The G Manifesto

Mardi Gras: The G Manifesto Way

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Lately, I have been getting a few emails basically asking:

“I know Mardi Gras isn’t exactly your steez, but I will happen to be in New Orleans during that time this year. What advice do you have for an Up and Coming G on the Rise for Mardi Gras?”

Great question. I am still around for you, keeping it underground for you.

Although Mardi Gras isn’t exactly my stilo, I have been in New Orleans during Mardi Gras before (It was a “work” trip, some Picayune Standover job, back when I used to work for The Barons, in case you wanted to know).

Now, truth be told, Mardi Gras is probably the best “big gig” in America. And although my love for New Orleans is well documented, “big gigs” are not really my Forté anymore. But as far as doing Mardi Gras up “G Style”, you have come to the right place.

Here is how to march through Mardi Gras like “The Second Line”:

Custom Suited Down

The Crescent City, being G Manifesto Turf, is a very Suit Friendly city. Being Suited Up in The City that Care Forgot is never more important than during Mardi Gras. One, you will be dressed doper than your competition. Two, fly girls will be all over you like a Mac Gloss sale at the Beverly Center. Third, and probably most importantly, being Suited Down in The Big Easy is like an all-access pass. This can come in real heavy when you need to cross parade lines and cut down on travel times when you are doing mad Day Swooping. Seriously, you won’t know how important this is until you are there. You can thank me later.

Ritz Carlton Hotel, New Orleans

The Ritz needs to be your Base of Operations during Mardi Gras. Think of it as your Roux. The location, just off Bourbon, is like the Galatoire’s Goute (Crab Maison, Shrimp Maison and Shrimp Remoulade) at Galatorie’s; nothing short of perfection. Furthermore, it is on the French Quarter side of Canal, which can be pivotal, so you don’t get stymied by parades.

The Ritz Lobby Bar is probably the most user friendly Lobby Bar in America. Do like I do; lock the entire place down: from the bartenders, to the waitresses, the general manager, to the bus boys, to the band, to the lounge singer, to the girl whipping up the Bananas Foster.

These days I walk around the Ritz lobby bar like I am some kind of half IRA, half ETA Le Roi. Mad Regal with une couronne, getting everything Lagniappe.

Gentleman’s Clubs

The Gentleman’s Clubs are where you are going to do your strongest work during Mardi Gras. Laissez le Bon temp rouler. Especially, during the early part of Mardi Gras week. To kick the fountain of youth*, the early part of Mardi Gras can be relatively mellow. Not unlike a regular night in The City beneath The Sea.

Bottom line, American’s don’t party as hard as say, the Spanish or the Brazilians. Sorry to debunk the whole myth that American’s party the hardest. We have really become a bunch of sissys in this country. Present company excluded. But that is neither Pascal’s Manale nor Suits by Canali.

Anyways, back to the Gentleman’s Clubs. I have written extensively on Swooping Exotic Dancers. Re-read The G Manifesto and follow to The Seventh Letter. You should do more than fine.

Some of my finest moments of Triomphe have happened in New Orleans Gentleman’s Clubs. Well, the activities that took place succeeding, anyway.

Way Down Yonder In New Orleans – Louis Armstrong

Bourbon Street, Street Game

My plans to conquer the streets are embedded in my head like the Mark of the Beast.

And when it comes to Bourbon Street Game, I was born with it, I am getting on with it, and I am gonna have it till I am f*cking Dead and Gone with it.

During the early part of Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street can be pretty dope. Keep in mind; you have to sift through a lot of girls to really find the quality. It’s similar to finding une babiole in some King Cake.

As far as all the beads and girls flashing?

Like Ice Cube once said, “I ain’t the one”. Although, I do have mad respect for the culture.

If you follow my tips, and you got the Mojo Bag, Gris-gris, spider dumpling, goofer, black cat bone, and John the Conqueroo, you should have plenty of topless girls back at The Ritz Carlton anyway.

Grinds

You definitely have to get your grind on heavy in “America’s Most Exotic City”. Hit all the main guns; Galatories, Felix’s, August, Café Du Monde, Deenies, Bayona etc.

But also make sure you hit up some of the grind sessions outside the Vieux Carré, like the crawfish boils. And get your Gumbo on. This is where knowing some local Exotic Dancers can really come in handy.

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

I have been known to go “missing” New Orleans: Miss New Orleans, Miss Louisiana, Miss Metarie, Miss St. Bernard Parish, Miss Chalmette etc.

But always keep your wits about you. One time I woke up in the Bayou covered in blood, a Johnny Favorite record playing on the phonograph, chicken’s feet and mad fans spinning. It was mad weird. Ruined my Ozwald Boateng with le violet, l’or and le vert interior.

Ma Rainey -Louisiana Hoo Doo Blues

Later in the week

During the Later part of Mardi Gras, things simply get too tumultuous and hectic. It could take 45 minutes just to walk from The Ritz to Rick’s Cabaret because of La foule. And your handmade shoes from London will get all scuffed up.

This is when posting up in the tranquil environs of The Ritz Lobby bar will really pay dividends. The Ritz Lobby Bar; a better investment than equities in 2010.

Krewes

If you really have Game, like your humble author, you will infiltrate the parties that The Krewes throw. It is always good to intermix some New Orleans aristocratic “Débutante girls” with a steady diet of Exotics.

So how do you infiltrate these parties and swoop these “Débutante girls”?

Do me a favor.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, for those data sheets, a publisher is going to have to come at me a la Vaynerchuck; seven figs min.

Pass a Good Time.

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Click Here to buy Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

*fountain of youth = Truth

Mother Love Bone – Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns

Buenos Aires and Beeks

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You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge:

So, I roll around the lounge in Buenos Aires, Custom Suited down, Going for Dolo, working the “Transition Game” and spitting poison darts at fly Porteñas.

I am feeling sinister, kind of like a Donald Goines Novel. In short order, I have infiltrated a table of four fly Argentinean girls and two Argentinean cats. Two of the girls are beautiful, albeit they are too Hipster looking for my taste. If I want Hipster girls, I can just stay in New York City or Los Angeles.

The other two Porteñas are striking enough that I would contemplate dating either one for a month or two if we were America. But we are not in America.

Thankfully, the two non-Hipster girls are more into me, and they are so stunning that I feel my ears get pointy and my mouth starts salivating. But I remain calm and Tranquilo because I have been through this literally hundreds of times.

After a rapid fire pregunta y contesta session that I passed with flying colores, I go with a little of the old “absence makes the heart grow fonder” move and I get up and get another Goose and Soda. Which is really, kind of, an idiot move, since they are 10 times more expensive than a regular cocktail in BA. F*ck it though. I have been heisting a bunch lately, hit a trade on Wynn, and I need something stronger than Malbec, to levelize my dome piece after hitting a “street jay” hard with a couple of Porteñas and some guy they were with earlier.

After locking down the bartender, I head back to the table with the four girls but get intercepted by a Swedish cat that tells me to join his table. After seeing five fly Swedish Girls and just him and his Swedish buddy, I accept.

“Where are you from?” asks the second Swedish Cat in a thick Swedish Accent.

“Hollywood. Los Angeles.”, I answer.

I get the predictable, “Oh! Hollywood!”, “Los Angeles, I love LA!” type responses from everyone at the table.

And just like that, I am in. (Well, the Custom Suit might have had something to do with it, since it really did have an immaculate cut, and actually had an Elmo red interior. I also had the crimson Brioni Pocket square. Mad Flash and so much red you might have thought I was Brim or Piru.)

After peeting a bunch of cocktails in expeditious style, I could feel the buzz all through my gulliver.

The first Swedish cat then asks me, “Michael, how do you say “Cocaaine” in English?”

I kind of laugh and respond, “Umm…’Cocaine’ is how you say it.”

First Swedish guy then says, “No, I mean how do you say it in LA? The, how do you say, slang for ‘Cocaine’.”

I respond, “I guess…’Beeks’?”

“Beeks! Yes, Beeks. That is how you say it! Beeks!”, the Swedish guy kept yapping almost uncontrollably.

“That is what we need! We need Beeks! Beeks! Can you get Beaks?” he says in a frenzied manner that is all too familiar. (Although, I have never this sort of behavior from a Swedish cat in BA, so the whole thing was kind of novel.)

“Not sure.” I respond, laughing. I give him a “thumbs up” as well. (I always like to give foreign cats a “thumbs up” so they will think that’s how we do in America).

The Swedish guy then starts yelling, “Beeks! Beaks! Anyone have Beeks!?!” all across the lounge.

Gratefully, the music is so loud; no one can really hear the guy. And no one knows what “Beeks” are in BA.

Santa Maria (del Buen Ayre)

Either way, I spot two fly young Porteñas smoking jacks right outside the doorway of the lounge, and I have little faith that these Swedish guys will score any Beeks with their tactics.

Furthermore, I don’t think I even really want any Beeks. My night is going too fluidly to throw in any sort of scallywag behavior. (Although, I do like the word “scallywag”.)

Admittedly, I do think the weed I puffed earlier was relatively fuerte, because I was pretty amused and laughing at the way this Swedish cat kept on going bonkers about “Beaks!”

I excuse myself from the “Swedish Beeks” table, and then move to go join the girls outside for a jack.

As I roll through the doorway, one of the two fly girls rolls back inside leaving one fly girl smoking a grit.

Switch back to Spanish Game and introduce myself like the International Playboy of the Apocalypse that I am.

She says she her name is “Mariana”, which is a name I have a thing for. She says she grew up in Recoleta.

She says she likes this bar because it is in her neighborhood.

I feel the curious and prurient need to smoke two cigarettes at the same time.

I say I like this bar as well, because my hotel, the Alvear Palace Hotel is right nearby.

I hear the horns and percussion from a Curtis Mayfield song in my skull piece and I feel I am on top of Game’s Rushmore.

Mariana’s eyes start to dilate, she looks at me lasciviously, and I say, “

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Curtis Mayfield / Move On Up

Guest Manifesto: For the People Pt. II

Click Here for Guest Manifesto: For The People Part I

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Kindle DX Wireless Reading Device (9.7″ Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation)

Michael,

Hope all is well. I dropped a guest manifesto in Q3 2009, but would cherish the opportunity to provide your readership with some additional insight into my lifestyle. For example, the itinerary below represents a typical night in the life of a certified, card-carrying G, and for that matter, a typical night for me.

8pm: Break bread at Don Peppe in Ozone Park. Table for one. Sleeves rolled up. Wearing my napkin like a bib. The linguini manichiatta can shut down Rao’s. Lead walls make the cell reception tough. Fed bugs in the walls make my cell phone unnecessary.

9:30pm: Push the Vantage into Manhattan. I’m driving 40 in the fast lane. They can wait. Bumping Built Only 4 Cuban Linx. I’m in no rush.

10:30pm: Throw down chips at Cips downtown. Upstairs getting dap from select clientele (sheiks, shoguns, heads of state, high-ranking NATO officials, others). Don’t think I’ve ever even been downstairs.

10:35pm: Pour out a little Screaming Eagle for my lost soldiers. We miss you, Giuseppe. Come home soon.

12am: Catch mad texts from club-going elite. Avenue is apparently the spot tonight. But Real G’s don’t do champagne sparklers. Flickering lights make me think of squad cars.

12:20pm: Ultra-luxury subterranean poker room/gentleman’s club/cigar lounge located at [UNDISCLOSED] with Russian oligarchs and other high net worth bauces. Negotiating/bartering with Chris and Nick Candy for their spot in the Monaco. I want to close before Grand Prix.

12:45am: Play some poker. Catch the homie Oleg (Deripaska) on the river. I have some shorting to do on Monday.

1:30am: Dip to a lower east side (authentic) hipster nightspot and efficiently scoop a fly Asian bartender that I have been casually twisting for a few days.

2:30am: Black car into Brooklyn. Catch dome on the way. Driver doesn’t mind. Park and wait outside the park at PS 117 at Franklin and Willoughby. Have the driver fetch a quarter water, while a Sotheby’s night watchman delivers blueprints and briefs me on various security measures.

4:30am: Black car back to my Tribeca trap. T-bone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welcher’s grape. Actually, more like something from Eric Ripert. Or that pistachio and rosemary shrimp from Shun Li. And no Slugger, you’re not gonna find that one on the menu.

5am: Burn Swisher Sweets with the oriental in the rooftop jacuzzi. She looks like Chun Li from Street Fighter.

6am: I be digging her out

6:15am: I be kickin her out

7am: Count both blessings and ten crack commandments before laying head on trillion count Egyptian cotton. Burner under the pillow. Sleep with one eye open.

Rinse and Repeat.

King Jaffe

Click Here for Guest Manifesto: For The People Part I

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Kindle DX Wireless Reading Device (9.7″ Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation)

Raekwon – Criminology

How to Swoop 100 Fly Girls Per Year

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

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Once again, it’s the late night opium den patron, watching Exotic Dancers shaking, midsection got the 8 in, Savile Row pimping, with that International Playboy system diction, spitting the non-fiction, without contradiction, never wearing “Affliction”, till I get the crucifixion and my drug addiction causes my dereliction in every jurisdiction with benediction.

Often times, people come up to me on the streets when I am Custom Suited Down, handing out $5 bills to little kids in my neighborhood (old-school G Move) out on twenty-two Heartache Avenue and ask me, “Yo Michael, How do you swoop 100 girls per year?”

Great question.

And, since I am sick of people asking me, here is how it’s done:

2 Fly Girls per week
First thing you have to realize is that swooping 100 fly girls per year, is only swooping two fly girls per week. Once you wrap your Rasoodock around it, it doesn’t seem that difficult anymore, right? Hell, these days my Game is so strong, I could probably wear off-the rack suits, be a boring non-smoker, and stand on my head and still pull it off. Initiative comes to thems that wait.

Roll out
I don’t really feel bad for most guys who don’t swoop 100 girls per year. 99 times out of 100, they simply don’t roll out at night often enough. Me? I steady go out 3 to 5 nights per week, suffering the tortures of the damned. Tortures of the damned.

I swoop fly girls, puff Heaven Haze, not just the weekends, that’s seven days.

If you don’t have that passion like Gary Vaynerchuk, it makes it very hard to Crush It.

Deniece Williams – Silly

Custom Suits, sharp as a Miyamoto Musashi’s Katanas
The next thing you need to do is dress mad sharp. Hell, I have Custom Suits in my wardrobe that if I put them on a mannequin in the middle of top tier nightclub they would swoop 50 top notch girls per year on their own.

Dressing sharp will make swooping the girls easier, obviously, but more importantly, you will have Style while you are swooping (and I don’t mean that bald Pick up Artist who wrote The Game either). It is pointless to swoop mad girls in glittery Ed Hardy shirts and suspect designer jeans with rhinestones. Because, when all is said and done, you are still wearing glitter and rhinestones.

So, wear gear that hits hard like Macho Camacho and Vargas, find your targets, and peg the market.

Pull Vicky Christina’s
If you want to swoop 100 plus girls per year, you need to take the pressure off and Pull some Vicky Christinas. Click here to read how.

The Gap Band – I Found My Baby

Las Vegas
At some point in the year, you are going to have to hit up Las Vegas. The reason? You need to roll thru a place where you can go “Murder Machine” and swoop like five girls in a night. There is no place is easier to swoop five girls in a night than Las Vegas. Most times when I do this, I just keep my door to my Salon Suite at Wynn propped open. Otherwise, I am struggling with that damn room key all night. Lately, I have been considering asking Steve Wynn to put in a revolving door for me.

Swooping five girls in a night just makes your life a lot easier, like some of the tips in Tim Ferris’s The Four Hour Work Week. Maybe I should write a book titled, “The Five Fly Girls Swoop Night”.

Thoughts?

Also, did I mention I am Beyond Undefeated in Las Vegas?

Minnie Ripperton (Inside My Love) – Proof That Angels on Earth do exist.

Stick and Move like a Young Muhammad Ali
You are going to have to move cities often and stay nimble, like your humble author, if you want to swoop 100 fly girls per year. Many American cities can get cooked pretty quickly. And, forget it if you are hitting up a town. Hell, I can cook a place like Laguna Beach in just a few weeks and have every guy in the town wanting my blood spilled. Do like Muhammad Ali and I do: Stick and Move.

Gentleman’s club
Little known fact: The one who controls the top Gentleman’s Clubs in each city is usually the top Playboy in each city. (Unless, of course, the guy who controls the Gentleman’s Club works at the Gentleman’s Club.)

The reason? The top G at the top The Gentleman’s Club swoops fly girls on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. These are nights that most run of the mill “players” stay in. Most weeks, I will have three or four girls already swooped by weekend time.

Then I can focus on the real important things in Life on the weekend like: huff cigarettes, watch Hagler VS Hearns and Gatti VS Ward for the millionth time, kick back, relax, lamp, give back to the people, get fitted for Custom Suits, help with International Disasters, scheme on new Heist ops, count money rolls till my money counter malfunctions, and swoop more fly girls. The rest of my time I just squander.

Un-Pick up Girls
When you swoop 100 fly girls per year, you can’t have girls play you close like Nutella plays toast. You have to learn how to Un-Pick up Girls.

I am actually working on this new futuristic Game Technique, that is wrapped so tight that the drug dogs can’t smell it, where you swoop a girl and Un-swoop her almost simultaneously.

The whole relationship with the girl gets caught in a time space continuum and the swoop frames are incredibly collapsed. Real post-apocalypse type stuff with a new twist. So dope that even Alicia Keys won’t be telling my secrets.

It’s so innovative that the world might start spinning the other direction. Creating a whole new market like G Manifesto Hall of Fame Member, Marc “The King of Oil” Rich.

I will un-wrap it, break it down and bag it up when I conclude my research. Baggies and Blue Tops, Purple Tops, Red Tops, Push Drops. (Trust it will be Puro, un-cut raw, and no Arm and Hammer.) You won’t be able to feel your face.

Sometimes, I feel like I am the Jonas Salk/ José Gonzalo Rodríguez Gacha of this Game Sh*t.

Side note:

Teddy Pendergrass, Rest in Peace. Huge loss, and true G.

I floated some CASH to Haiti. If you want to do the same, Click Here for The Red Cross. A huge part of being a G is helping those in need.

And treat every fly girl you swoop like a lady.

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Hot Commodities: How Anyone Can Invest Profitably in the World’s Best Market

The Temptations – Treat Her Like A Lady

The Art of Selling

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

(Here is my Facebook, New Twitter and The G Manifesto Facebook Page)

Yesterday, when I posted The Only Game Video You Need to Watch, of course I starting listening to mad Willie Hutch tracks.

Then I remembered Poppin’ My Collar which sampled Willie Hutch’s “The Theme From The Mack”:

I had never seen the video before. But I saw some solid lessons there.

I know many people are having a tough time stacking chips in the Down Economy, and these little hustlers at the beginning of the video really show The Art of Selling.

They use a great opener, get right down to biz, offer a solution, compliment the buyer, Then Close Hard.

I really love that closing line; “So, are you gonna help us brothers out, Or What?”

Its a real universal closing line that you can almost use in any situation:

“So, are you going to buy these packs of gum, Or What?”

“So, are you going to buy these IPhones, Or What?”

“So, are you going to buy these E-Tabs, Or What?”

“So, are you going to buy these Kalashnikovs, Or What?”

“So, are you going to buy these semi-conductors, Or What?

“So, are you going to buy these 7 million barrels of Oil everyday, Or What?”

“So, are you going to let me swoop you, Or What?”

You get the point.

Strong Game. Reminds me of when I was a young pup.

Click Here for Soft Selling in a Hard World: Plain Talk on the Art of Persuasion

On a side note, Haiti got wacked today. I just kicked them some CASH. You should do the same.

Click Here to give to Haiti through The Red Cross

Or Yele Haiti

Want to be successful? Learn how to sell!

City of Ghosts

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

The Mack 1973 Soundtrack The Mack Willie Hutch