Hope all is well. I dropped a guest manifesto in Q3 2009, but would cherish the opportunity to provide your readership with some additional insight into my lifestyle. For example, the itinerary below represents a typical night in the life of a certified, card-carrying G, and for that matter, a typical night for me.
8pm: Break bread at Don Peppe in Ozone Park. Table for one. Sleeves rolled up. Wearing my napkin like a bib. The linguini manichiatta can shut down Rao’s. Lead walls make the cell reception tough. Fed bugs in the walls make my cell phone unnecessary.
9:30pm: Push the Vantage into Manhattan. I’m driving 40 in the fast lane. They can wait. Bumping Built Only 4 Cuban Linx. I’m in no rush.
10:30pm: Throw down chips at Cips downtown. Upstairs getting dap from select clientele (sheiks, shoguns, heads of state, high-ranking NATO officials, others). Don’t think I’ve ever even been downstairs.
10:35pm: Pour out a little Screaming Eagle for my lost soldiers. We miss you, Giuseppe. Come home soon.
12am: Catch mad texts from club-going elite. Avenue is apparently the spot tonight. But Real G’s don’t do champagne sparklers. Flickering lights make me think of squad cars.
12:20pm: Ultra-luxury subterranean poker room/gentleman’s club/cigar lounge located at [UNDISCLOSED] with Russian oligarchs and other high net worth bauces. Negotiating/bartering with Chris and Nick Candy for their spot in the Monaco. I want to close before Grand Prix.
12:45am: Play some poker. Catch the homie Oleg (Deripaska) on the river. I have some shorting to do on Monday.
1:30am: Dip to a lower east side (authentic) hipster nightspot and efficiently scoop a fly Asian bartender that I have been casually twisting for a few days.
2:30am: Black car into Brooklyn. Catch dome on the way. Driver doesn’t mind. Park and wait outside the park at PS 117 at Franklin and Willoughby. Have the driver fetch a quarter water, while a Sotheby’s night watchman delivers blueprints and briefs me on various security measures.
4:30am: Black car back to my Tribeca trap. T-bone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welcher’s grape. Actually, more like something from Eric Ripert. Or that pistachio and rosemary shrimp from Shun Li. And no Slugger, you’re not gonna find that one on the menu.
5am: Burn Swisher Sweets with the oriental in the rooftop jacuzzi. She looks like Chun Li from Street Fighter.
6am: I be digging her out
6:15am: I be kickin her out
7am: Count both blessings and ten crack commandments before laying head on trillion count Egyptian cotton. Burner under the pillow. Sleep with one eye open.
Once again, it’s the late night opium den patron, watching Exotic Dancers shaking, midsection got the 8 in, Savile Row pimping, with that International Playboy system diction, spitting the non-fiction, without contradiction, never wearing “Affliction”, till I get the crucifixion and my drug addiction causes my dereliction in every jurisdiction with benediction.
Often times, people come up to me on the streets when I am Custom Suited Down, handing out $5 bills to little kids in my neighborhood (old-school G Move) out on twenty-two Heartache Avenue and ask me, “Yo Michael, How do you swoop 100 girls per year?”
Great question.
And, since I am sick of people asking me, here is how it’s done:
2 Fly Girls per week
First thing you have to realize is that swooping 100 fly girls per year, is only swooping two fly girls per week. Once you wrap your Rasoodock around it, it doesn’t seem that difficult anymore, right? Hell, these days my Game is so strong, I could probably wear off-the rack suits, be a boring non-smoker, and stand on my head and still pull it off. Initiative comes to thems that wait.
Roll out
I don’t really feel bad for most guys who don’t swoop 100 girls per year. 99 times out of 100, they simply don’t roll out at night often enough. Me? I steady go out 3 to 5 nights per week, suffering the tortures of the damned. Tortures of the damned.
I swoop fly girls, puff Heaven Haze, not just the weekends, that’s seven days.
Custom Suits, sharp as a Miyamoto Musashi’s Katanas
The next thing you need to do is dress mad sharp. Hell, I have Custom Suits in my wardrobe that if I put them on a mannequin in the middle of top tier nightclub they would swoop 50 top notch girls per year on their own.
Dressing sharp will make swooping the girls easier, obviously, but more importantly, you will have Style while you are swooping (and I don’t mean that bald Pick up Artist who wrote The Game either). It is pointless to swoop mad girls in glittery Ed Hardy shirts and suspect designer jeans with rhinestones. Because, when all is said and done, you are still wearing glitter and rhinestones.
So, wear gear that hits hard like Macho Camacho and Vargas, find your targets, and peg the market.
Las Vegas
At some point in the year, you are going to have to hit up Las Vegas. The reason? You need to roll thru a place where you can go “Murder Machine” and swoop like five girls in a night. There is no place is easier to swoop five girls in a night than Las Vegas. Most times when I do this, I just keep my door to my Salon Suite at Wynn propped open. Otherwise, I am struggling with that damn room key all night. Lately, I have been considering asking Steve Wynn to put in a revolving door for me.
Swooping five girls in a night just makes your life a lot easier, like some of the tips in Tim Ferris’sThe Four Hour Work Week. Maybe I should write a book titled, “The Five Fly Girls Swoop Night”.
Minnie Ripperton (Inside My Love) – Proof That Angels on Earth do exist.
Stick and Move like a Young Muhammad Ali
You are going to have to move cities often and stay nimble, like your humble author, if you want to swoop 100 fly girls per year. Many American cities can get cooked pretty quickly. And, forget it if you are hitting up a town. Hell, I can cook a place like Laguna Beach in just a few weeks and have every guy in the town wanting my blood spilled. Do like Muhammad Ali and I do: Stick and Move.
Gentleman’s club Little known fact: The one who controls the top Gentleman’s Clubs in each city is usually the top Playboy in each city. (Unless, of course, the guy who controls the Gentleman’s Club works at the Gentleman’s Club.)
The reason? The top G at the top The Gentleman’s Club swoops fly girls on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. These are nights that most run of the mill “players” stay in. Most weeks, I will have three or four girls already swooped by weekend time.
Un-Pick up Girls
When you swoop 100 fly girls per year, you can’t have girls play you close like Nutella plays toast. You have to learn how to Un-Pick up Girls.
I am actually working on this new futuristic Game Technique, that is wrapped so tight that the drug dogs can’t smell it, where you swoop a girl and Un-swoop her almost simultaneously.
The whole relationship with the girl gets caught in a time space continuum and the swoop frames are incredibly collapsed. Real post-apocalypse type stuff with a new twist. So dope that even Alicia Keys won’t be telling my secrets.
It’s so innovative that the world might start spinning the other direction. Creating a whole new market like G Manifesto Hall of Fame Member, Marc “The King of Oil” Rich.
I will un-wrap it, break it down and bag it up when I conclude my research. Baggies and Blue Tops, Purple Tops, Red Tops, Push Drops. (Trust it will be Puro, un-cut raw, and no Arm and Hammer.) You won’t be able to feel your face.
Sometimes, I feel like I am the Jonas Salk/ José Gonzalo Rodríguez Gacha of this Game Sh*t.
Side note:
Teddy Pendergrass, Rest in Peace. Huge loss, and true G.
I floated some CASH to Haiti. If you want to do the same, Click Here for The Red Cross. A huge part of being a G is helping those in need.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
But that is neither Chronic Haze nor Rival’s Graves.
Let me tell you a little story:
A few years ago, I knew a cat that was voted Orange County’s Top Bachelor by the major weesh Orange Curtain publication. Cover shot, full color spread, article, you know, the works.
And truth be told, the guy had some Game. Smooth cat, strong swoop resume (albeit local), flipped bricks on the low, successful legitimate brick and mortar biz, fly crib in Newps, fat pocket etc.
But that is really the whole thing; just because someone has Game doesn’t mean they can go up against your humble author. I have made a career out of treating even legit “players” like Manny Pacquiao treated Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton.
Anyways, unfortunately for Orange County’s Top Bachelor, I didn’t really like him.
One night I saw his main girl (fly, rich, smart, parents with cribs on Spyglass and Lido Isle etc) at a bar in CDM.
Had a full relationship with the girl; first kiss, first swoop, argument, got back together, and break up, all taking place in under 6 hours.
G Manifesto Tip: Always collapse time frames.
The papers the next day read: Michael Porfirio Mason KO over Orange County’s Top Bachelor.
Once Orange County’s Top Bachelor found out I swooped his girl and twisted his wig, he tried talking trash about me. I approached him like a an old-school Gentleman. He backed down.
Now, I come from the streets, the underworld and the boxing world. So my question is this:
If I defeat Orange County’s Top Bachelor, doesn’t that make me Orange County’s Top Bachelor?
Shouldn’t that crappy publication come calling to me and throw me on the cover? (I would respectfully decline, of course.)
Either way, I have one more question for “players” that go against me:
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
So you swoop a fly Las Vegas girl out of the Gentleman’s Club du jour or the most en vogue “Ultra Lounge”* back to your $1000 per night**, Down Economy priced, Salon Suite (1,890 square feet of decadence) at Wynn Las Vegas.
From my extensive, un-official case study, you will get one of two responses:
1. She will gasp in amazement from the splendor of the room and stunning views of the Las Vegas Strip. Her eyes will then stare back at you and her you will notice her heart skip a beat. And she will start to fall and euphoria takes over.
2. You will get a “business as usual” look that says, “I have been in a room like this a million times before”. She might even walk directly to the half-champagne bottle in the mini-bar and not even bother with the view of the Strip. Most likely, she will just casually toss her Judith Leiber Emerald-Cut Full Bead Minaudier on the multi-sectional sofa. There will be no delirium.
Response number one equals: a potentially “decent” girl, new to town, most likely younger.
Response number two equals: a potential “pro”, been in town too long, most likely older.
There is no surer way to tell what your girl is all about than The Las Vegas Litmus Test.
Post swoop, number two might also tell you a story about “how she is behind on rent”. Go Pure Game because you aren’t the one.
Either way, commence to swoop with either type of girl.
* I don’t know why these weesh nightlife directors in Las Vegas insist on coming up with names for things like “Ultra Lounges”. Relax, it is just a lounge.
** This is what the room will most likely cost you. I get upgraded pro-bono.
Other side note:
I haven’t completed my un-official case study on Encore Las Vegas. Not enough data yet. I will post when I have conclusive results.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
The O’Jays perform “For The Love of Money” on Soul Train
