The Smugglers Blues

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

“Pyrex Stirs turned into Cavalli furs
The full length cat, when I wave, the kitty purs
All my niggaz caped up, selling grey and beige dust
Had that money right or end up in the trunk taped up
We don’t chase a duck, we only raise the bucks
Peel money rolls until our thumbs get the papercuts

Wanna know the time? Better clock us
Niggaz bite the style from the shoes to the watches
We cloud hoppers, tailored suits like we mobsters
Break down keys into dimes and sell ’em like gobstoppers”

(Sick lyrics from “Me too” by Pusha T and Malice from Clipse featuring Pharrell, G Manifesto Certified Track of the Week)

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

People are constantly saying to me, “How do you have the CASH to cruise around the world, stay out all night, date models and live the Charmed life of an International Playboy? Great question. Everyone seems to be strapped for cash these days. Everyone seems to be a few dollars short on the lunch bill. Go to a dinner with ten people? Better not be the last around the check or your going to get stuck for a grip. Everyone is forgetting to tip their waiter these days. Who knows what it is? Gas prices? Credit Card Juice payments? Overleveraged on exotic mortgages? (as a rule of thumb go with exotic girls, not exotic mortgages)

The G Manifesto is going to deal with some of these issues. A true G doesn’t really have a lot of these problems. Gas Prices? I make CASH off rising gas prices by buying “calls” in the Commodity Markets (in fact, if the cost is going down I by “puts”. I don’t really care which way the market moves as long as I am on the right side of the trade.) Credit Cards? Don’t use them. I use CASH. Mortgages? I can’t stand real estate people. I pay CASH for cribs and get them out of my life as quickly as possible. So “..Where do you get the money?…” Again, Great question. Here is one answer:

I was having a conversation recently with one of my childhood friends (who shall remain nameless) over dinner at The Restaurant, Alex in Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas. (By the way Alex is really first rate. Alex Stratta really knows what he is doing, if you need to make sure you get a good table, you can drop my name, I am easy like that, but that is neither here nor there.) My friend, who is a first rate G, put simply, is a Smuggler. He is a true legend in two games like Pee Wee Kirkland. He has really none of the cash flow problems that most Americans have. He has a closet full of custom Italian suits, dates models, travels tons, lives the life of an International Playboy, and most important, he is liquid. (I would be lying if I didn’t say that my tie collection is far better than his, but in his defense he doesn’t roll ties too often and usually opts to go “blown open”). Being a Smuggler is a tricky job where like Big Daddy Kane said “Ain’t no half stepping”. You really need to go “all in” like Johnny Chan at the World Series of Poker. The upside is you can take all the vacation time you want and you don’t have to fill out any forms during a job interview. There is also excitement, challenge, adventure, and tons of Scratch. For the type G personality, this job is like Nirvana (and I am not talking about that early 90’s band where the guy shot him self and left his head all red like that little orphan Annie either). I figured I would share some of the highlights of our conversation on the Keys to being a Smuggler and the similarities with being a G. (keep in mind I have never been involved in this line of work, but I have worked for a Import/ Export company that was based out of Miami, so draw your own conclusions.)

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

It really doesn’t matter what you Smuggle; Columbian Beaks or Dutch Beans, Croatian Cigarettes or Cuban Cigars, Russian Heaters or Panamanian Platinum, Sierra Leone Diamonds or Sri Lankan Sapphires, its all about not paying tariffs (avoid human smuggling and sex trade smuggling, leave that to the Snake Heads). The basics are the same.

1. Data gathering, planning and Execution. These are really the cornerstones for the Smuggler G. You have to know what you’re doing and really visualize the mission going down the right way. Glass half-full type stuff. Very similar to Components of a Magical Night.

2. Always work in a small team. This again is very similar to a night out for the G. Never allow anyone in your crew that you haven’t known for a minimum of 5 years. Don’t bring anyone “along for the ride” either. Every person must have a function. Pilots, Mechanics and Boat Captains are worth there weight in gold (and I don’t mean Solid Gold that Gentleman’s Club in North Miami Beach). Same thing when you go out at night. You don’t want to bring some skippy along for a major heist who isn’t gonna pull his weight with CASH, connections, juice, on the fly ideas… etc.

3. Have a reliable Source Man. This is one of the most important aspects. I can’t even comprehend how many times I have heard my friend say “no product, no money”. The Source Man needs to get the loads prepared, make sure the landing strips are legit and make the payoffs. It’s not unlike knowing the Doorman and VIP host at a nightclub. You need someone to really take care of you. You don’t want the VIP host to give away your table just because some jackass Actor guy rolled into the spot, for instance.

4. Have good tools of the trade. Transportation (boats, planes), radar detection, and weapons (many old school smugglers swear against weapons….my friend always brings a Desert Eagle for rival crews…who am I to argue with him?). Also, my friend dresses sharp when he smuggles. He has a penchant for Valentino and Roberto Cavalli suits and Gucci Loafers. It’s important to look smooth when you’re smuggling if you want to be the best.

Click Here for Drug Smugglers on Drug Smuggling: Lessons from the Inside

5. Always use aliases. When you’re a Smuggler, you have to do everything with fake identification (remember all this is illegal, although it has been around since government imposed taxes). Its also standard practice for a G to use Aliases when he is in any city for any extended period of time. With the amount of girls that I know and date, it’s imperative that I use fake names. Dating four girls at the same that work at the same nightclub is nearly impossible without the use of Aliases. Hell, I’ve dated two sisters at the same time by using aliases…true story. The key is you have to be careful when one sister says “You have to meet my sister, you and her will get along so well……” I was really surprised a few years later, when I saw both of them at the same time in a Nightclub. But, I was smooth enough to convince them that I had an identical twin brother…..

6. Getting the product In-country. The main thing to figure out is if you are going to do it by boat or by plane. My friend prefers plane. This is similar to when you are going to a dope nightclub. You need to figure out if you are going to pay your way in, talk your way in, or use the back or side door. In smuggling however, you can vanish (and I don’t mean Vanishing Pinstripes on my new Etro suit….thanks Kean) if you don’t pay off the right people.

7. Making the transaction. The best way is to already have a buyer for your product. You don’t want to be sitting on product and negotiating and crap. This will only expose you to potential problems and gets you in closer contact with people you want no part of. This differs from when you roll out at night. It’s more fun to “wheel and deal” with girls at the spot than to have something already set up. If it’s already set up, what’s the point of going out in the first place? Better off settling into a Super Tuscan or California Cult Cabernet and some Goat Cheese Raviolis, and Carpaccios or some Squid Ink Linguine. Or a lamb filet and côtelette, ratatouille, goat cheese liquid, pommes Briana and thyme essence with a Snow Bunny.

Obviously, you have to deal with many more aspects to be a Top Ranked Smuggler, like Rinsing Money (we will handle in a later installment of The G Manifesto), dealing with snitches, people flipping, hideouts, and cool out periods. This should be enough to get you started for now, those credit card juice payments can be a real pain. The Rest is Up to You……………

Emails of the week from Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes:

“I couldn’t close a screen door before reading this and after studying each line after receipt I popped my turtle into 2 skanks this weekend fresh out of Stingaree rolling on beans.
You have a fucking aura about you Kizer, I am bitch slangin’ male gigolo now. I picked up a nickel plated Eagle a few weeks ago and keep that in the inner pocket of my Baby Blue Armani custom fitted. I am jet broke right now, but looking to pull off a heist soon. I hope we don’t butt heads at the same bank, going against a legend is a scary thought.”

and

“For those that are not skilled in the science of the “close” this was a real eye opening article. For so many years I tried to be the nice guy and if it happened it happened. I saw these beautiful women hanging out with skinny white kids with wrinkly shirts from Tahoe pulling bar snacks out of their pocket and I just didn’t get it. I took your words to the streets, to the hilltops and to the nightclubs and to my amazement they worked. Another great life changing article Mr. Mason. I don’t think the average person understands the gems that are found in your wisdom. This is like studying Martial Arts from Master Azato or Master Itosu. It’s one of life’s opportunities that only come around every thousand years. I’m sure that some just push the G Manifesto aside as the misogynistic ramblings of a mad man but there is real genius to it if one has the patience to read between the lines. Master Mason I am forever indebted.”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Moon Curser
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Mr. Me Too by Clipse featuring Pharrell Williams

Mr. Me Too – Clipse featuring Pharrell Williams

Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes

Click Here to Buy The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss

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This week we are going to go into some real effective and proven closes. Keep in mind that closing is only limited by the G’s imagination. Of course, when you are in a nightclub and you have a girl on the ropes, you can tell her that you will buy her a yacht or a condo, and if you dress as fresh as I do she probably will believe that you have that kind of liquid dough. But you obviously don’t want to get called on the carpet and be stuck with a new condo in a bloated real estate market. So here are some relatively easy closes with limited downside potential, and unlimited upside….you can’t get a better deal than that, right?

The Champagne Close

This close has fewer holes than Winky Wrights’ defense. Part of the strength of this close is that it’s universal in nature. Younger girls, older girls, French Vanilla girls, Butter Pecan girls, Chocolate-deluxe, Caramel Sundaes, Upper Eastside Mobiles, Ford model girls, Sophistos, Playboy Playmates, Penthouse Pets, Otto Zutz Girls, Suicide Girls, Razor Dolls, Exotic Dancers, College Girls, Girls who can’t spell “College”, and Stewardesses flying around the world all love champagne. Girls that have never had it even love the idea of Champange. Even girls who don’t like you and think that your attitude is arrogant, cocky, rude will buy into this one. Girls that don’t even want anything else to drink, their eyes will brighten up with even the mere mention of “You like Champagne right? Let’s get out of here, get a bottle of and drink it in my Suite”. The key to that line is you have to deliver it in the most unassuming and nonchalant way possible. You can over sell it if your too pushy, as if your trying to buy the girl with the champagne. You have to say it as if you were saying “let’s go outside and get some fresh air”. Like it is something that you do every day (which is easy for me because I do). Smooth chill and Tranquilo. As with many things, it is not so much what you say, it is how you say it. Practice makes perfect. (It obviously helps to be wearing a Three Button Grey Zegna, steel blue Brioni shirt, Aqua, red and black Zegna Exclusivo tie, and black Valentino pocket square- Art Deco Gangster Style). For the financially challenged, roll by the Bodega on the way home and pick up an inexpensive bottle of Spanish Cava.

The Las Vegas Close (aka the Travel Close)

(This one works real well on Southern California girls because it’s so believable.) Vegas is one of the greatest marketing schemes ever created by humans. Let’s face it, if you gamble, and you don’t cheat, you Will lose your money (Personally, I always take the “gamble” out of gambling). Yet people love to go to Vegas and give away their money. Its great marketing spin of the highest degree. So take advantage of it. Girls love the idea of the excitement, action, and (phony) glamour of Las Vegas. One of the best move is to weave Vegas into conversation with a girl (really not that hard) and once you get positive feedback say something along the lines of “lets hang out tonight, and tomorrow we’ll roll to Vegas”. Girls think they like being spontaneous or something. Keep in mind you never really have to go to Vegas the next day. You can always come up with some excuse in the morning, like “I completely forgot, I am getting my final fitting on some custom suits, and my tailor, William Fioravanti, flew in from NYC for one day” or “I got a message that my racehorse fell during his morning workouts, there is no way I can go Vegas now!” In fact, I must have used The Las Vegas Close over three hundred times, and I if my memory serves me correct, I have never flown a girl to Las Vegas……… (obviously, if you are in Vegas, you can’t use this one. Be agile; just insert Miami Beach or New York, or the Caribbean for Las Vegas).

Click Here to Buy The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss

Click Here to Buy Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life By Neil Strauss

The Spa Close

I have pulled myself out of “towering infernos” and “perfect storms” with The Spa Close. This is also one of the most deadly. It is similar to being bitten by The Sydney Funnel-Web spider (in my opinion the most deadly spider in the world). It’s no secret that girls love Spas. Like both the above closes, you hit the Greed button as stated in “The Six Elements of Picking up Girls”. The Spa Close implies money, taste, and style. All Girls dream about meeting guys that will take them to the Spa. Why not play into it? This one seriously works like 100% of the time. It’s very Zen. The devil is in the details. You have to really have to sell the special “treatments” that they do at the spas. Start talking about how amazing the “Hydrating Coconut-Pineapple Crème Scrub” is or how incredible you feel after the “Honey Milk Body Wrap”, or how can’t miss the “Hot Basalt Stone Therapy” is at this spot. Really do your research and become an Aficionado. I am not sure what it is but girls fall under the “Ether” (and when I say “Ether” I don’t mean that track that Nas torched Jay-Z on) when you talk about this stuff. Girls are so far down the canyon at this point that they offer very little defense when the Indians come out.

(The next two Closes are a little more High-Risk, but effective none the less)

The Room Service Close

This is real similar to the Champagne Close. It works real well on Exotic Dancers and waitress/ Bartender girls. The only draw back is you can eat too much and kill the mood (and when I say “mood” I don’t mean that nightclub “Mood” in LA). So remember to order light. Stick to shrimp cocktails, tartares, things like that. Never let her order the nachos. (It always amazes me how girls don’t hardly eat at dinner, at the sickest restaurant with Guy Savoy manning the stove, and late night, they get the appetite of Buster Douglas after he beat Tyson.)

The Split-Bean Close

I love this one. I might have even created it. It’s always good to “trial close” this one. Try it on the wrong girl and you can really un-spool the deal. Plus you might have a sore back the next day. Or Strychnine poisoning. It’s best to make someone guinea pig the beans first. But if you hook into some of that early 90’s stuff, you are in for a real treat.

So there are Five basic closes. These all work extremely well. In fact, I try not to use them anymore because they are almost Too effective. I am an innovator by background, so I am always trying new closes and pushing the outer limits of Game. You have to stay one step ahead, right? Later we will cover more advance closes like: The House of Mirrors Close, The “El Ocho”, The Three Devils Close, The Dallas Winston Close, The Rusty James Close, The Soda Pop Curtis, The Snake and Crane Close, The Hell in a handbasket Close, The “Made you look”, The Magic Missile, The Something in My Eye, The Extraordinary Technique Close, The Let them Eat Cake Close, The Three Avengers, The Only Built for Cuban Linx, The Iron Monkey Close, The Praying Mantis Close, The Drunken Monk, The Don Juan DeMario, The “I’ve become a Playboy” Close, The Latin got Hot, The Wire, The Venus Fly Trap, and The Shimmering Snake, among others. Till then…….The Rest is Up To You…….

Click Here to Buy The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss

Click Here to Buy Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life By Neil Strauss

Side Note:

All three Politicians I backed won their Elections on Tuesday. Much like hitting a trifecta at the Track. Looks like it will be a good summer……

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Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Ice Cream Man
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

The Six Elements of
Picking Up Girls

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

(Here is my Facebook, New Twitter and The G Manifesto Fan Page)

News: 10/8/07

Since this G Manifesto was written there have been many Manifesto’s to address How to Pick up Girls:

How to pick up girls and close: Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes

How to pick up girls during the day: Sunshine Maneuvers

And How to pick up Girls on the Street: Street Game…It’s kinda like The Crack Game

And of course, everyone’s favorite on how to pick up three girls at once: The Trio….How to Pick up Three Girls at Once

This page has very quickly turned into the best resource for Picking up Girls on the Internet…..

Update: 3/18/09

Great resources for picking up girls:

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

This G Manifesto is extremely important. This data, up until now has been highly guarded information, and revealing it could probably get me in trouble. It’s not unlike when Chinese Martial Artists started to reveal the secrets of hand to hand combat and self-defense to westerners. A lot of them got paid visits from the heavies over there. So don’t take this data sheet lightly. And don’t worry about me…desert eag (and Rugers for minor maneuvers), plus I got The Garduna behind me…..So here are The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls:

Sizzle

This is very important for the opening. You have approach girls with snap, swagger and energy. You need to have a purpose and pitch something that is exciting, fresh and unique. For instance, pitching 3 ringside seats to a Title Fight to a couple of exotic dancers in a Gentleman’s Club is going to have some Sizzle on it (make sure you sit Girl-Boy-Girl). But know your audience; pitching a girl on an afternoon in The Turf Club at the Racetrack might seem like a good pitch on a Hollywood actress girl, unless she volunteers for PETA during her off-time. The gear you wear helps a lot. A custom, light grey Paul Smith suit (with ticket pocket) with purple pinstripes, Lilac pocket square by Brioni and a light Resort Style Armani shirt with Crocodile loafers by A. Testoni will give you that added zip that you need. Focus helps give you Sizzle. When I am picking up on a girl it might seem extremely effortless to the untrained eye. In reality, I am incredibly focused. Sometimes I am so focused I am basically clairvoyant…..with extra sensory perception…..hell, some days I can move objects, like telekinesis when I am picking up girls. Important note: girls always talk about how the like “bad boys” (their language, not mine). But you can cross the line; I remember hanging out with a girl in a café during the day and two hitters came after me. It escalated into a full-blown daylight street shootout. The girl, completely unharmed, (who always said she liked “bad boys”) disconnected her phone when I tried to call her a few days later. So the lesson is, don’t push the “bad boy” thing too far. (Again, girls lingo not mine)

Control

Like any good MC that has Mic Control you need to control what is happening. For instance, don’t follow a girl you are trying to swoop to some bar that has a crappy band playing that her ex-boyfriend is in. You have to call the shots. Otherwise you could very easily end up Behind Enemy Lines. You make all decisions on where you are going and who you are rolling with. You need to know what moves to make during all hours of the day and night. Know what restaurant is best. Where the underground spots are. You need to dictate the action. Remember, part of what a night is scored on is “effective aggressiveness” and “ring generalship”. Don’t be afraid to walk away from the whole deal either. The key to this is having plenty of girls in your Pipe. You don’t even have to ask to know that my Pipe stays full like Mark Twain and General Macarthur’s.

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Rapport

This one is tough. Let’s face it, G’s and most girls have very little in common. Most normal girls don’t like Boxing, hanging out with underworld figures, eating extremely fattening foods, listening to the sound of money being counted in a money counter, negotiating gem prices, drinking wine like we are about to start prohibition again, Swooping as many girls as possible, planning heists, living a life of leisure, and being an all around Jet-setting International Playboy. When a girl asks you “What do you like to do for fun?” You can’t really respond with “Picking up on Girls” as an answer. (Side note: Thru an unofficial study, I have found out that many Female G’s, yes they do exist, are Bi-sexual, and because of this, saying “Picking up on girls” can be an acceptable answer). You need to find some kind of common ground, hard as it may be at times. For instance, most white girls have some Irish blood in them, so if you’re Irish at all, Bingo, there you go. Know a little about Zodiac Signs as well. News just in, girls like talking about signs, especially exotic dancers. There is a reason fly cats in the 70’s worked the sign game. In the new millennium, however, you can’t really ask girls flat out “what’s your sign?” Their guard is up on that stuff. It’s better to lead girls “down the canyon” on this. Simply put, tell a girl you just had your birthday, ask a girl when her birthday is, and within two minutes, she will be asking you what your sign is. Every time. Worst case scenario, ask a girl what her favorite animal is and say it’s yours also. Just find some something in common…….Skippy.

Gang Starr, Ex Girl to the Next Girl

Trust

Trust usually falls in line from Rapport. But still you have to work on it. Usually this is the part when you really have to put on your lying cap. For instance, if you were in a baseball bat fight with the Baseball Furies the night before, you probably want to leave it out of the conversation. Or if a girl asks you “how many girls you have slept with?” It goes without saying, that you don’t tell the truth. I remember a time when I was a young Prototype G and a girl I was swooping asked me, “how many girls you have slept with?”. I remember I responded “I don’t know, like fifty” thinking I would say a “low” number (in reality at that time it was probably about 3 to 4 times that). I remember her reaction and the funny look she had on face when I said, “fifty”. Incredibly and naively, I remember thinking that she gave me a weird look because it was such a low number (And in reality it is, if you go out a lot, you can swoop 50 fly girls in 2 months…) The next time I called her, her number was disconnected. It wasn’t until I ran into her a few months later, (at one of my Bases of Operations at the time), that I realized that she thought that number was extremely high. It wasn’t the first or the last time a girl has called me a “pig” (her lingo not mine). Skillfully, I talked my way out of it, on the fly, and ended up closing the account. A come-from-behind knockout a la Rocky Graziano. Side note: The best answer the dreaded question “how many girls you have slept with?” is, in the sincerest way possible “I have been with a few very important girls in my life…..” And leave it at that. Trust me.

Urgency

You have to make things happen fast when you are picking up girls. Every moment that goes by after you have gotten a girls phone number or made a date with her is hurts your chances. It’s a similar concept to “time erosion” with options trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. Or the Chicago Board of Trade, or CME for that matter. It’s like a depreciating asset. The chances of a girl “coming to”, from the hypnotism of your Game is a lot higher as your Game starts to wear off. Always make plans with girls that night or the next. Collapse time frames.

Greed

One of the Seven Deadly Sins. Many theorists say it’s the most important of the deadly sins. “Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms — greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge — has marked the upward surge of mankind.”—Gecko. And greed — you mark my words — will not only save the G’s, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA………The Rest is Up to You.

Side Note:

In addition to Resort Style. On the west coast, summer style is very casual (I am primarily referring to the southern part). Don’t fall for it. People might think you are excessive and wrong for wearing a $2700 custom Italian suit in summer. Keep in mind this is made by skilled Italian craftsmen (I would call the guys who work on my suits Artists) who put about 50 hours of labor into it. Yet these same people think that think you are being excessive and wrong for wearing it, are wearing a Logoed Surf T-Shirt that costs five cents to make by some kid with missing fingers in some child labor sweat shop in some far-flung Tin Pot Republic. And they pay like $80 for the stupid T-Shirt! And I am the one being excessive and wrong…….Go Figure…..

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
How to pick up Girls
How to pick up chicks
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

A Tribe Called Quest – Butter

The Roots – Break You Off