Since I have been down in Cartagena, mass people tipped me off on the banning of Ed Hardy in a New Orleans Nightclub:
The idea came to Nick Thomas, Director of Programming, while watching the MTV show. “The whole thing is so funny because I was literally watching Jersey Shore in passing at 4 a.m. after being at Republic I thought, nothing would make me happier if not a single person dressed like this was in Republic. Then I thought, “Why can’t that be the rule?” The club put a flier on its window at Mardi Gras and the dress code spread across Twitpix which led to a mention on NPR. “It’s been well received because we have the best clientele, but I never thought the story would have this kind of national merit.”
Specific brands mentioned include No Affliction and Ed Hardy, but Thomas clarifies that, “The dress code isn’t limited to those brands, those are just the most obvious of the Jersey Shore-esque attire.” He includes “any other knock bedazzled tee shirts or hideous foil inks. The dress code isn’t about the brands, but the people that wear those brands. If a big beefy guy, over worked-out with way too much hair gel is copping an attitude at the door or anything within that realm, he’s not getting through. Ultimately if the clientelle in the club isn’t starting fights or disprespecting women, everyone in the venue can have a good time.”
In case you can’t see the photo clearly, it says: “If it’s on Jersey Shore it’s not coming through the door: No Affliction, No Ed Hardy, No Christian Audigier, No Exceptions.”
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
I have said it before, and I will say it again: I have never been one to play a “big shot”, it’s just the styles I got, that keep my Game hot.
And I am a pretty humble cat. I readily admit where my Game has flaws. I have said before that my Tech Game is slack. And I have mentioned previously that my IPhone, Twitter and Facebook Game are sub-par. And I have admitted that my Text Message Game is a glaringly faulty.
Here is another area where I haven’t done as well as I thought I could have: Swooping Fly West Coast Hipster Girls.
Now, don’t get it twisted, I have swooped tons of these girls. Probably more than whomever the hell the top hipster guy is. Still, my resume is a little spotty, unlike say my track record VS Exotic Dancers or wealthy daughters of Eastern European Oligarchs or wealthy hijas of Latin Society. In those areas, my win-loss record is the stuff of legends. Kind of similar, to Rocky Marciano.
Anyways, being a patron of the arts, I went to this Hipster/Wimpster Art gig a few weeks back.
Instead of going with my usual Custom Suit wearing, Zippo Clacking, Thick Bankrolling self (which I diagnosed as one of my issues with swooping these girls) I decided to switch up speeds like Bruce Lee driving the Fuji in the movie.
As I got dressed for the gig, I threw on some plaid pants that I had Custom Made (think Drugstore Cowboy, not Fuzzy Zoeller), an argyle type sweater I picked up in Milan, and an Italian Leather Jacket I grabbed in London.
Keep in mind, I have no idea if this is how a hipster “male” dresses, but they were the only things in my wardrobe that were pseudo “hipster like”.
Fast forward to the Art gig.
I viddy a couple of young fly hipster girls smoking some grits and I use it as an opportunity to ask for a light even though I have two Dunhill lighters in my pocket.
They ask me what I do for a living.
I respond, “I am a solopreneur.”
They ask me where I live.
I say, “In those new condos in XXXXXXX, by that ‘Starchitect‘ named XXXXX XXXXXX.”
They ask where I got my plaid pants.
I don’t tell them I got them Custom made and simply respond, “Vintage”.
The two girls are digging my steez. Although, when one hipster girl pointed to a Wimpster guy and said, “I hate that guy, I ‘de-Friended’ him” and I responded, “You should twitter that”, they kind of looked at me funny.
Regardless, I invite the flyer of the two West Coast Hipster Girls over to the makeshift bar sponsored by some weird Vodka company at the art gig as the other West Coast Hipster girl starting talking to some Wimpster guy.
Things were going smooth.
I almost blew the whole heist though, when I pulled out a huge 4 G Bankroll out of my pocket to pay for the weird Acai Vodka and sodas.
The fly hipster girl looked at me strange, but in a heads up play, I quickly asked her, “Is this Vodka Artisanal?” “Or is it an organic farm to table free-range Vodka?” and got her off the subject of my cashroll.
After some more small talk, kissing her, more drinks, meeting a bunch of Wimpsters, a venue change and at one point, I even made myself cringe when I said, “I really have become a Locavore, of sorts…lately”. I finally maneuvered myself back to the fly hipster girls crib.
Cartagena data sheets coming soon. Till then, I will be getting mad shoulder rubs, drinking Aguila, shooting Aguardiente, putting together export deals, banging out salsa, grinding arepas con queso, all the while dressed in the lightest of fabrics.
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Trends for 2010: The next decade will be won with custom suits, urban adaptability and international mobility.
“You might not always be the smartest, richest, or best looking person in a room—but you can be the Sharpest Dressed. Work on the things you can control. Believe me, if you know my Tailor you can be the best dressed in any room you step into.” – MPM
The custom suit can play many different roles and, chameleon-like, can mean different things in different situations. Retro or futuristic, subtle or outrageous, the suit is the ultimate in adaptability. Movie stars and rock stars, heroes and villains, philanthropists and gangsters – all these men and many, many more have dressed to impress.
Going suited down is the best way to avoid blending in with the “casual crowd”. Wearing a hand-rolled Borrelli tie or a flashy, flagrant and far from low-key pocket square by Etro will always separate you from the status quo. They say you never judge a book by its cover, but you do take someone more seriously when they are suitably attired. “If you are wearing a suit and tie, doors open for you. If you show up casual, you aren’t going to get into certain places.”
This trend is ripe for 2010. Adam King, co-owner of the bespoke suit company King & Allen in London, says he has seen a twenty per cent increase in first-time customers: “People who wouldn’t previously have worn a bespoke suit, or even a suit at all, are coming to us because they want to sharpen their image.” Custom shirts by Charvet and Tmoro Benson Leather shoes by Tod’s never hurt anyone, either.
Economic growth depends on productivity, and the most productive people are often the most mobile. Every country, region and city is engaged in a global battle for talent. The most creative people can live more or less where they want. They therefore tend to pick places that offer not only material comfort but an upbeat atmosphere as well. This makes life more fun. It also fosters progress. When clever people cluster, they can bounce ideas off each other. This is why rents are so high in Manhattan (it is also why there has been a population surge in Singapore). Robert Lucas, a Nobel economics laureate, argues that the clustering of talent is the primary driver of economic growth By almost any measure, the larger a city’s population, the greater the innovation and wealth creation per person. This is unlike small town America, where low-density sprawl and unsophisticated employees suffocate the postindustrial economy. Place still matters in the modern day—and the competitive advantage of the world’s most successful cities is growing, not shrinking. This is a trend that’s on the rise.
A crucial contributory factor to the development of global cities is the arrival of new talent to replenish their energy (never underestimate the need to replenish: Always Drink Fresh Blood). In short, cities’ diverse economic and social structures are the true engines of growth.
The jostling of many different professions and different types of people, all in a dense environment, is an essential spur to innovation—to the creation of things that are truly new. And innovation, in the long run, is what keeps cities vital and relevant. Remember, if you don’t adapt you become extinct.
“You want to be “Worldly”. Know about current events. Get “inside information” Everyone, and I mean everyone, finds Travel and Foreign lands interesting. At least anyone you want to get to know.” – MPM
While there are no hard numbers, more Americans seem to be trying to qualify for additional passports. They want to make sure they have two passports based on nationality because there are numerous benefits. Among those is the ability to work without restriction in various countries, particularly with passports from countries in the E.U. Dual nationals are doing better than ever, especially now that the E.U. has grown in size and scope. Multiple passports are also a way of hiding where one has been, which has obvious advantages.
Anyone considering dual passports should think first of the tax consequences, though–you can get certain exemptions because you’re a U.S. citizen. However, given the high tax rates in the U.S., a full-blown conversion to another nationality wouldn’t be such a bad idea. International mobility goes hand in hand with capitalizing on urban environments, making travel a priority.
This leads to the Five Flags Theory (think of it as the original “4-Hour Workweek“). Perpetual travelers are those who live in such a way that they are not considered a legal resident of any of the countries in which they spend time. By lacking a legal permanent residence status, they seek to avoid the legal obligations that accompany residency, such as taxes on income. Macao is an innovative move, and Buenos Aires is an opportunity waiting to unfold.
Lately, I have been getting a few emails basically asking:
“I know Mardi Gras isn’t exactly your steez, but I will happen to be in New Orleans during that time this year. What advice do you have for an Up and Coming G on the Rise for Mardi Gras?”
Great question. I am still around for you, keeping it underground for you.
Although Mardi Gras isn’t exactly my stilo, I have been in New Orleans during Mardi Gras before (It was a “work” trip, some PicayuneStandover job, back when I used to work for The Barons, in case you wanted to know).
Now, truth be told, Mardi Gras is probably the best “big gig” in America. And although my love for New Orleans is well documented, “big gigs” are not really my Forté anymore. But as far as doing Mardi Gras up “G Style”, you have come to the right place.
Here is how to march through Mardi Gras like “The Second Line”:
Custom Suited Down
The Crescent City, being G Manifesto Turf, is a very Suit Friendly city. Being Suited Up in The City that Care Forgot is never more important than during Mardi Gras. One, you will be dressed doper than your competition. Two, fly girls will be all over you like a Mac Gloss sale at the Beverly Center. Third, and probably most importantly, being Suited Down in The Big Easy is like an all-access pass. This can come in real heavy when you need to cross parade lines and cut down on travel times when you are doing mad Day Swooping. Seriously, you won’t know how important this is until you are there. You can thank me later.
Ritz Carlton Hotel, New Orleans
The Ritz needs to be your Base of Operations during Mardi Gras. Think of it as your Roux. The location, just off Bourbon, is like the Galatoire’s Goute (Crab Maison, Shrimp Maison and Shrimp Remoulade) at Galatorie’s; nothing short of perfection. Furthermore, it is on the French Quarter side of Canal, which can be pivotal, so you don’t get stymied by parades.
The Ritz Lobby Bar is probably the most user friendly Lobby Bar in America. Do like I do; lock the entire place down: from the bartenders, to the waitresses, the general manager, to the bus boys, to the band, to the lounge singer, to the girl whipping up the Bananas Foster.
These days I walk around the Ritz lobby bar like I am some kind of half IRA, half ETA Le Roi. Mad Regal with une couronne, getting everything Lagniappe.
Gentleman’s Clubs
The Gentleman’s Clubs are where you are going to do your strongest work during Mardi Gras. Laissez le Bon temp rouler. Especially, during the early part of Mardi Gras week. To kick the fountain of youth*, the early part of Mardi Gras can be relatively mellow. Not unlike a regular night in The City beneath The Sea.
Bottom line, American’s don’t party as hard as say, the Spanish or the Brazilians. Sorry to debunk the whole myth that American’s party the hardest. We have really become a bunch of sissys in this country. Present company excluded. But that is neither Pascal’s Manale nor Suits by Canali.
Anyways, back to the Gentleman’s Clubs. I have written extensively on Swooping Exotic Dancers. Re-read The G Manifesto and follow to The Seventh Letter. You should do more than fine.
Some of my finest moments of Triomphe have happened in New Orleans Gentleman’s Clubs. Well, the activities that took place succeeding, anyway.
Way Down Yonder In New Orleans – Louis Armstrong
Bourbon Street, Street Game
My plans to conquer the streets are embedded in my head like the Mark of the Beast.
And when it comes to Bourbon Street Game, I was born with it, I am getting on with it, and I am gonna have it till I am f*cking Dead and Gone with it.
During the early part of Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street can be pretty dope. Keep in mind; you have to sift through a lot of girls to really find the quality. It’s similar to finding une babiole in some King Cake.
As far as all the beads and girls flashing?
Like Ice Cube once said, “I ain’t the one”. Although, I do have mad respect for the culture.
If you follow my tips, and you got the Mojo Bag, Gris-gris, spider dumpling, goofer, black cat bone, and John the Conqueroo, you should have plenty of topless girls back at The Ritz Carlton anyway.
Grinds
You definitely have to get your grind on heavy in “America’s Most Exotic City”. Hit all the main guns; Galatories, Felix’s, August, Café Du Monde, Deenies, Bayona etc.
But also make sure you hit up some of the grind sessions outside the Vieux Carré, like the crawfish boils. And get your Gumbo on. This is where knowing some local Exotic Dancers can really come in handy.
I have been known to go “missing” New Orleans: Miss New Orleans, Miss Louisiana, Miss Metarie, Miss St. Bernard Parish, Miss Chalmette etc.
But always keep your wits about you. One time I woke up in the Bayou covered in blood, a Johnny Favorite record playing on the phonograph, chicken’s feet and mad fans spinning. It was mad weird. Ruined my Ozwald Boateng with le violet, l’or and le vert interior.
Ma Rainey -Louisiana Hoo Doo Blues
Later in the week
During the Later part of Mardi Gras, things simply get too tumultuous and hectic. It could take 45 minutes just to walk from The Ritz to Rick’s Cabaret because of La foule. And your handmade shoes from London will get all scuffed up.
This is when posting up in the tranquil environs of The Ritz Lobby bar will really pay dividends. The Ritz Lobby Bar; a better investment than equities in 2010.
Krewes
If you really have Game, like your humble author, you will infiltrate the parties that The Krewes throw. It is always good to intermix some New Orleans aristocratic “Débutante girls” with a steady diet of Exotics.
So how do you infiltrate these parties and swoop these “Débutante girls”?
Do me a favor.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, for those data sheets, a publisher is going to have to come at me a la Vaynerchuck; seven figs min.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
I am feeling sinister, kind of like a Donald Goines Novel. In short order, I have infiltrated a table of four fly Argentinean girls and two Argentinean cats. Two of the girls are beautiful, albeit they are too Hipster looking for my taste. If I want Hipster girls, I can just stay in New York City or Los Angeles.
The other two Porteñas are striking enough that I would contemplate dating either one for a month or two if we were America. But we are not in America.
Thankfully, the two non-Hipster girls are more into me, and they are so stunning that I feel my ears get pointy and my mouth starts salivating. But I remain calm and Tranquilo because I have been through this literally hundreds of times.
After a rapid fire pregunta y contesta session that I passed with flying colores, I go with a little of the old “absence makes the heart grow fonder” move and I get up and get another Goose and Soda. Which is really, kind of, an idiot move, since they are 10 times more expensive than a regular cocktail in BA. F*ck it though. I have been heisting a bunch lately, hit a trade on Wynn, and I need something stronger than Malbec, to levelize my dome piece after hitting a “street jay” hard with a couple of Porteñas and some guy they were with earlier.
After locking down the bartender, I head back to the table with the four girls but get intercepted by a Swedish cat that tells me to join his table. After seeing five fly Swedish Girls and just him and his Swedish buddy, I accept.
“Where are you from?” asks the second Swedish Cat in a thick Swedish Accent.
“Hollywood. Los Angeles.”, I answer.
I get the predictable, “Oh! Hollywood!”, “Los Angeles, I love LA!” type responses from everyone at the table.
And just like that, I am in. (Well, the Custom Suit might have had something to do with it, since it really did have an immaculate cut, and actually had an Elmo red interior. I also had the crimson Brioni Pocket square. Mad Flash and so much red you might have thought I was Brim or Piru.)
After peeting a bunch of cocktails in expeditious style, I could feel the buzz all through my gulliver.
The first Swedish cat then asks me, “Michael, how do you say “Cocaaine” in English?”
I kind of laugh and respond, “Umm…’Cocaine’ is how you say it.”
First Swedish guy then says, “No, I mean how do you say it in LA? The, how do you say, slang for ‘Cocaine’.”
“Beeks! Yes, Beeks. That is how you say it! Beeks!”, the Swedish guy kept yapping almost uncontrollably.
“That is what we need! We need Beeks! Beeks! Can you get Beaks?” he says in a frenzied manner that is all too familiar. (Although, I have never this sort of behavior from a Swedish cat in BA, so the whole thing was kind of novel.)
“Not sure.” I respond, laughing. I give him a “thumbs up” as well. (I always like to give foreign cats a “thumbs up” so they will think that’s how we do in America).
The Swedish guy then starts yelling, “Beeks! Beaks! Anyone have Beeks!?!” all across the lounge.
Gratefully, the music is so loud; no one can really hear the guy. And no one knows what “Beeks” are in BA.
Santa Maria (del Buen Ayre)
Either way, I spot two fly young Porteñas smoking jacks right outside the doorway of the lounge, and I have little faith that these Swedish guys will score any Beeks with their tactics.
Furthermore, I don’t think I even really want any Beeks. My night is going too fluidly to throw in any sort of scallywag behavior. (Although, I do like the word “scallywag”.)
Admittedly, I do think the weed I puffed earlier was relatively fuerte, because I was pretty amused and laughing at the way this Swedish cat kept on going bonkers about “Beaks!”
I excuse myself from the “Swedish Beeks” table, and then move to go join the girls outside for a jack.
As I roll through the doorway, one of the two fly girls rolls back inside leaving one fly girl smoking a grit.
Switch back to Spanish Game and introduce myself like the International Playboy of the Apocalypse that I am.
She says she her name is “Mariana”, which is a name I have a thing for. She says she grew up in Recoleta.
She says she likes this bar because it is in her neighborhood.
I feel the curious and prurient need to smoke two cigarettes at the same time.
I say I like this bar as well, because my hotel, the Alvear Palace Hotel is right nearby.
I hear the horns and percussion from a Curtis Mayfield song in my skull piece and I feel I am on top of Game’s Rushmore.
Mariana’s eyes start to dilate, she looks at me lasciviously, and I say, “
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
