years old and super fly. Smooth. How often does that happen?
I roll with the two girls to get some drinks and these girls are buying me some Vodka shots, so I start to chip back away at the Scam dollars lost. The conversation is real basic stuff, which I actually prefer, as my Russian and Latvian skills are pretty weesh, and the two girls English is pretty basico, although Karina speaks pretty good.
Karina gets up to go to the bathroom at one spot, and Inga kisses me. It’s on like Eazy-E.
We roll to some weesh club, but it hardly matters as a “weesh club” still has mad fly girls in it, being we are in Riga, Latvia.
The night starts getting a little hazy, and I start rapping out with other girls and locking the place down Boa Constrictor Style ie The Bouncers, Bartenders and Waitresses.
I sit down and start talking to two fly Russian girls named Anna, and I think Christina. I notice there is some Russian cat kind of giving me the ice grill, but I pay him no mind.
The conversation with the two Russian girls is going smooth and according to plan as I Number Crunch the more fly of the two.
One of the girls says something in Russian to the cat ice grilling me which I take to mean “Beat it” or something. My Russian language skills are not too dope. She then tells me, “Don’t worry about him, he’s drunk.”
I respond, “I am not worried”. I glance over at him to see what he is up to then commence to spitting Game, my back turned to Mad Dogging Russian.
I continue with some dope story when I feel a pain in my neck. Russian Homeboy Karate Chops me from behind!
Unreal. When was the last time you were Karate Chopped? Maybe 4th Grade?
I stand up, Russian Homeboy backs off (he is pretty big), and I get ready to let him hear the birdies chirp.
The Russian girls jump in between us and I hesitate. I am not sure why? Maybe its maturity? Or maybe I don’t want to spend time in a freezing Latvian prison? But I don’t light up the Russian kook with a combo.
One of the Russian girls runs and gets one of the Bouncers I locked down earlier.
The bouncer comes out and grabs the Russian guy and ejects him from the club, using his head to open the door.
Smooth.
I trip out for a moment trying to make sense of what just happened, cause I want to know what’s going on like Marvin, but after a second of that nonsense, I do another shot of Black Balsam.
I continue raging till 6am trying to convert some of these leads back to my hotel to kick up their high-heeled boots, to no avail.
Good night though. Two physical confrontations in three days. Not bad.
But just like that, I go 0-3 in Riga, Latvia.
(Well, technically I am 0-3 on swooping girls in Riga, Latvia, but I am 1-0-1 on the physical confrontation tip. We will rule tonight’s action with the Karate Chop Kid, a draw.)
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
