“I’m the mild, money gettin style, rollin foul
The versatile, honey stickin wild, golden child”- Nas

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of eating a late lunch at Stage Deli in Mid-Town, New York City, with one of my childhood friends who shall remain nameless. Tucked away in a corner, we reminisced about our childhoods, and what shaped us into the G’s we are today. My friend, however, has chosen what most would consider to be an unconventional line of work. He is in the “human disposal” business. We have never judged each other and I still don’t judge him. He was just a natural and is in the business strictly for the money. He is very successful, although young, he has a great client list, travels tons, a big bank roll, a closet full of Italian suits, plenty of time off, rolls with models, and has some Excellent Cadavers to his credit.

I asked him what he credits his success to. Among other things, he told me he never does any work without meticulous planning, the right tools, and a checklist to make sure he has everything before going on a “job”. For him, (depending on the particulars of a job) he usually brings:

AR-7 Rifle (because it breaks down easily)
3-6 Powered Scope (for long range shots)
Two Extra 15 or 30 Shot Rifle Clips (precautionary)
22 Ruger Mark I pistol (silencers attach well, seldom jams, and can be broken down easily, It is very meditative to take it apart with your eyes closed, my friend tells me)
Hollow Point Bullets (among other things, they are harder to trace)
Extra Pistol Clip
Shoulder Holster (for style points and functionality)
Disposable Pistol Silencer (no explanation necessary)
Disposable Rifle Silencer (no explanation necessary)
Double Edged Knife with Six-Inch Blade (many uses)
Disposable Rubber or Surgical Gloves (no fingerprints)
Handcuffs
Ski Mask or Stocking Mask (ski masks are better for vision, stocking masks sometimes can help get “the jump” on someone because of the odd appearance.
Lock picks (to open locks …Skippy)
Mini-crow bar
Dark inconspicuous clothing

My friend says he always knows exactly what he is going to bring and double checks to make sure he has everything. He makes a mental “checklist”, so he never gets caught slipping. For him, the stakes are extremely high. I mean, imagine if you forget the silencer?

This made me think about how a G also needs a checklist for the equipment he needs for a night out. There are many parallels between what a Hitman needs and what a G needs to make a “Hit” on a night out as well. Here is what I recommend for a night out…..:

Identification (don’t leave this at home. You don’t want an overzealous bouncer stymieing your night, because some underage drinkers were in the spot the week before. I usually bring three or four sets of phony ID’s on a night out as well. This helps you maintain a lower profile at some night spots, and also helps with girls you meet who only know you by an alias. As a side note, I also like to keep at least 3 different passports on me at all times, currently I have a US, Irish, and British. Believe me, its well worth it.)

CASH (really goes with out saying. Credit Cards are for chumps and working stiffs. However, phony credit cards are good . The particular night at hand will determine how much scratch to bring. I really never like to leave the crib with less than a G, no pun intended. Get a nice money clip as well. Something with an emerald or a ruby on it always works….)

Smokes (Bring two packs minimum. If you have been going out for as long as I have, you will always run into people who think they “know” you and think they have the right to ask you for a smoke. You never really know if you will need to use that person in the future, so it’s better not to turn them down. What you don’t want to happen is the girl of your dreams to walk up to you at the end of the night and ask you for a smoke and you don’t have any…..Bring two packs….)

Gum or mints (With all the smoking and the Shrimp Scampi you ate earlier that night you don’t want to leave anything to chance. It’s good to keep these for girls too.)

Keys (Don’t forget these. There is nothing worse than rolling back to your crib with the girl of your dreams and your locked out of your own crib. Scaling the walls in a $3500.00 Brioni suit is never a pretty sight. Well, I guess it could be worse, you might have to scale a wall without a Brioni suit….)

Cell phone (for those of us out there who were G’s in the pre-cell phone era this is not life or death. For the younger ones out there this is very important. And, truth be told, it does make life easier, especially for on the fly moves. A back up cell phone or battery is not a bad idea if you are going out after a long day at the Race Track for instance….)

Pen (Make sure it works well. Sometimes you only have a few moments before a girls boyfriend comes back, and you don’t want to wait for that slow as molasses bartender to give you one, and the attitude he will give you because he thinks you wont give it back…..News just in, bartender guy….you wont get the pen back….)

Phone Book (this can be a folded up piece of paper with key #’s on it, ie girls you might want to meet on the fly, restaurant owners #’s, club owner’s #’s, etc. just in case your cell phone breaks or you lose it. A precautionary measure. Much like bringing an extra clip.)

Condoms (Some guys think that it is a “jinx” to bring them out. Well, News just in, I bring them out every night, and I am never “jinxed”. What would you rather do when you are in a limo headed over to her crib, stop at a gas station an hope that they have some? This piece of advice could save your life…..)

Zippos (Very important. Always bring two. You want every smoke you light up for yourself or a beautiful girl to be done with absolute, and I mean absolute style…..Is there any other purpose to life? Think about meeting the girl of your dreams and lighting her cigarette with a $1.99 lighter from 7-11? Doesn’t seem to work, right? You want two Zippos, because Zippos‘ flints break at times and you don’t want to jeopardize your style. Dunhill lighters can work as well (especially if you’re an East End London G) and strike anywhere matches can be used with style as well. But push comes to shove; the Zippo is your best bet….)

Obviously, with all these “tools” you need plenty of pockets. Hence the need for the custom made Brioni suits. Never leave home with out the tools of the trade. Think about a night out like a Hitman and you will have plenty of successful “Hits” in your career. The Rest is Up To You……………………….

Email of the week in regards to The G Manifesto Tip—Fight Night:

“7-8-9-10……….I have been TKO’d once again by the brilliance of “The Count of Monte Fisto’. This half man, half genius not only slept with my wife multiple times but he is creating a legacy of his own with air tight tips to securing entry to the most sought after sporting events of our time, Professional Boxing. I will study these tips closely like a Gaslamp Dweller studies which striped shirt he is going to wear to Sidebar. It may take time but with you as a guide I know I will be with De La Hoya when I follow him into the ring for his comeback fight in Vegas!!!! Cheers to you Bonecrusher!!!!”

Thanks…very enthusiastic…. “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”- Ralph Waldo Emerson …..MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Executioner
AKA The Golden Child
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Source

“The World is Yours” by Nas, G Manifesto Certified Track produced by the genius Pete Rock. Sick samples of “It‘s Yours” by T La Rock and “I Love Music” by Ahmad Jamal. If you don‘t have Illmatic, there is no helping you.

The World Is Yours – Nas

The Blueprint of a Perfect Night in Las Vegas

Las Vegas is leading the way for Western cities as far as Nightlife, Restaurants, Architecture and Design. A lot of this is due to Southern California’s need to be ultra conservative about things. Last call for drinks 1:30? Whose bright idea was that? Huge crack down of illegal night spots? Makes sense. Basically, they have made Southern California into a place that is very difficult to have fun at night. If someone tells you there is good nightlife in southern California, I will bet my last dollar that they are from some lame backwater or crappy suburban Middle America town……guaranteed they are from somewhere that’s way worse than Southern California. This all being said, Las Vegas has really stepped up to fill the void. But what is the best way to attack Vegas? First of all, never, ever, under any circumstances, yell, “Vegas Baby” or say “What ever happens in Vegas, stays in….” or any other genius, original sayings. If you get that part down, you’re better off than most people out there. But if you really want details, here is The Blueprint to a Perfect Night in Las Vegas (G Manifesto style):

8:00pm: As we have already covered, The Vegas Battlefield is won and lost on two questions, “Where are you staying?” and “What did you do earlier in the night?” That being said, you want to stay either at Wynn, Venetian, Bellagio, The Hotel (in Mandalay Bay) or in a pinch the MGM (not bad actually, if there is a Boxing Match). At 8 at night you want to be dipped in fresh gear (suits obviously, I prefer going with a tie in Vegas as well as pocket square….Brioni works well) and ordering a cocktail at the main casino bar for an opener. This is a good opportunity to lock down the bartender girl and some of the waitresses. Feel the vibe of the casino and make sure your ready for the night. Get your stories straight. Make sure your Zippos have plenty of fluid, working pen, plenty of smokes …etc. Pull data from bartender about any tips that might be new since the last time you were in town. No need to get panicky with the Grey Goose, you have plenty of time if you start at this time. That’s really the key, you want to start early. The more face time the better. If you’re dressed properly, and you use G Manifesto tactics, civilian girls will start gravitating over to you. Number crunch if there are some good prospects but don’t hang out too long because you need to eat a high-end meal and fuel up for the night…..

8:30pm Depending on which hotel you are staying, get another cocktail and an appetizer at the Second best restaurant in the Casino. This way you can hit two restaurants in a night. You might see a reasonably famous person (like a celebrity attorney or Aging athlete or actor) sitting at the restaurant bar eating solo. Go up and introduce yourself. Rap out with the cat. If you have game, and you make a good impression, he probably will pick up your tab for you (always offer to pick up the tab yourself). He might even give you some words of wisdom. Get his card for future and …..

9:15pm Shoot over to the best restaurant in the Casino and eat at the bar. This “chamber” is one of the best of the night. Again, pull data sheets from the bartender about new night spots. Now is a good time to intermix water in between the Gooses and Vino. Now is the time to enjoy yourself. Take your time. Chew your food. If you’re at Daniel Boulouds spot, get the short rib…..it’s slow cooked for 3 to 3 and a half hours. Although I have never been to a TGI Fridays, I am sure it’s better than anything they have on their menu to say the least. If you hit the best restaurant in any of the above mentioned Casinos, you are in for a real treat. If you get good rapport with the bartender he will probably pro-bono you heavy. If you are in a financial pinch, throw the meal on a phony credit card, or on someone else’s room number, preferably an enemy’s room number. Personally, I always pay CASH, and tip huge to keep the wheels greased for future. Make sure you get the Matre’ D’s card in case the next night you have a date with one of Steve Wynn’s friend’s daughters.

11:00pm The Casino Crawl. This part of the night is always interesting. This is the time of night when the girls who are smiling and winking at you from across the bar are not tourist girls who think you look like a young Andy Garcia and want to date you. The vast majority of these girls are pros. Real pros. The kind with a fee attached. This is another good opportunity to get your game up and running if you haven’t already. Talk to a few. Hey, if you meet one that looks exactly like Mariah Carey or Catherine Zeta-Jones, take her up on her offer. To each his own. I won’t judge you for it. However it’s better to leave the casino and move to the next step……….

11:45pm Shoot in cab over to Scores or some other Gentleman’s Club. You only want to be here for about an hour. This is where the “One-Three” rule applies. Your whole goal during this “chamber” of the night is to get One strong lead or Three loose leads. Girls usually can’t leave at this time anyway. You just want to get some good leads for later in the night. It’s like investing. Only this is much safer than Michael Milliken’s Junk bonds…..You want to try to split by 12:45 because that’s when status quo drunk Guy starts appearing at the Gentleman’s Clubs. If you stick around too long, you will start hearing people say, “Vegas Baby” or “What ever happens in Vegas, stays in….” So trust me…..get out of there.

12:55am The Nightclub. This is probably my least favorite part of the night. But it’s a necessary evil. I look at this point of the night as killing time. A good move is to “piggyback” on someone you know who has a VIP table so you don’t have to deal with the 500 people line to get in. Or freestyle it. It’s really not too hard to get into clubs in Vegas if you’re dressed sharp. For all of Vegas’s dapper history of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Bugsy Siegel, today’s Vegas, let’s face it, is a real Slob-fest. Very rarely will you see someone dressed as sharp as you. Personally, I never see someone dressed as sharp as me.

Once you’re in the nightclub, try to stay positive. Believe me, it will be hard to stay upbeat once you realize the DJ isn’t mixing and plays songs like “Jump Around”. The fact is, even with all the E Channel and Paris Hilton-Hollywood Hype, Las Vegas clubs are very sub-par. The DJ’s are generally speaking, horrible and the clientele is dressed up people who were eating at their local Dairy Queen two days prior. That being said, some of the girls are decent looking. But generally speaking, it’s a “Girls Gone Wild” crowd. Girls bringing back the Women’s Movement by lifting up there short skirts and doing phony “lesbian” dances. Don’t fall for it. Let “status quo Guy” fall for it. Guaranteed you will hear him say, “Vegas Baby”. Resist the urge to shove a rocks glass in his mouth or slit your own wrists. It will be all over soon. Most of these girls are sorority types on some kind of “Vegas sexual awakening” vibe that’s total crap. The bottom line that these are mostly Middle America white girls that can’t dance. Total amateurs. Personally, I like girls who Can dance. As you know by now, if its not models, I prefer pros……………..

3:00am Showtime. Head over to the best Gentleman’s Club Dejour. Shake hands on your way in and post up at the bar. Refer to the Manifesto Tip on Gentleman’s Clubs. Your home free now. Shift change is coming up and that room at Wynn you have will really pay for itself. In some of the Gentleman’s clubs in Vegas I have a better record than Rocky Marciano….and remember he was 49-0.

4:30am Roll back to your suite with girl(s) and enjoy……The Rest is Up to You.

(Repeat above night for as many nights as you mentally and physically can handle)

Side note:

To address all the rumors, yes, 50 Cent is a regular reader of The G Manifesto. The Manifesto was actually inspiration for his new “Window Shoppers” video being set in Monaco.

Now for the email of the week:

“With so much to be thankful for as the Holidays approach, no one is more thankful than I am for having Mr. Bond, sorry I meant Mr. Mason enlighten me with tips that have gotten me more hot ass than a toilet seat and a boy band combined in the past few months, cheers to you MPM, like the Guinness commercial BRILLIANT!!!”

—-never seen the Guinness commercial, but thank you—-MPM

“The G Manifesto is how I have lived my life..Sometimes people will call me a “bitch” but hey, I take it as a compliment. Why show Mercy to those who will destroy you if they get a chance??”—Cherilynn

—-There are girl G’s out there…….—–MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Matador of Metaphor
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Dates and The Vino Move

So, you met a fly girl out at night and she has agreed to go out on a date with you. What should you do? Should you take her to the movies to see that new Hollywood blockbuster? Should you take her to that new “hot” club in town where every guy is wearing striped “party” shirts and the DJ has no skillz? Should you take her to go see the new band she really likes? Should you play the “intellectual guy” and take her to a coffee shop for stimulating conversation? Should you just let her pick the place?

There are many different angles to take on a date with a girl, and most of them are wrong. In fact, the answer to all the above questions is “NO”. Movies are terrible in general and the girl will probably fall in love with the actor in the movie (who actually probably doesn’t even like girls). The club is a bad move because you leave yourself open to all kinds of sharks who “prey” on girls that are with guys on a first date. The live music thing? No dice. Why would you bring a girl to some gig where some other guy is the star? Coffee shop? Hell no, no cocktails. Let her pick the place? Are you insane?….that’s the easiest way to get “Behind Enemy Lines” (which of course we know how to deal with from a prior G Manifesto Tip). Here is how you do a date with a fly girl………. G Manifesto Style…….:

1. Choose the place. Never let the girl pick the place, or you’ll end up going to The Olive Garden for what she calls “the best Italian food I have ever had”. You need to pick the spot, preferably your “Base of Operations” or a new spot that’s mind blowing that you heard about from word of mouth or referral. Taking a fly girl to your Base will only increase your status at your Base, and also the girl will be impressed by the red carpet treatment you’re receiving. So everything works all the way around.

2. Make her meet you there. This part is extremely important as you will find out soon enough. Meeting the girl at your Base of Operations keeps your more agile and you don’t have to drink and drive. Also, this is what the Europeans and sophisticated city people do…they “meet up” or as the French say they “rendezvous”. White Trash suburban people go pick up the girl for the date…

3. Stake out a good spot in the restaurant. Always have your back to the wall. This way you can see everyone coming in….i.e. her current boyfriend, rival players, hit squads or members of P-2 (Propaganda Due, the renegade Italian espionage organization). Also, try to get there before her. This way if anything unforeseen happens (like your favorite bartender is sick) you will have plenty of time to establish rapport with the new bartender and Lock the place down “on the fly”. Plus this will give you some time to drink a couple of Grey Goose and Sodas to smooth it out…..

4. Once the girl arrives, always greet her with the “two-kisses” greeting. This always puts American girls under the “ether”. Or maybe it’s the custom made Canali suit with no vents. Either way, keep her hypnotized with upbeat, positive conversation. Travel is always a good topic of conversation to make sure there are no uncomfortable silences until the booze kicks in. Tell her stuff she has never heard before like, “the history of nightclubs in America” (which is easy for me since my parents took me to Studio 54 when I was seven years old) or about the real life “Keyser Soze” (who I won’t mention his real name) and how he controls America (which is easy for me since I know who he is and in fact my little brother is good friends with his son).

5. The Vino Move. As the night progresses, keep the Vino flowing at a brisk pace. Grease the bartender or waiter to make sure your wine glasses always stay full. In reality, these bottles don’t have to be the most complex/expensive bottles. First of all she probably won’t be able to tell the difference anyway, and second, sometimes it becomes a head ache analyzing every sip (“do you taste the black currant?” “Can you see how the wine is opening up?”) Just pick a good solid red; I prefer Bordeaux or a good Rioja. The whole point of this is you want the girl to be too drunk to drive herself home. (Lets be honest, the whole point of the date was too able to bring the girl back to your crib or a boutique hotel anyway.) After multiple bottles of red the girl will probably be in love with you anyway, and if she isn’t, she will be when you tell her that “I can’t let you drive, we have had too much to drink, let’s go to my crib for a glass of water”. The craziest part of all this is she will think you are a true Gentleman!

At this point in the night you will usually hear her say, “Ok, I will come to your crib, but I will not sleep with you…..” It is at this point in the night when you can truly relax and light up a smoke with your Zippo, because you are truly home free. Anytime a girl utters those words you can bet your last dollar that she will be tearing off the expensive Canali fabrics you have on the minute your key touches the lock of your door………..The Rest is up to You……….

The emails of the week in reference to: G Manifesto Tip: San Francisco, North Beach Cioppino, and The Pizza Move

“Once again the “Big G” shows how to manipulate the inner organs of America’s finest cities.”

“Man, i never even wanted to be a player, and now that i have seen the shining light from above, i know i was meant to be a “G.” I have just a couple of questions though… Where do you find a tailor that can make polyester look good, and should i put new duct-tape in the backseat of my pinto?”
———-skip the polyester, go with Italian silk, and ditch the pinto, pick up a cadillac———MPM

“Do people really live like this? Um, I don’t really see the point of this. Well written and all, but shouldnt it really be labeld ‘how to be a player’? Essentially, thats what you were describing, or maybe a a playboy, or a trustfund baby. Is this all you think there is to life? Well written, but maybe you need to evaluate your priorities some more. Maybe it’s just me, but this bothered me a little. You are a good writer, maybe you can actually write something of substance next time. Amy.”

——–Aren’t all girls named “Amy” the same? I met tons of girls named Amy in my life, and I can’t picture one of them. And you know what they say about pictures……… To be honest, Amy, this is written for true G’s and aspiring G’s. My “priorities” include (but not limited to): getting more out of life, having fun, dressing sharp, being a protector of the helpless, getting in touch with my spiritual side, dating models, influencing world politics for the betterment of humanity, making money and rolling around with High-Society girls (in no particular order). If these “priorities” are a crime, then lock me up…….——–MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Butcher
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(You can now subscribe to The G Manifesto Mailing list on the website www.thegmanifesto.com so you wont miss any tips….feel free to forward on to your friends as well)

San Francisco is a very G friendly city. You have chopable Gentleman’s Clubs, High-End Hotels, a diverse female population, and minimal competition (most of the guys are “window shoppers” with no game). San Francisco is also open late and the streets are very lively: a perfect venue to display “Street Game”. With a set up like this, sometimes I feel I will look in the sky and see a blimp that reads “The World is Yours”. The Restaurants are also some of the best in the USA and there are plenty of first rate late night dining options. Try getting some good food like foie gras, burratta, and Steak Tartare in most cities after 11 pm and you will come up empty handed. Unless “good food” means for you, Denny’s “moons over myhami” or 3 rolled Taquitos with guacamole. One thing to really try before leaving San Francisco is Cioppino…..

Cioppino is a fish stew mixed together greatly influenced by the Old Country (for those of you who don’t know what time it is). It was however created by fishermen who settled in the North Beach section of San Francisco. Michael Mina can put together a decent Cioppino. However, the recipes for this dish are kept highly secret. Now, I am not going to tell you how to make Cioppino, I leave that to the experts. What I am going to tell you in is a perfect “recipe” for swooping mad girls in San Francisco…… a “North Beach Cioppino” of sorts…….

The two ingredients (types of girls) you want to focus on in San Francisco are the “Sophisto” girls and the “Fly” girls. The Sophisto’s are the intellectual “elite” that are relatively high end, educated, and might know more about wine and haute cuisine than you. The Fly girls have no idea what white truffles are but they can do the splits upside down in a one-handed handstand, back-flips, or at least dance really dope. Both types of girls have a big value proposition associated with them. The Sophistos can help you navigate the High-end side of San Fran, and the Fly girls, well….its pretty obvious. My perfect Recipe is: one part Sophisto girl and two or three parts Fly girls. Here is how you mix up a night in San Fran….G Manifesto style.

Step one, meet the Sophisto girl at a dope spot like Traci Dejardin’s spot, Jardiniere (you can drop my name if you want). Pay attention to all the knowledge the Sophisto girl has about the wine and food and commit to memory (this is good ammo for other girls in the future). Keep the vino flowing. Keep the conversation to things like “The History of Boutique Hotels in America” or something else high-end. Then strike. Roll back to your real “boutique” hotel (as opposed to phony ones like the W) on some premise like that you want her to see the design work in the lobby and your room. Close. It will probably be around 11pm and she will need to get back to her weesh boyfriend anyway. Perfect. Time to go back out, (how else are you going to swoop 100 plus girls in a year? Not by staying in and watching Sports Center, that’s for sure….) Time for……….

Step Two; link up with the first Fly girl at her work (most likely Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club). Enjoy the atmosphere with plenty of grey goose and sodas. Develop new leads (which should be easy in a hand-stitched 2 button Kiton with peaked lapels and a thick bankroll) while your waiting for your girl to have “a minute”. She will probably get off work around 4am and she will probably want you to be her date to some “Swingers Party” or something along those lines. Once the 4am meeting place is established “in stone”, leave the Gentleman’s Club (no need to over do it). Hit the streets in North Beach for some street game and a very specialized move ……

Step Three, now here is the Technique that works 100% of the time (also works on two Fly girls at once). It should be around 2 am by now, and you need to “kill” time until 4am. Here is how you do it: Hit the streets like an Arturo Gatti body punch. Suited down, Zippos, smokes and alter-egoing on Goose. Regular clubs should be letting out around this time. This is a beautiful time of night. The man with the best street game wins. Step to one (or two) of the best prospects and offer to buy them some Pizza (that’s why this is called The Pizza Move…skippy). Girls never turn it down (not sure why, but it always works…… could be the Brioni pocket square). As your eating pizza with the girls spit mad game and get them to roll back to your Boutique hotel as well. If you can’t pull this off, then your problems obviously don’t end there. Now you just need to fight a little for a cab (or have a driver on your payroll) and your home free.

Step 4, after you close; make some excuse about how you have to be in Macau for a poker tournament tomorrow or something to get the girls to leave. Then go meet the first Fly girl at 4:30 am at your meeting point and roll to the Swingers Party with a girl that has Pig-Tails and can do back-flips in tow. (We will cover these kinds of parties in another G Manifesto tip). Till then, ….The Rest is Up to You……

Emails of the week (2 positive and one kind of spazzy) in reference to past G Manifesto Tips:

“Great transition from “spandex batman suit” to “jewelry store heist” I don’t know of any contemporary or classic author who has ever attempted to do that let alone pull it off in true G Manifesto style. Not only the peoples champ but a literary genius. I’m naming my first born son, Michael Porfirio Mason. Keep them coming.”

“So powerful, compelling and stylish the G not only pulled off a major heist on Halloween Eve but he also probably slept with our wives in our beds while we were all passed out……..”.

—Very true—MPM

“For reals, dude? This is absolutely despicable and terrible and a disgrace to “journalism”. I fucking hated it! Congrats! All this blab about $2300 suits and keeping drivers on payroll and whatevers…you’re so full of shit. The people’s champ… whatevers man. On the other hand—if this were done in total irony: fantastic. But people like you don’t understand Irony, right? And even The Onion couldn’t come up with an editorial this fake and funny.–Ken”

—- First of all Ken, don’t call me “dude”. Second, where do people come from that say “for reals” and “whatevers”? Look skippy, just because you’re a bagger at Walmart doesn’t mean people can’t afford to buy nice clothes and have drivers. No, I actually don’t understand complicated concepts like “irony” but I do understand that you need to go back to your trailer park that you share with your parents. Also, who the fuck is “The Onion”? Your imaginary friend? What an incredible jagoff…….——MPM …..

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Locksmith
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

California Sale – Save up to 30% on San Francisco! Book by 4/7/08 for travel from now to 4/14/08.

Manifesto Destiny: The Gentleman’s Club

How to Pick Up Exotic Dancers

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

This Decade so far has been a compendium of bad things: Horrible Natural and Terrorist disasters, astronomical oil prices (which I have made Money from because I know how to trade commodities), a war in the Middle East with the wrong Arabs, the male race turning into whining/ complainers, people not respecting their elders, people believing that White Trash is “cool”, messy hair being fashionable, Hip Hop culture morphing into materialistic crap for suburban white kids, the corporatization of what was once hip, people protesting restaurants serving foie gras, the persecution of smoking indoors, Reality TV.

The one thing that has stayed relatively unchanged thru the decade is the value of Gentleman’s Clubs. Although they have been cracked down on a little, they are still as relevant as ever. Today’s Manifesto Tip, is Beginner Concepts to making these joints pay for themselves. And pay attention, because if you have ever been in a Gentleman’s Club and seen the most beautiful girl you have ever seen, and said to yourself: “I wonder what kind of guy that girl goes home with after she gets off work?” The answer is: I am that Guy…………………………

1. Attire. We have already covered how you want to dress in other manifesto tips. Basically the only question you should be asking yourself is: “Should I wear a tie or not?” If you roll to the Gentleman’s Club with another guy a good move is: one with tie, one without. This way you have all your bases covered. While we are on the subject, rolling solo is a good move in these places. Going with someone else should only be done if the other person has plenty of game and is an advocate of “The Life”…….Look at the flip side: Stepping into the joint with 4 buddies with Sigma PI Alumni T-Shirts on is going to get you absolutely no where. At best you will end up looking like the other 5 Jerkoffs who are already in the Club with the Beta Nu shirts on….and trust me ….they aren’t getting anywhere either……….

2. Entrance. So roll in solo or with one other person who knows what time it is. Have a good positive vibe going. No need to yell and “whoop it up”…….keep it smooth….shake the bouncers hands…..These guys can potentially ruin your “close” later on in the night…so get them on your team…grease them….if you are starting to notice some common themes with prior tips, that’s good…that means your paying attention…(Also, if your in NYC at the Penthouse Executive Club, these guys will let you go in and out of the bar to smoke cigarettes with no hassle….I mean, what’s that worth? Certainly a C-Note)

Click Here to Buy The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss

Click Here to Buy How to Pick Up Strippers by Gary Brodsky

Click Here to Buy Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life By Neil Strauss

3. The Bar. After you have made your entrance, head to the Bar. Don’t get a table or sit by the stage. Every girl will try to fleece you and you will appear to be a “mark”. Plus, that’s what every jackass does when they walk into a Gentleman’s Club. The whole idea is to separate yourself from the Status Quo. News just in….The Status Quo does not end up going home with Exotic Dancers……Also, no lap dances…..for the same reason. Getting the bartender on your team is also a good move…if the bartender is a beautiful girl, all the better…..she can make a great ally and give you plenty on “intel” on the joint….and she may want to kick off her heels, stretch her legs and drink a glass of Vino with you at your luxury hotel suite as well……..

4. Vernacular. Make sure you use proper “speak” in Gentleman’s Clubs. Even if an Exotic Dancer refers to herself as a “stripper”, correct her, tell her she is an “Exotic Dancer”. If she calls it a “Titty Bar”, correct her…it’s a “Gentleman’s Club” This will transcend into your whole aura and girls will view you as a man of style and taste. This again will separate you from the sheep. Obviously, you want to be the Lone Wolf, Top Predator, with Top Pedigree in this “Ecosystem”. Growing up, Irish Mobster/ Playboy, Butch O’Farrell once told me (although I don’t approve of his choice of language), “Treat the queens like whores, and treat the whores like queens.” Obviously, this is an extreme example, but Butch makes a great point here (Butch………. rest in peace).

5. Drawing Exotic Dancers in. The $1800.00 suit you have on obviously helps. So does having plenty of smokes, a Zippo, and flashing a Big Bankroll when you buy Goose and Sodas. These girls tend to notice things like these better than “Civilian” Girls. Buy the Dancers plenty of drinks…no explanation necessary. Again, no need to yell, whistle or cat call. Seem disinterested…seem bored….like seeing naked girls is really no big deal for you…. (Which for me, isn’t a big deal, in fact a topless girl is rubbing my shoulders as I write this….) either way…at least act like this is just another night for you… (which for me, it is)…….very quickly, girls will be coming up and introducing themselves to you as if you were Sherman Billingsley at the Stork Club……

6. The Rap. The key to your rap is to get the girl to lower her guard, qualify the girl, and get her interested in what you have to offer. Keep in mind the most beautiful “Pam Anderson” type girl might not be the best move….go with the best prospect that you have the best connection with… (Plus, often times you have to compete with that Oil Sheik Money for the Pam Anderson ones). Once you have found the right girl, you need to have the right answers to topics that will always come up: Your Occupation? Now is not the time to be honest and tell her you are an Accountant……or a computer Programmer….or that you’re in town for an Insurance Salesman’s Conference. Come up with something mysterious and interesting i.e.…..”I am involved in Import/ Exports based out of Miami” or “I do Leveraged Buyouts” or “I am in the Emerald Business with offices in Switzerland and Columbia” …………when I was younger, I went with: “I am a Stuntman in Hollywood…mostly Car and Motorcycle stunts with some fight scenes…you have seen “Heat” with Pacino?…right?…” The point is come up with something vague, that implies CASH, organized crime, or something dangerous or cool……just make sure the story is air tight. For instance, if you go with the Emerald business, make sure you know that “three main Emerald mining areas in Colombia are the Muzo, Coscuez and Chivor mines” just in case the girl’s dad was an Emerald Trader. Or if your a stunt man, and you drop some movies that you were in, know the names of the real stunt men in the movies from the credits and say that was your “alias”….you get the point.

Do a lot of name dropping. Tell girls that Chris Pacello of Liquid was a good friend of yours before he got sent up the river. Or how Jean-George Vongerichten is one of your business partners…..don’t be afraid to get a little Hollywood, maybe say that Andy Garcia is one of your cousins on the Spanish side…or Mickey Rourke is your 2nd cousin on your Irish side….(News just in….Exotic Dancers actually like that Hollywood crap).

Make some subtle, big plans with the girls. For instance: “I do a lot of Banking in the Bahamas……for tax reasons…..have you ever been to The Atlantis? You haven’t? ……I have a place there….we should go next time I go down there…….its so beautiful…..”

7. The Close. The art of closing is more in what leads up to the close than the actual close itself. The clichéd move is the drugs/cocaine close….although I am not an advocate, this is known to be very effective close, but is far from artistic……Asking the girl to meet you at the lobby bar in a 5-star hotel or at a great open restaurant are also very effective closes….My favorite close I am saving for another manifesto… (Hey, I told you these were going to be beginner tips……)

These tips when used correctly, are extremely effective. The only competition you will face will be from Pro-Athletes, Musicians on MTV, and Hollywood Actors. However, I can recall an evening in Ricks Cabaret in New Orleans when there was a singer from some crappy, famous band, a Superstar from the World Champion Chicago Bulls, a well-known Actor and myself all enjoying the “subdued environment” of Ricks. Although these three guys are at the top of their “respected” fields, they were all “riding the bench” when I was in the Club with them, as I came out Tops on the night……….true story….The Rest Is Up To You…….

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Don’t be weesh. Sign up The G Manifesto Newsletter!

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com/

(The G Manifesto is really starting to become critically acclaimed. A famous New York Publicist has recently called me: “The Voice of a Generation”……funny, the only thing I can remember my Voice saying consistently is “Princess, I’ll meet you at the Lobby Bar of the Ritz-Carlton in a half an hour”………go figure)

t-pain im in love with a stripper
I’m in Luv with a stripper