Luckily, I got a guy in New York that I know, so everything worked out great.
However, I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a Cobbler on Lock.
Just yesterday, I dropped off four pairs of shoes to my guy for his old world craftsmanship and hung out with him for a while to hear stories of the old country. I even spoke a little Italian to him. (For style points, of course.)
The result:
Tax free purchases (paid in CASH of course) Pro-Bono Shoe Shines Multiple Pro-Bono hole punches in my belt (I have been really getting into tip top shape spending time at the newly re-opened Legendary 5th Street Gym in Miami Beach and Sparring in Bogotá)
Plus I got to hear some stories of back when America was great (pre-skinny jeans, pre-glittery shirts, pre-Bottle Service, pre-smoking bans, you know, back when there was freedom) and support a dying art in a country that forgot what quality is.
Traveling has become a real drag lately. Or I should say the “process” of traveling has really become a drag. Here are some tips for Americans to make traveling more enjoyable for all involved.
Go easy on the carry-ons
I know that Airlines sometimes lose bags, but everyone needs to start going easy on the carry-ons. Or at least people need to go easy on carry-ons if they can’t handle them. (If you can’t lift your bag into an overhead, check it. This is more directed at men, women and the elderly are excused). Personally, I always check my bags. It keeps me more agile for swooping girls in airports.
Fat-Free Flights
Ok, so we now have smoke-free flights. Now that Obesity is the #1 killer in America, and with Obesity rates in our Country hitting something like 95%, it would only make sense if we had Fat–People-Free flights. Right?
In the good old days, people used to dress with style and elegance when they traveled. Today, as we all know, it’s a real slob fest. It’s embarrassing. If I see one more girl in Ugg boots and sweats or another fool in a “hipster fedora”, I may take down a plane myself. Recently, I was on a flight where there were three weesh Twenty-something American girls in, get this, Pajamas. And it was a weesh connecter from the Midwest to the East Coast. It wasn’t like we were flying to Macau to chill with the Ho family or something.
Please, have some respect for yourself, and Dress Sharp.
I honestly think when people in the future look back to the fall our country; they are going to trace it to the loss of freedom (ie smoking bans, TSA) and loss of self-respect (people dressing like slobs).
And don’t even get me started on Stewardesses today.
If you are lucky in “The Life” and have the pleasure of swooping a fly Colombiana and she invites you to a big Colombian Family Gathering, jump like House of Pain at the opportunity.
The other night I went over to the palatial casa of the family of a fly Colombiana that I am having a Mini-Relationship with. It was dope:
We walk in, and there are 6 different women cooking in the kitchen; La Madre, Hermanas, Primas, Abuelas, Sobrinas etc. My girl tells me to sit down with her 2 Suited Down Primos and El Padre and jumps into the fray in the kitchen.
The women continue to bring me non-stop cervezas as I kick back and rap out with the other 3 men present about football, boxing and biz. I don’t have to lift a finger.
Little primas jump all over me until I tell them to chill out as I don’t want them to wrinkle up my Custom Suit or spill Postobon Manzana on my luxurious fabrics.
We then feast on mindblowing Ajiaco, Bandeja Paisa, Morcilla, Chicharrón, and mad Arepas. Mad Aguilas.
We have like 16 women catering to our every need.
This is how Life should be.
And its quite a sharp contrast from American girls that can’t cook their way out of a brown paper bag. And I don’t mean that DJ Khaled track either.
In other prostitution news:
Sen. Reid calls for ending legal prostitution
Sen. Harry Reid called for the abolishment of Nevada’s legal brothel trade Tuesday in a speech before the Legislature.
“So let’s have an adult conversation about an adult subject,” Reid said. “Nevada needs to be known as the first place for innovation and investment — not as the last place where prostitution is still legal. When the nation thinks about Nevada, it should think about the world’s newest ideas and newest careers — not about its oldest profession.”
Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch and Love Ranch brothels in Lyon County, sat in the Assembly chamber during the speech, along with nine sex workers that work at his brothels.
“We should do everything we can to make sure the world holds Nevada in the same high regard you and I do,” Reid said. “If we want to attract business to Nevada that puts people back to work, the time has come for us to outlaw prostitution.”
Michael Mason: I like Ozwald Boateng, however I have mad respect for all the cats on Savile Row (one of my favorite streets in the world). I made a stop by Ozwald Boateng on Savile Row last September when I was in London. I picked up some dope shirts and they were really hyping me up on thinner ties so I picked up a few. Top notch blokes. I rolled with them a little during London Fashion Week as well.
Question: You have mentioned before the Custom Suits help a G gain “access”, can you elaborate?
Michael Mason: Sure. Here is a perfect example:
I was in Miami Beach a month or so ago doing some biz and some sparring at the legendary, newly re-opened 5th St. Gym. I wrapped up dinner early and had nothing to do. I decided to swing by the Fountainebleau Hotel for a drink. Nothing was really happening there except this private party which had mad people and tons of fly girls. Everyone was Suited Down.
Since I was Custom Suited Down myself, I had no problem slipping into the gig (I saw a few weesh underdressed “regular guys” get denied entry) and gorging myself on pro-bono cocktails and Stone Crabs. Made a decent biz connect and left the gig with two fly girls in cocktail dresses and high-heels a few hours later.
If you can pull all of that off in jeans and a T-shirt, you should be selling “Game lessons” to the masses at 100k per pop.
Question: Do you think girls like men in suits?
Michael Mason: Of course skippy. Here is a little tale:
One of my good friends is the opposite of a Suited Down G. However, he is still straight G, a pro surfer; but he typically just rocks boardshorts if it is up to him.
Recently, he pulled me aside at this nightclub and said, “I have to admit after all this time, you are right. My girlfriend told me the other night, that she loves when I wear a Suit.”
And this is coming from a fly rich Southern California beach girl who conventional thinking would lead one to believe she would hate guys that are Suited Down.
Question: Do you always wear a tie?
Michael Mason: I go through phases. A few years ago, I almost always wore ties. Lately I haven’t worn them at all (unless the gig called for it). I think I am on the verge of going on another heavy “tie run”.
If you are not wearing a tie, make sure you wear a pocket square. Matching or non-matching are both dope.
My tie collection is so ill, I figure why not?
Question: Which venues do you think Custom Suits work best?
Basically everywhere a G finds himself on a typical day or evening.
Question: Can people really tell the difference between an Off-the-rack suit and a Custom Suit?
Michael Mason: If by “people” you mean the majority of fly girls you want to swoop, then no.
However, when I first walked into my current tailors’ shop for the first time, I was wearing a Gucci Suit and he proceeded to rip it apart so badly that I would only probably wear it now if I was going to go hang sheetrock or something.
So yes, the trained eye can easily tell the difference.
Question: Which body types work best while Suited Down?
Well, lets see. If you are in mad good shape, a Custom Suit is crazy dangerous. If you are mad skinny, you can look super fresh in a dope suit. If you are a fat f*ck, then you better wear a suit.
So I would say all body types.
Question: What is a “must-have” accessory to a Custom Suit for an up-and-coming G on the rise?
Michael Mason: A pocket square of course. But maybe more important is a lit cigarette. Watch this if you need to know how its done:
Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong – Old 50’s Live show
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
(Side note: To my friends that have been away in prison for the last five to ten years and are reading this now just as you got out, a little clarification might be needed. When I was referring above to “glittery shirts and super tight jeans” I was referring to how guys dress these days, not girls. And yes, I am being serious. Amazing as it may seem for someone who has been “away”, American “males” now actually wear shirts with glitter on them and splotchy designs and guys wear tight jeans. It’s true, there is only so much I can do to keep our country in check).
Anyways, I will answer some of your questions below.
Question: Are there certain cities where being suited down wouldn’t be an advantage or may even be a disadvantage?
Michael Mason: Well I know for sure it is an advantage in NYC, LA, New Orleans, Las Vegas, SF, Miami Beach, Beverly Hills, DC, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, ATL as I have come up Aces in all while Suited Down. Internationally, the list would get pretty long.
In the last year I can confirm: Buenos Aires, Barcelona, Sevilla, London, Riga, Latvia. I didn’t go Suited Down in Cartagena, Colombia which is coincidentally where I took a loss to Gabriel García Márquez.
Not sure about Rancho Cucamonga, CA, Deadhorse, AK or Surprise, AZ. Nor do I intend on finding out. Why don’t you check for me and report back? Fair enough?
Question: Do you think there’s a big drop off in results with quality of suit. For instance, can a guy swoop girls in a $200-300 suit that looks decent and get 90% of the results of a guy in a custom made suit?
Michael Mason: I love how people always want shortcuts.
That being said, you are in luck as from my experience the answer is yes. A little story: back when I was a super young proto-type G cub, I went to a super sick wedding on top of The World Trade, Windows on the World. (Pre-911 obviously). Let’s put it this way, the cake supposedly cost $75,000.
It was West coast Newport beach/Hollywood money meets NYC Hedge fund money flush from the Internet Bubble. All kinds of competition from heavy finance cats and actors. I was a young up and coming Playboy on the Rise in a $300 suit.
Came in with so much swagger I swooped the flyest girl at the wedding right out from under everyone.
Clean KO. (Disclaimer: I was the best friend of the oldest brother of the bride. So I did have a “leverage point”.)
That was the first time I cracked the Top 100 American Playboys list.
So yes, it can be done. And done against top-flight competition as well.
Question: Who is your tailor? Who is this “mystery man”?
Michael Mason: Do me a favor. Actually, it is pretty easy to figure out. He is the best tailor in America and has a supreme clientele of famous people you know. However, I am his favorite client.
He is a super cool old-school cat that knows all the heavies from years gone by. Sometimes I just go hang out in his tailor shop and rap out with him for hours. I consider him a key member of my “team” and a great friend as well.
Question: Do you ever fear you will come off as a cheesy Wall Street Guy when you wear Suits?
Michael Mason: No. But then again, with my ethnic mix (half IRA, half ETA) and since I look like a slightly more Irish-Blooded “Manolo” in Scarface or young Andy Garcia, I get accused, more often, of looking like a high-end drug smuggler more than a Wall Street Cat. Which I have come to realize isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
(Another Side note: Seriously, if Martin Scorsese or Francis Ford Coppola ever wanted to make an epic about drug smuggling, they would be remiss in not casting me in the part of the brutally handsome young drug smuggler with South American, Miami Beach and California Connections. I would of course turn down the role. This “Life as an International Playboy” thing I got going on is way too good to sacrifice.)
Plus my suits are different than theirs.
Question: What are your thoughts on the current state of men’s fashion in America?
Michael Mason: I have said it before and I will say it again, My Grandfather always told me; “Style and Taste are for men. Trends and Fashion are for the ladies.” G’s stick with Style and Taste.
Since fashion has 98% of American men wearing either glitter on their shirts or tight jeans these days, it’s not too much of a stretch to think American fashion will have the majority of American men wearing skirts and dresses in a few years.
Is it?
To be continued…
Third Side Note: Sometimes I don’t know what is weirder; the fact that 98% of American males wear either/or glittery shirts or tight jeans, or the fact that I am the only one that seems to question this fact.
(Fourth Side Note: I have that same sports coat with the big houndstooth check that Benny Siegel is wearing above. Of course, I had to have it custom made).
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
