gave her a “two kisses” good bye and exit Prime 112 with solid plans to meet the fly Argentinan girl later that night. I step into the balmy South Beach night wearing a two button bespoke cobalt blue Ozwald Boateng suit with the Royal Blue interior like I was from Kansas City. Or Simon City.
Spark up a smoke with the Zippo and a limo driver asks me, “Are you Joe?”
In a heads up move, I respond “No, I am Joe’s boss (having no idea who “Joe” is). Joe is still inside. I need to get to the Gansevoort Hotel quick.”
The limo driver says “Hop in”.
I love pro-bono limo rides.
As I exit the limo, I spot two blond girls, from the West Coast no doubt, smoking cigarettes outside Philippe and say,
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Wyclef Jean – We Trying To Stay Alive Featuring John Forte, Pras (Official Music Video)
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Let’s make things nice and sparkling clear, I have said before that The G never uses drugs to inebriate girls, and considers doing so, a horrible crime. But since it has never been done before, and people keep on asking me, I put together an EZ reference sheet for the up and coming G to know which drugs are best to be on for Picking up Girls.
(Disclaimer: I am not admitting to any drug use, and this reference sheet is best read with the word “allegedly” in front of every sentence.)
Cocaine: On paper, seems like a great drug to be on while picking up girls. But it’s not. Even caine filled Kools suck. Beeks are the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled on the G (next to convincing the world he didn’t exist). You get way too tweeked out, it is highly addictive and it hurts sexual performance. Your Game goes up the dollar bill as well; you get more into the drug than you do girls. Plus, it makes you look older; like using cologne on your face. Careful with this one. I have lost many a droog from the mirror, the razorblade and the straw.
Extasy: Fly girls are always trying to get next to me, and I have had some beautiful experiences on Extasy. You can spit mad innovative Game flows on Beans. The man of the hour has an air of great power. Chemically, it makes you glow, so girls sweat you like a sparring session at The Wild Card in summertime. Beans also make your pupils dilate which makes girls fall in love with you. Downside: Makes your back feel like a wind up doll. And you think every fly girl is the greatest girl ever. Once you come back down to earth, you usually change your opinion. But what’s some spinal fluid between you and a fly girl?
Crack: Sure, Rick James swooped mad girls while puffing rocks and base. But this stuff gets you way too out of your mind to spit coherent Game. And it will send you on a downward spiral. You remember what happened to G Money, right?
Rick James – You and I
Heroin: Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark, there was an era when lots of fly rich girls and models were on H. I avoided that scene, although I think I smoked that shit once. Gets you too dozy to swoop girls. Careful with this one too. I have lost many a droog to the spoon, the flame and the spike.
The Velvet Underground – Heroin
Marijuana: I have given my thoughts on Weed before. And already told The Greatest Pick up Line of All Time. You can definitely swoop girls while high on Chron. But you can get too high on heavy duty Chronic if you take huge rips out of glass bongs and your Game can suffer. Puff Jays instead.
Meth: Not really good for much except if you want to chill in crappy towns, heist crankster gangsters and go on a collision course with a jail cell. Or a desert grave. I have seen many a Southern California Prom Queen turn into a Southern California Prom Fiend on this stuff.
Special K: Back when Strike used to Clock and drink Chocolate Mousse, I always swooped mad girls on Special K in NYC at NV and Match. But I think it had to do more with my tight Game than it did the drug. All in all, I don’t recommend. Too trippy.
GHB: GHB can be similar to Beans if you take the right amount. If you don’t, you can end up more twisted than cornrows. Avoid.
Vicodin: I have swooped girls on Vikes, but generally speaking, they flip my head too bad and make me want to sleep. Like Amsterdam Nap style.
Hashish: I am a city slicker, I ain’t no townie, and right now I wish I had another hash brownie. But I always liked puffing it more. When I was a young prototype G, I put on some of the most dynamic Game performances high on Shish, swooping topless girls on French, Spanish and Portuguese beaches in summertime. I was mildly surprised that Time Magazine didn’t put me in “Most Influential” in those days (I would have respectfully declined) under the builders and the titans. With Rupert Murdoch, the Billionaire Boys and some dudes you never heard of.
Opium: ?
Acid: Acid is another drug I swooped fly girls on, but I don’t think it was because of the drug. These days, you are apt to say too many weird things and get too many strange visuals to properly chop up proper Game.
Mushrooms: I have met some “Shroom Gurus” in my day, and I can safely say I am not one of them. I had one friend that said he could “read girls minds” on Shrooms. Although he swooped mad girls on mushys, I tend to doubt he could tell what girls were thinking. All in all, peaking is too heavy duty and too confusing on shrums.
Peyote: I think I did that shit once. Just playing. Who knows? Ask Jim Morrison. Probably, good if you want to go on a Vision Quest though.
PCP: Good for drive-by’s with Latinos and Eses, rolling on Pico with Fredrico, not for swooping girls.
Rohypnol: Gets you way too faded. Menace II Sobriety like O-Dog and Caine to your Game.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, this decade’s Nightlife is in bad need of the new Ecstasy. And by “bad need”, I mean like a person who has been stabbed 20 times with a shank is in bad need of some pressure, some gauze and a blood transfusion.
Best to stick with The Holy Trinity: Cigarettes, Vino and Vodka if you want a long career in this Game.
And throw in Double Espressos if you missed out on your Vampire Nap.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
It is no secret that your Birthday is one of the easiest days/nights to swoop girls out of the year. There is something about Birthdays that make Ladies go Gaga. Me? I don’t care about Birthdays. What am I? Six years old? Can’t wait to get a Rubik’s Cube? No. To me, it’s just another night to swoop fly girls.
For whatever reason, it doesn’t matter how long you have known a girl, Birthday’s are known to be an extremely strong aphrodisiac.
In fact, I think the only Birthday I didn’t swoop at least one girl was my 21st Birthday, when rolled with my old-school crew. I got completely faded, and ended up puking my guts out in front of crack house after getting haymaker’d 21 times on my shoulder by one of my best droogs.
Thankfully, these days, I play my Birthday a little more smooth.
Typically, I call over girls to my crib on my Birthday “day” for two hour intervals, and bang them out accordingly.
Birthday “night” is a whole different story.
Common Birthday Game Theory suggests going out with a bunch of friends for pro-bono dinners and clubs and wack Bottle Service.
And your “friends” leading every female conversation with “It’s his birthday!” pointing to you and putting you, intentionally or not, on blast. This is usually followed by a shot bloodbath and too many high fives and hugs for your own good. Possibly, some terrible “heart to heart” conversation with someone.
Not smooth.
As you know by now, The G Manifesto is not about “common theory”.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
If you aren’t a natural at deflecting shit tests of all varieties, then you must teach yourself. For those men not blessed with the quickness of mind and aloofness of temperament to handle shit tests like a champ, a system must be devised. I’ve found one. I call it the Agree & Amplify anti-shit test counterinsurgency.
YOU: “Zero. Could you be a dear and hook up my feeding tube?”
***
GIRL: “I didn’t like the way you flirted with that girl at the party tonight.”
YOU: “I know, I’m an incorrigible flirt. Good thing you didn’t see the other ten girls I flirted with. Phew!”
***
GIRL: “You never get me flowers or write me poetry.”
YOU: “You’re right. Just think of my cock as a flower and our fucking as poetry in motion.”
***
GIRL: “I think we should take this slower.”
YOU: “You read my mind! Can I pencil you in next month?”
***
GIRL: [Making it obvious she’s flirting with another guy in your presence.]
YOU: “Hey, if you’re gonna try to make me jealous by flirting in front of me, at least put on a good show. I haven’t seen bad flirting like that since your Mom tried to pick me up.”
***
GIRL: “Buy me a drink.”
YOU: “Sure thing. Would you like my ATM pin number as well?”
***
GIRL: [Calls you back two days after you left her a message.]
YOU: “Only two days later? Wow, you’re slipping. A true player waits a year before calling back.”
***
GIRL: “I really feel we aren’t compatible.”
YOU: “You’re right, we’re *totally* incompatible. I like to wake up at 8:30 and you get up at 8:15. Who can live with that?!”
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
