The G Manifesto

Analog Game, Digital Game

“Play ya cards, go against all odds

Shoot for tha moon if you miss, you still amongst those stars”

–Beanie Siegel “Feel it in the Air”

There is no denying that Technology has changed “The Game”. For better or worse, you need to adapt if you going to stay one step ahead in The 21^st Century. Today we will analyze how The Internet, Cellphones, and The Digital world has changed the world of the G. And listen up, because I have gotten inside more skirts than washing instructions.

Caller ID and Voicemail

Obviously the invention of the telephone or the invention of the Printing Press (which was invented by Johannes Gutenberg, probably the most important person of last millennium next to Jack Dempsey, Muhammad Ali, and Don Juan) had the biggest impact on Game. But those two inventions happened way before my time. Probably the biggest technological innovation during my lifetime effecting Game has been Caller ID and Voice Mail. Gone are the days of constantly calling a girl until you get her “live” on the phone. Game has mutated from being skillful on a “hot call” to needing to leave innovative voice messages. This is certainly the case today as most girls won’t even answer calls where they don’t recognize the phone number or blocked calls. Unless you have multiple cell phones (like I do) you really only have one chance to hook a girl that you met at the bar and got her phone number. In the old days you had a million chances. So you need to up your leaving voicemail leaving skills in the Digital Game. Saying something like:

“Michelle, It was great meeting you during happy hour last Friday afternoon, I was the guy drinking the Miller light with my Mortgage broker buddies, and I was thinking maybe uh, sometime we could meet again and we could meet at the sports bar and have some potato skins and “brews” and you could meet all my buddies that wear khaki pants and striped shirts…..” isn’t going to cut it. At least not any girl that’s going to electrocute your nervous system.

You need to leave a message like this: “Davinia, Hola, Its Michael, I am having some Lobster Ravioli’s with my Godfather and a glass of Robert Biale, Black Chicken Zin, getting ready to go to the airport to go to Punta Del Este, but I will be back soon if I don’t go to Buenos Aires to check on the construction of my cousins nightclub, or to the Caymans to meet my Uncle who is doing some Banking down there, so give me a call so we can meet up when I am back in town. Ciao.”

Email

Now when I was coming up, and you wanted to keep in touch with girls in different cities or different countries, you had to write them a letter. Suprisingly, Email has actually made life easier. Personally, I never thought it would. In fact, I still remember when one of my friends (who is a G in his own right, good idea man, good visionary, and a good hijacker and has moved more Miami Base than Luke Skywalker from 2 Live Crew, now known as just Luke) first told me about Email. After he gave me a demonstration about how to use it, I remember saying “No one is ever going to use that crap”. I guess I was wrong. Email actually is a lot easier than having to go to the post office, and helps people with poor handwriting. Less personal, but saves you time that you could spend scheming, relaxing at a Gentleman’s Club, monitoring Armored Car routes, or spitting some street game.

Text Messaging

Text Messaging is actually a technological advancement that has helped the G. Here is the perfect situation: You are winding up a great business dinner; Mac and Cheese (Gruyere), Foie Gras 4 ways, Fresh Free Range Scallop Tartare, some raw little neck clams, some Winterpoint (Maine), Cape Breton (Nova Scotia), Malpeque (Prince Edward Island), and Tatamagouche (Nova Scotia) Oysters and a Bone Dry Sauvignon Blanc from the Graves District of France’s Bordeaux region. Suited down of course (Charcoal pinstriped Zegna Two Button, Grey Alexander McQueen Shirt, Deep Blue Kiton pocket Square, no tie, I think), with some friends and its only 11:45 pm and you are wondering what you should do with your head buzz and the rest of the evening. The best thing to do is shoot out a “Text Blaster” to ten girls you know and see who else is out on a Wednesday night. I usually get a better than 50% response rate, and I work off the fresh leads. This is way quicker than calling a bunch of girls and saves you precious (and I don’t mean that girl that works at the Penthouse Executive Club in NYC who goes by the stage name Precious, real name Sara, either) time. Text Blasters are one of my secrets to staying Undefeated, night after night.

Camera Phones

Anyone who has gone out in the last year has noticed the proliferation of Camera Phones in the Nightclubs and Restaurants. Personally, it annoys me and I avoid pictures at all costs. My Uncle (who was a top-notch Heist man in his own right) always told me to avoid pictures so there is no record of you being somewhere at sometime. Constructing alibi’s and things like that (and I don’t mean The Alibi, that great Exotic Dancer meeting point in New Orleans either). Regular 9 to 5 girls and Tourist girls will always try to get you in their pictures. Avoid them. If you stuck in one, get good at mastering the “turn your head” move before the Pic is taken. The only real purpose for the camera phone is documenting some girls you swooped on if someone in your crew doesn’t believe you swooped two Model girls, one blonde, one Latina, the night before.

Internet Dating Websites

Some people say you can meet mad girls on these. I don’t doubt it. But these sites are not really G Manifesto Material. Not Tactical. I have never done them and never will. Call me old-school if you want. I’m fine with that.

Evites

On paper, Seems like a great way to let a lot of people know your having a gig! In reality, it’s a great way to get a lot of un-interesting people together all at once. Try to think of any gig you have gone to from an Evite that was fun…..Exactly. Avoid all gigs from Evites.

MySpace

Many younger proto-type G’s swear by MySpace. I have checked it out and there are Mad Girls on it. But I am simply way too busy hanging at The Race Track, The Fights, Hotel Lobby Bars, Planning Heists, Counting Money, Grading Gems, Adjusting my Triple-Beam, Swooping Models, and Taking The G Manifesto to the next Chamber to screw around on that website (I barely have enough time to write For The People on The G Manifesto, and line for line, rhyme for rhyme The Manifesto is the Dopest site on the Internet, right?). I don’t knock the hustle though. I think if you are a Rhyme Spitter, a DJ, an artist, or whatever I think it is a great way to get your Product out there. The one good thing about it for the G is DATA. Here is the Situation: you meet a girl at some high-end gig and you think her family could be loaded with tons of Scratch. Grab her email address and plug it into MySpace and check her profile (almost every young girl has one these days, It is completely ludicrous, and I don’t mean the MC from ATL either). Check out her photos. If she has pictures of her family in front of their Track home in Phoenix or pictures of her and her girl friends drinking with some guys that could be part of The “Jackass” crew you know you’ve been duped and she is after Your dough. Information is the greatest Commodity.

I am sure this will be updated as new Technology gets created. Personally, I think we have enough. I think we should have stopped at Pagers (which was one invention that I thought made it easier to somersault Bricks) and I have recently toyed with the idea of returning to them. Well see. Till then…The Rest is Up to You………………..

Emails of the Week in regards to: Surf and Turf: The Race Track

“Gitty Up!!! Simply fantastic advice a real treat for the up and coming G, you were born to be a mentor. As for the 4 dead bodies, it would have been 5 but my SIG jammed up. Last time I was at the track I dropped 3 beans, got super wasted off the guitar margaritas in the peasant section and passed out in horse stable if it weren’t for a jockey with a moped helmet urinating on my face at 6 AM the next day I may have been raped by Seabiscuit. My game is on a whole other level now, I plan on hitting up this Del Mar gig soon after my next heist in LA, I plan on coming in fresh threads and bank roll big enough to fill up Santa’s Sleigh. Locals have been calling me simply “The Machete”. Going from Dickies and GAP tees to Gucci Loafers and 36 D’s is a tribute to your greatness Mr. Ghost Hands, see you in the French Riviera Mutha Fucka!!!”

–Two words: Colt Python. You should look into it.—MPM

And

“You think you are so fucking cool. Please tell me you didn’t come up with all the foolishness on that stupid page yourself. If you did, #1 – you have too much time on your hands. #2 – You are modeling your fantasy life from Puff Daddy’s world. #3 – You take yourself way too seriously. Nice Try. Real “players” that have “game” would never, EVER waste time posting about it on Blogger. You need to stop reading hip-hop lyrics and modeling your fantasy life from it. You lie! You sound like someone who watches too many music videos on BET. Remember that!”

—–First of all Skippy, watch the language, ladies read The G Manifesto. Second, I do like BET, and I have drank Champagne with Puff, but I like underground Hip-Hop more or just kicking back and watching “Wild Style”. Third, “We all know that Game is not truth. Game is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” And you can quote me on that G Manifesto original. Remember that……. Squeaky—MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Coffin, The Shovel, and The Headstone
AKA Michael Digital
AKA Miguel Analog
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Surf and Turf: The Race Track

[Rap] Aiyyo my lifestyle’s exquisite, Llello like a blizzard
[Nas] It’s choir attire standin on ground with one pivot
[Rap] Two players rockin silk blazers and diamonds like glaciers
[Nas] Lands with name brand seats reclinin like in spaceships
[Rap] Bodies on ice
[Nas] Livin trife, rollin fixed up dice
[Rap] Gamblin Grants
[Nas] Handlin stamps
[duo] Moves are sheist
[Nas] My bankrolls, got the cops comin in plain clothes
[Rap] Tryin to arraign again cause of our fame that’s how the game goes
[Nas] True
[Rap] Right out the slammer with the fame and glamour
Cookin up grams with Arm & Hammer supplyin scramblers in Alabama
[Nas] Rub out faces and leave no traces
My aces got mad body cases, preserve spaces at the horse races

(Murder. Simply some of the Sickest lyrics ever breathed into a microphone. “Fast Life” by Nas and Kool G Rap,
G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame Track…….and just so you know its spelled “Llello” not yayo…its Spanish…… Skippy)

One of the favorite places for The G to hang out at, especially in Summertime, is the Race Track. In fact, The Kentucky Derby is the official Start of Summer on the G Manifesto Calendar. And Summer time officially ends on Closing Day. September 6^th at The Del Mar Thoroughbred Club on the West Coast and September 4^th at The Saratoga Race Track on the East Coast. Depends obviously on where you’re at (or where your going).

Winning at Gambling is very difficult at the race track. To paraphrase Andy Beyer, who has called horseracing “the greatest mathematical equation ever created” the odds are solidly against you. Good gamblers, Even great gamblers that win at other games get whacked at the Track. Me? I don’t gamble on horses too much. I operate on inside information, or have a jockey, or preferably jockeys in my back pocket. I also spend of a lot of time with the racing and sportsman set. This helps me get the edge I need. But mostly I go to the Race Track for the experience. Much like a Fight Night, the track is full of interesting characters. Big Money Horse owners, Jockeys, Trainers, Gold Diggers, Socialite Girls, Professional Team sports Coaches, Old Money, Nuevo Riche Jerks, Con Men, Models, Hollywood Actress Broads, Nightlife Princesses, Old-School G’s, G’s, G’s on the Rise, Prototype G’s, Gamblers, its like a modern day Damon Runyon Story. (Guess who is playing the role of the protagonist?)

However, you can’t just go to the racetrack with no preparation and game plan or you’re going to be outgunned. Like stepping into a gun fight with a deuce deuce against a four pound. It’s a war zone. You need to go stronger than ever, money longer than ever, longer Beretta. (And just so you know, personally, I am at war a lot like Anwar Sadat, no warning shot and my guns warm a lot)

Be well rested

Going into the racetrack you are going to need plenty of energy. Its summer time so it’s hot out. The track usually starts around 12 noon or sometimes 4pm. Either way you are in for a long day into the night, and you have to be ready for the night. I love going to the track during the week, because that’s when the real gamblers are there. I also love going to the track on Friday and Saturday, hell, even Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (never Mondays, I never eat seafood on a Monday, unless of course I am at Le Bernardin in NYC….props to Eric Ripert). Being well rested is difficult especially when you spent the night before getting massages and drinking Champagne with two exotic dancers till 5 am. So you might need to take a Vampire Nap or drink a Rockstar. Getting a workout and Entering The Dragon can also help take the place of lost Rapid Eye Movement. The best thing to do is hold off on booze when you first get to the track and really ease into the relaxed Atmosphere. Then ease into the Goose and Sodas, and I guarantee you, when you start seeing the summer dresses and smell the Coca butter and perfume you will start feeling wonderful. Plenty of time to get into the Seventh Dimension. The Race Track is one of the few places you will actually see me drink during the day.

Track Gear

You have to dress fresh at the track. My goal is to always dress the freshest. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t achieve my goal. And I have a great memory. You can never go wrong going old-school style: Seersucker Suits, Spectator shoes, etc. Make sure you wear a light colored suit as well. You’ll look like you only own one suit if you go in a dark collared one, which is probably the case if you are wearing a dark collared suit on a hot summer day. So stop being cheap and spring $2000 for a decent light colored summer track suit. Me? I have like 20 (on each coast). I like going with a light tan Valentino two button with Lavender Shirt (and I am not talking about that Nightlife Princess Lavender either), purple Brioni pocket square, Gucci Belt and Prada loafers no socks, Sportsman Style. It is also completely acceptable to wear sport coats and Slacks to the track. Just make sure they are top-notch. Ties can work, but due to the heat, it is advisable to go no tie. The Pocket Square is the New Tie.

Turf Club

You have to gain entry into the private area of the Race Track. The Sky boxes are good but entry into the Private Turf Club is really what you want. Why? Because drinking cocktails out of plastic cups in General Population has never done any G any good. Also the girls are richer, the girls are hotter, its easier to place bets, and as Willie Sutton said,” Because that’s where the Money is”. How do you get entry? For members it’s easy. Other wise, you are going to have to be creative. (We will cover entry into private clubs and nightclubs in a future G Manifesto, for now refer to The Art of The Grease). Once you’re in, get the Matre’d on lock and the Bartenders. This will make your life easy. For me it’s real easy because these types of private clubs are like Bases of Operations for me.

Winning every Race

Once your settled in, got your table, ordered a Shrimp Cocktail or set up your Base at the bar its time to “win” some Races. Now, unless you “know” what is going to happen during the race (as I often do) you WILL lose if you bet. So the key to the track is you must pretend like your “winning” every race. Everyone likes a winner. Girls will gravitate over to you, Socialite girls will leave there boyfriends to hang out with you, the Gold Diggers and Table Hawks will start circling and you will get Biz opportunities and Biz Cards up the Kazoo. The advantage you have is most people bet and lose and when people ask them how they are doing, they say, “Losing”, or “I am getting killed!” or something along those lines (and I don’t mean Beeks either). Now when a fly girl just talked to that “losing” guy, and then comes up to you and asks how your doing, and you say “that last race worked out really well” or “that race set up perfectly, but I studied the race all morning” who do you think she is going to want to hang out with more? Also when the race is running, Yell and cheer (keep it smooth though), but don’t make mention of which horse you are pulling for. When the come down the wire, increase your cheering. As the horses approach the finish line Yell something to your Running Partner like “I told you!” And even thrown in some high-fives to make it all look authentic. You will be able to feel the eyes of girls on you from all over. Similar to marketing. Now spark up a smoke. Take a sip for an elegant high, be one hell of a guy, fly pelican fly.

Know the Ecosystem

The great part about the racetrack is you get a diverse portfolio of girls. Hollywood Actress girls love the Track. So do Model Girls. So do Gold Diggers and Table Hawks. And Rich Daughters. We will deal with how to deal with these different girls at a later date. For now refer to The Six Elements of Picking up Girls.

Do your legwork

Know the after gigs. It’s important to get multiple pitches out to girls during the track to hook up things for later. Know the resorts, the restaurant owners, who are hosting the Mansion Parties and the bartenders. Its summertime, remember, and bars tend to get busy. Every second counts, and you don’t want to waste precious time waiting for drinks. Get the waitresses on lock down also. These girls can really bail you out by putting together a private chilling area for you and a Running Partner and a couple of fly Diggers. Having a top chef come by and shake your hand and order something for you “off-menu” never made anyone look bad either. If the move gets no reaction from the girl, call her a cab to take back to her crib in the trailer park/ suburbs.

Work in Pairs

The G Manifesto usually advocates working dolo, unless you are rolling with a G Manifesto Certified Running Partner. Then it’s good to go Scarface with Manolo. The Race Track is a good place to roll with Running Partner. Girls often are in bigger groups and it’s good to have some extra muscle to deal with rival crews and Haters. And like anywhere these days, there is no lack of Haters at the Track.

“I knew it!”

In closing, here is a great custom move to use on girls at the track (and I have used this move so many times with success, I don’t mind giving it up): Spot two fly socialite girls like a Cheetah. Have your running partner roll over to them (suited down of course) and sprack up a conversation. Doesn’t really matter, could be about anything, just be charming, witty, and hold their attention. Next you “roll up” on them like sleeves, ignore the girls and say to your Running Partner “Remember we have ten Grand riding on this race” right before the announcer says “And there off!” Follow the Race and ignore the girls completely. This is very important. Become a little more animated as the horses are coming down the final stretch, remember, and don’t specify which horse or horses you are pulling for. As the horses come Thru the Wire (and I don’t mean that Kanye track with that dope Chaka Kahn sample, Through The Fire), say “I knew it!” and give your running partner a Pound. Maybe throw something else in there like “I told you….that’s three races in a row now!” Girls will already be completely sold on you. If you want to torture them, wait for them to introduce themselves. If you don’t want to punish them too much, Introduce yourself, and invite them for a drink at the bar. Ignore all questions about which horses you had or who you have on the next race, or greet there questions with your index finger up to your lips, like you would “shhhhh”. No need to make the sound. Invite them to your table at the finish line. The Rest is Up To You…………

Email of the Week in regards to Nightlife Princesses:

“I thought you got busted Mr. Portfirio, I was sick to my stomach and having panic attacks thinking you were in the clink, or are you? Anyways I have become quite the G thanks to your Manifesto’s, and when my new Razor PDF vibrated in my new Bironi Custom made suit with your latest blog in Vegas last night (all of this thanks to a heist in Scottsdale that netted me 450K and left 4 dead, but that’s neither here nor there) I quickly located the local “Vegas Nightlife Princess” at the most upscale underground night club in all of Sin City. I simply said “Jack Pot”!!!!!!!!

Needless to say I followed your tips, and had her back in my suite at 6 AM doing things to her that even a farm animal would scowl at. She limped out of my room 20 minutes ago. Thanks for the tips and tricks, keep them coming and should we ever cross path beware that you created primp up and coming mutha fucking G!!!!!”

—–Not sure about the whole farm animal thing. I don’t really know too much about farms. I stick to cities, beaches and cities on Beaches. Sounds like a decent score, too bad you had to go to Scotsdale to do it, but next time make it more clean, dead bodies can cause unnecessary Heat (and I don’t mean that crappy NightClub called Heat either). All in all, good work.—–MPM

Side Note:

Immortal Technique from Harlem, Washington Heights is probably the Rawest MC right now. Bone Chilling. You should look into it.

Side Note II:

Opening Day at the Track is the worst time to go to the track. Ask any dork when they like to go to the Track and they will say, “Opening Day!” Enough Said.

Side Note III:

When you are at The Del Mar Thoroughbred Club, do not, and I repeat, do not go to Pacific Beach afterwards. Pacific Beach is one the greatest hoaxes ever put on the straight male. The bars in Pacific Beach have more guys than gay bars. The funny thing about it all the guys that go to Pacific Beach are homophobic. But maybe it makes sense; you know what they say about homophobic people……

Side Note III:

In the most recent issue of Los Angeles Magazine in a pro-smoking article about The Tinder Box, one patron is quoted as saying “Hitler was a non-smoker and Einstein smoked a pipe….what does that tell you?” Sound familiar? Probably does, because you already read the concept in The G Manifestos earlier installment, The Smoking Gun. That’s ok, I borrow from people also.

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Murder Machine
AKA The One you Got Your Game Style From
AKA You Probably know me from Your Girl
AKA The One your Girl was with When She Never Came Home
AKA The One Who Climbs up the Balcony with The Sunglasses and The Shotty
AKA The Don Juan Beside The Don
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Chaka Khan, Through the Fire…dope

Kanye West, Through the Wire