I love this place. In fact, I’ll say it again, I love this place. Just as the Delano is ground zero for me in SouthBeach, Miami, The Ritz is ground zero for me in New Orleans. The location on Canal Street keeps you out of Bourbon Street noise but close enough to go to Bourbon to swoop girls back to your hotel. Even though, I always stay at the Ritz, I make sure I spend plenty of money around town to help the people. That’s one reason people call me “The Peoples Champ”. What you know about Hollygrove? What you know about the 9th Ward? What you know about The Second Line? I continue to give money and support the city I love.
Atmosphere:
Class. Pure Class. This place is low-pro style. My kind of style. Heavyweights stay here. When you’re here you really feel like you are in a Big Easy Paradise. Beautiful décor, tons of flowers everywhere. Some Celebs, maybe the Lakers Basketball Team, perhaps the Late, great Johnnie Cochran or other Peoples Champs. Having a Pre-Castro Cuban Cigar in the Courtyard is the definition of Relaxation…look it up in the dictionary.
Rooms:
The Rooms in The Ritz are smaller than most modern hotels. Certainly, they are smaller than the rooms in the hotels in Vegas. But really doesn’t matter when its 4 am and you just got back to your room with a couple of Cajun Cuties, hotter than Paul Prudhomme’s kitchen at K-Pauls, just off work carrying Big Bags. I never mind helping girls carry their Big Bags back to the Ritz. Hell, I have carried more Big Bags than a Colombian Coke Smuggler. The Presidential suite is very impressive, plenty of space and is how I typically like to operate.
Competition:
Sure there are Heavyweights here, but there is a certain feeling of Community at the Ritz,….like you have Arrived. But, I have never shied away from good competition. If you want to be a Heavyweight Champ, you have to beat Heavyweights, Right? Be a Roy Jones, Jr. That being said I have beaten more NBA Legends than Isaiah Thomas. Plus, I always pack a Desert Eagle from the moment I leave the airport in The Crescent City. So I never really sweat it.
Features:
The Lobby Bar(also known as On Trois…a lot of people don’t know that): Hands down the best lobby bar in the country in your humble authors opinion. Cool as a fan. I am not alone in thinking this. I love it so much that I have been there with a fly Bayou Princess, and I have wanted to stay in the Lobby Bar for one more Goose Soda Lime instead of Dipping back to my room with her. The Spa is insane. The Restaurant is very good. I usually get the Rick Fox burger. But there are so many dope restaurants in New Orleans that you really only should go if you don’t want to leave the hotel.
The G Manifesto Move:
Lock the entire Place Down. Like New JackCity. Get the Bellhops, The Lounge Singers, the bartenders, even the girl who whips up the Bannanas Foster on your team. The Service in the Ritz is some of the best in the country and if you take care of the People here they will take care of you Ten fold…….I love this place.
Michael Porfirio Mason AKA The Peoples Champ AKA Your Favorite International Playboy’s Favorite International Playboy
AKA Your Favorite G’s Favorite G
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Whenever I go to SouthBeach, The Delano is the first stop I make. Its ground zero. Sure its not 1997 or 1998 (way before MTV got a hold of the place and ruined a great thing) but the floor to ceiling white drapes billowing in the tropical breeze are as welcoming as ever. The Delano will always hold a special place in my heart, how could it not, I have swooped mults Model girls out of here and bagged and wrapped more O’s that a box full of Apple Jacks.
Atmosphere:
Again, it’s not the South Beach Renaissance, when It was Models, Murder and Mayhem but the white décor here stands the test of time. It has always reminded me of A Clockwork Orange meets the Tropics, which is a good thing in my book. Although I think he has made some missteps in recent outings, Philippe Starck earned G Manifesto Certified Status for his design on this spot. Ian Schrager is obviously G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame. A true innovator in the purest sense of the word.
Rooms:
Small and Spartan, but who cares? I have never been overly concerned with desk space for a laptop when I am sharing it with a naked Model Chick from Budapest.
Competition:
I always think the competition in SouthBeach is formidable. It is not paper thin like Hollywood as a comparison. You never know when your going to run into some Cartel guys from Dagestan (former republic of the Soviet Union, to those of you who don’t know the first thing about The East) who are veterans of the Narcotic and Caviar Wars of that region. Always pack Ninas. I like going with a Vintage Ruger just because it goes nicely with a lot of the lighter weight suits I tend to wear in South Beach.
Features:
The Pool at the Delano is on of my favorite pools in the world. I am still not sure I can verbally explain it. You just need to check it out and you will understand. The lobby is beautiful and gives you great opportunity to spit “Lobby Game”. I also love the faucets in the Lobby Bathroom. Inside tip: The faucets are a great gauge of how dope a place really is. The Blue Door Restaurant is mad overpriced, and the food isn’t that great, but you don’t expect an interesting, reasonably priced wine list of low-pro cult finds and great value Foie Gras at a place like this. If you are having dinner with a girl at The Blue Door, and you can’t swoop her, your problems obviously don’t end there. In fact, let me take her out and I’ll show you how it’s done. The RoseBar is dope. You can be doing a lot worse than posting up here with a Goose and Soda. Great meeting point, temperature reading, and spark spot also (and I don’t mean Sparks Steakhouse in NYC either). The Agua Bathhouse Spa is first rate and its on the hotel’s roof. Great to use for a Spa Close. The Delano’s Gym is also good for Entering the Dragon.
The G Manifesto Move:
If cash is no object, get the Penthouse. Miami Beach is the kind of place where a ridiculous room really can pay for itself. If you are a G on somewhat of a Budget, go to the Delano early in the night. Spit some Lobby Game as you enter at the Girls in Short Skirts, maybe spit some Poisonous Darts at the table of eight girls at the Blue Sea Sushi spot to sharpen your game. Then post up at the RoseBar and get a Goose. As long as you are Dressed sharp (Maybe something like a light Grey Paul Smith Two-button, with lavender pinstripes center vent, Cookie Monster Blue interior, Gucci shirt with a Grover Blue and Miss Piggy Pink Striped Gucci tie and loafers by I think Gucci) you should be able to generate some good leads. Roll by the pool and plan out your evening of Pleasure in SouthBeach…. Worst case scenario is that you will have Momentum on your side (no pun intended)…….The Rest is Up to You……………
Michael Porfirio Mason AKA The Peoples Champ AKA Your Favorite International Playboy’s Favorite International Playboy
AKA Your Favorite G’s Favorite G
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel http://www.thegmanifesto.com
[Rap] Aiyyo my lifestyle’s exquisite, Llello like a blizzard
[Nas] It’s choir attire standin on ground with one pivot
[Rap] Two players rockin silk blazers and diamonds like glaciers
[Nas] Lands with name brand seats reclinin like in spaceships
[Rap] Bodies on ice
[Nas] Livin trife, rollin fixed up dice
[Rap] Gamblin Grants
[Nas] Handlin stamps
[duo] Moves are sheist
[Nas] My bankrolls, got the cops comin in plain clothes
[Rap] Tryin to arraign again cause of our fame that’s how the game goes
[Nas] True
[Rap] Right out the slammer with the fame and glamour
Cookin up grams with Arm & Hammer supplyin scramblers in Alabama
[Nas] Rub out faces and leave no traces
My aces got mad body cases, preserve spaces at the horse races
(Murder. Simply some of the Sickest lyrics ever breathed into a microphone. “Fast Life” by Nas and Kool G Rap,
G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame Track…….and just so you know its spelled “Llello” not yayo…its Spanish…… Skippy)
One of the favorite places for The G to hang out at, especially in Summertime, is the Race Track. In fact, The Kentucky Derby is the official Start of Summer on the G Manifesto Calendar. And Summer time officially ends on Closing Day. September 6th at The Del Mar Thoroughbred Club on the West Coast and September 4th at The Saratoga Race Track on the East Coast. Depends obviously on where you’re at (or where your going).
Winning at Gambling is very difficult at the race track. To paraphrase Andy Beyer, who has called horseracing “the greatest mathematical equation ever created” the odds are solidly against you. Good gamblers, Even great gamblers that win at other games get whacked at the Track. Me? I don’t gamble on horses too much. I operate on inside information, or have a jockey, or preferably jockeys in my back pocket. I also spend of a lot of time with the racing and sportsman set. This helps me get the edge I need. But mostly I go to the Race Track for the experience. Much like a Fight Night, the track is full of interesting characters. Big Money Horse owners, Jockeys, Trainers, Gold Diggers, Socialite Girls, Professional Team sports Coaches, Old Money, Nuevo Riche Jerks, Con Men, Models, Hollywood Actress Broads, Nightlife Princesses, Old-School G’s, G’s, G’s on the Rise, Prototype G’s, Gamblers, its like a modern day Damon Runyon Story. (Guess who is playing the role of the protagonist?)
However, you can’t just go to the racetrack with no preparation and game plan or you’re going to be outgunned. Like stepping into a gun fight with a deuce deuce against a four pound. It’s a war zone. You need to go stronger than ever, money longer than ever, longer Beretta. (And just so you know, personally, I am at war a lot like Anwar Sadat, no warning shot and my guns warm a lot)
Be well rested
Going into the racetrack you are going to need plenty of energy. Its summer time so it’s hot out. The track usually starts around 12 noon or sometimes 4pm. Either way you are in for a long day into the night, and you have to be ready for the night. I love going to the track during the week, because that’s when the real gamblers are there. I also love going to the track on Friday and Saturday, hell, even Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (never Mondays, I never eat seafood on a Monday, unless of course I am at Le Bernardin in NYC….props to Eric Ripert). Being well rested is difficult especially when you spent the night before getting massages and drinking Champagne with two exotic dancers till 5 am. So you might need to take a Vampire Nap or drink a Rockstar. Getting a workout and Entering The Dragon can also help take the place of lost Rapid Eye Movement. The best thing to do is hold off on booze when you first get to the track and really ease into the relaxed Atmosphere. Then ease into the Goose and Sodas, and I guarantee you, when you start seeing the summer dresses and smell the Coca butter and perfume you will start feeling wonderful. Plenty of time to get into the Seventh Dimension. The Race Track is one of the few places you will actually see me drink during the day.
Track Gear
You have to dress fresh at the track. My goal is to always dress the freshest. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t achieve my goal. And I have a great memory. You can never go wrong going old-school style: Seersucker Suits, Spectator shoes, etc. Make sure you wear a light colored suit as well. You’ll look like you only own one suit if you go in a dark collared one, which is probably the case if you are wearing a dark collared suit on a hot summer day. So stop being cheap and spring $2000 for a decent light colored summer track suit. Me? I have like 20 (on each coast). I like going with a light tan Valentino two button with Lavender Shirt (and I am not talking about that Nightlife Princess Lavender either), purple Brioni pocket square, Gucci Belt and Prada loafers no socks, Sportsman Style. It is also completely acceptable to wear sport coats and Slacks to the track. Just make sure they are top-notch. Ties can work, but due to the heat, it is advisable to go no tie. The Pocket Square is the New Tie.
Turf Club
You have to gain entry into the private area of the Race Track. The Sky boxes are good but entry into the Private Turf Club is really what you want. Why? Because drinking cocktails out of plastic cups in General Population has never done any G any good. Also the girls are richer, the girls are hotter, its easier to place bets, and as Willie Sutton said,” Because that’s where the Money is”. How do you get entry? For members it’s easy. Other wise, you are going to have to be creative. (We will cover entry into private clubs and nightclubs in a future G Manifesto, for now refer to The Art of The Grease). Once you’re in, get the Matre’d on lock and the Bartenders. This will make your life easy. For me it’s real easy because these types of private clubs are like Bases of Operations for me.
Winning every Race
Once your settled in, got your table, ordered a Shrimp Cocktail or set up your Base at the bar its time to “win” some Races. Now, unless you “know” what is going to happen during the race (as I often do) you WILL lose if you bet. So the key to the track is you must pretend like your “winning” every race. Everyone likes a winner. Girls will gravitate over to you, Socialite girls will leave there boyfriends to hang out with you, the Gold Diggers and Table Hawks will start circling and you will get Biz opportunities and Biz Cards up the Kazoo. The advantage you have is most people bet and lose and when people ask them how they are doing, they say, “Losing”, or “I am getting killed!” or something along those lines (and I don’t mean Beeks either). Now when a fly girl just talked to that “losing” guy, and then comes up to you and asks how your doing, and you say “that last race worked out really well” or “that race set up perfectly, but I studied the race all morning” who do you think she is going to want to hang out with more? Also when the race is running, Yell and cheer (keep it smooth though), but don’t make mention of which horse you are pulling for. When the come down the wire, increase your cheering. As the horses approach the finish line Yell something to your Running Partner like “I told you!” And even thrown in some high-fives to make it all look authentic. You will be able to feel the eyes of girls on you from all over. Similar to marketing. Now spark up a smoke. Take a sip for an elegant high, be one hell of a guy, fly pelican fly.
Know the Ecosystem
The great part about the racetrack is you get a diverse portfolio of girls. Hollywood Actress girls love the Track. So do Model Girls. So do Gold Diggers and Table Hawks. And Rich Daughters. We will deal with how to deal with these different girls at a later date. For now refer to The Six Elements of Picking up Girls.
Do your legwork
Know the after gigs. It’s important to get multiple pitches out to girls during the track to hook up things for later. Know the resorts, the restaurant owners, who are hosting the Mansion Parties and the bartenders. Its summertime, remember, and bars tend to get busy. Every second counts, and you don’t want to waste precious time waiting for drinks. Get the waitresses on lock down also. These girls can really bail you out by putting together a private chilling area for you and a Running Partner and a couple of fly Diggers. Having a top chef come by and shake your hand and order something for you “off-menu” never made anyone look bad either. If the move gets no reaction from the girl, call her a cab to take back to her crib in the trailer park/ suburbs.
Work in Pairs
The G Manifesto usually advocates working dolo, unless you are rolling with a G Manifesto Certified Running Partner. Then it’s good to go Scarface with Manolo. The Race Track is a good place to roll with Running Partner. Girls often are in bigger groups and it’s good to have some extra muscle to deal with rival crews and Haters. And like anywhere these days, there is no lack of Haters at the Track.
“I knew it!”
In closing, here is a great custom move to use on girls at the track (and I have used this move so many times with success, I don’t mind giving it up): Spot two fly socialite girls like a Cheetah. Have your running partner roll over to them (suited down of course) and sprack up a conversation. Doesn’t really matter, could be about anything, just be charming, witty, and hold their attention. Next you “roll up” on them like sleeves, ignore the girls and say to your Running Partner “Remember we have ten Grand riding on this race” right before the announcer says “And there off!” Follow the Race and ignore the girls completely. This is very important. Become a little more animated as the horses are coming down the final stretch, remember, and don’t specify which horse or horses you are pulling for. As the horses come Thru the Wire (and I don’t mean that Kanye track with that dope Chaka Kahn sample, Through The Fire), say “I knew it!” and give your running partner a Pound. Maybe throw something else in there like “I told you….that’s three races in a row now!” Girls will already be completely sold on you. If you want to torture them, wait for them to introduce themselves. If you don’t want to punish them too much, Introduce yourself, and invite them for a drink at the bar. Ignore all questions about which horses you had or who you have on the next race, or greet there questions with your index finger up to your lips, like you would “shhhhh”. No need to make the sound. Invite them to your table at the finish line. The Rest is Up To You…………
“I thought you got busted Mr. Portfirio, I was sick to my stomach and having panic attacks thinking you were in the clink, or are you? Anyways I have become quite the G thanks to your Manifesto’s, and when my new Razor PDF vibrated in my new Bironi Custom made suit with your latest blog in Vegas last night (all of this thanks to a heist in Scottsdale that netted me 450K and left 4 dead, but that’s neither here nor there) I quickly located the local “VegasNightlife Princess” at the most upscale underground night club in all of Sin City. I simply said “Jack Pot”!!!!!!!!
Needless to say I followed your tips, and had her back in my suite at 6 AM doing things to her that even a farm animal would scowl at. She limped out of my room 20 minutes ago. Thanks for the tips and tricks, keep them coming and should we ever cross path beware that you created primp up and coming mutha fucking G!!!!!”
—–Not sure about the whole farm animal thing.I don’t really know too much about farms.I stick to cities, beaches and cities on Beaches. Sounds like a decent score, too bad you had to go to Scotsdale to do it, but next time make it more clean, dead bodies can cause unnecessary Heat (and I don’t mean that crappy NightClub called Heat either). All in all, good work.—–MPM
Side Note:
Immortal Technique from Harlem, Washington Heights is probably the Rawest MC right now. Bone Chilling. You should look into it.
Side Note II:
Opening Day at the Track is the worst time to go to the track. Ask any dork when they like to go to the Track and they will say, “Opening Day!” Enough Said.
Side Note III:
When you are at The Del Mar Thoroughbred Club, do not, and I repeat, do not go to PacificBeach afterwards. PacificBeach is one the greatest hoaxes ever put on the straight male. The bars in PacificBeach have more guys than gay bars. The funny thing about it all the guys that go to PacificBeach are homophobic. But maybe it makes sense; you know what they say about homophobic people……
Side Note III:
In the most recent issue of Los Angeles Magazine in a pro-smoking article about The Tinder Box, one patron is quoted as saying “Hitler was a non-smoker and Einstein smoked a pipe….what does that tell you?” Sound familiar? Probably does, because you already read the concept in The G Manifestos earlier installment, The Smoking Gun. That’s ok, I borrow from people also.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Murder Machine
AKA The One you Got Your Game Style From
AKA You Probably know me from Your Girl
AKA The One your Girl was with When She Never Came Home
AKA The One Who Climbs up the Balcony with The Sunglasses and The Shotty
AKA The Don Juan Beside The Don
The Guide to Getting More out of Life http://www.thegmanifesto.com
“The C stands for Cool Breeze who’s known as the champ
Freddy Calhoun, the coolest cutta at camp
Ay, my one’s and my two’s got your whole town shook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook!”
—–Select lyrics from “Watch For The Hook” by Cool Breeze (G Manifesto Certified underground ATL classic)
So I am sure you all heard about the city of Chicago banning the sale of the delicacy Foie Gras. Here is yet another example of government intrusion on our personal lives. I really think we need to get our priorities straight. I mean seriously, don’t we have bigger problems than Goose and Duck liver? And of all places, banning it in Chicago. Here is a city were we have poverty, violence and drug problems. Mayor Daley was the only voice of reason and said “We have children getting killed by gang leaders and dope dealers. We have real issues here in this city. And we’re dealing with Foie Gras?”
First of all, I can’t believe Mayor Daley couldn’t squash this nonsense. I can’t remember a time when a Mayor of Chicago with the last name Daley didn’t have the spot on lock. This obviously isn’t our father’s Chicago. I really miss Irish Democratic Machine Politics.
Second of all, what is the reason for banning Foie Gras? Radicals say that the “overfeeding of ducks” to make Foie Gras is inhumane. Isn’t the “underfeeding of humans” inhumane as well? Seriously, we have children growing up around the world and in our country malnourished and starving, and we are worried about giving ducks too much to eat? Its not like ducks are endangered. It’s not like it’s the Sturgeon from the Caspian Sea that might go extinct. Why don’t these people go to any park in any city that has a pond, all you will see is ducks. And who knows if the ducks don’t like being overfed. Has anyone asked the ducks if they don’t like it? It has to be better than being a hungry duck, right? I haven’t noticed Daffy or Donald taking a public stand against Foie Gras. Personally, I like overeating. Many times I like overeating Foie Gras! And smoking cigarettes and gulping wine with a Bulgarian Model Girl, while Zegna down. In fact, there are few things I like more. Have any of these people who are so against Foie Gras actually tried it? I doubt it, because the stuff is delicious!
I really cannot relate to the minds of these people who are against Foie Gras. How can this be their top priority? Think bout it. If you were so in favor of ducks rights, wouldn’t you also be against violations on human rights? Anti-war perhaps? Everyday Americans die in the Middle East, but you want to spend your energy stopping the sale of Foie Gras? What is next? Stopping the sale of Live Lobster Sashimi? Personally, I like seeing a Live Lobster look at me while I am eating it. Are you gonna try to take away that pleasure as well? Why not go after factory farming of pigs and chickens. Factory farming does more harm to animals, people, and the environment that Foie Gras does. Why don’t they go after Pizza Hut for cheapening Italian Culture and serving fake cheese? That stuff cannot be good for anyone. Charlie Trotter (who first came out against Foie Gras) really screwed this one up. One of my good friends who lives in Chicago, (who is G certified, armored car heists are his specialty) wanted to shove this Trotter guy in an oven, when he heard that even Trotter said the government shouldn’t decide for people. (You don’t know how close you came Trotter………..)
Side Note:
If you have been hanging around boxing gyms since Oscar De La Hoya dismantled Ricardo Mayorga, you have probably heard the rumors that De La Hoya and I might meet in the ring. True, if this fight happens, it would set a record for the most girls ever attending a boxing match. And true, I haven’t been in a ring since the amateur days and some unlicensed bare-knuckle boxing matches in the mid 90’s in London (when I was working with some Firms on the East End), but I can tell you De La hasn’t faced anyone with my body attack. You remember when my main man Hopkins took out De La with a liver punch right? Where do you think he got that tip? But the fight will probably never happen. I don’t think De La would want to fight above 160lbs, and I am not dropping below 168….I enjoy Foie Gras too much……..The Rest is Up to You………..
